Hello and Guide please

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Hello and Guide please

Post by Matt123 » Mon Jul 08, 2013 12:20 pm

Dear All,

This is my first time on this blog. And the first time I am opening up. The reason I am here is because I have been reading this forum for a few weeks now and thought this is as close to Eckhart that I am going to be, outside of Face Book.

About me - I am 37 years old and I am a "normal" person. I have had my frustrations with work, arguments with my wife, fights with my parents, envy, disappointments et al in my life so far. And lately, with the birth of 2nd child, I feel very burdened and responsible. I have come to a very high level in the corporate world and now things look very shaky. And job market is very fragile for someone like me. My wife is very supportive but I feel it is my responsibility to ensure that my family has all their needs taken care off and they enjoy the same level of comfort as always. This fear for my family and future is driving me nuts. I have tried some ventures on the side but they too have failed to take off, adding to my frustrations.

I read "Power of Now" about 8 years ago and have tried practicing it on and off. It is easy to practice it when things are going well. But the moment the going gets tough, I am defenceless. So after a few months of this stress, I am back to Eckhart and his teachings again. And somehow this time, I want to make it stick! I know this is my healing.

I am thinking a peer group support would be good, so here I am. And big question, I am trying to get answered by Eckhart and his teachings is this:

How can I be dispassionate, accept, be present (future-less), thought-free, yet grow up the corporate ladder, make money and fulfill my family responsibilities and plan for the future etc? Is Eckhart's teachings only for non-family folks and not for fathers with kids?

Looking for your support and guidance to seek true happiness,

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Re: Hello and Guide please

Post by rideforever » Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:35 pm

Hello Matt, hi from me ! Hope you find you are looking for.

Just on a practical note, the world is all at sea at the moment, so my personal view is that you have to be prepared to roll with it if you want to stay in a good place economically. I am in the UK, and over the last few years some of my friends and families have moved around to stick with good income streams ... just to bite that bullet before the fan falls off the table. It's good wisdom, although knowing when to jump is not so easy. But I think exploring other avenues is always good ... sometimes I feel boxed in ... but that's only when I am not reaching out in different directions. In other words : don't be a sitting duck, it's not necessary as there is a lot's of stuff going on out there. And some difficult changes - that seem insurmountable - well a couple of months later you are in a totally different situation, and everything is dandy and you feel good ... what was all the fear about !

And there is something about moving forward that generates opportunities ... big and small, just opening your arms to them gives you a whole different perspective of what's possible.

Could be work related, venture related, romance, family, community, travel, anything ... just forward motion. Sending out the message that you are ready for something new. And taking it !

With the much-maligned corporate world ... some meetings are like funerals eh !! But it's amazing what happens when you stride in with a bit of love energy, people sit up and say "what the hell is going on - someone alive in here ?!" ... and it can be a real party ... after that. People love that !

I was in this meeting about 3 months ago with rail engineers ... these guys work the tracks and we were having a software meeting for a joint project. Anyway they are public service and heavily unionised and have all these moans todo with politicians and managers etc... etc... .... must have been saying the same thing for 20 years.

So I thought ... "wow this guy is like a broken record, what he really wants is someone to acknowledge him ... rather than let him moan ... and if nobody is going to do something then he is going to continue playing this tune for another 20 years." So in the meeting I really started to challenge him, not just let those moans carry on, but really took some interest in them. And it was like he woke up !! Like he had been talking in his sleep until someone rung the alarm bell and he came back to life, and we had quite a zippy meeting there - all good.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

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Re: Hello and Guide please

Post by karmarider » Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:25 pm

Matt123 wrote:How can I be dispassionate, accept, be present (future-less), thought-free, yet grow up the corporate ladder, make money and fulfill my family responsibilities and plan for the future etc? Is Eckhart's teachings only for non-family folks and not for fathers with kids?
Eckhart's teaching is not just for non-family folks. On the other hand I think it is true that those of us with families and dependents and corporate careers may have challenges which ET does not say anything about directly.

I will always be grateful to ET for he prodded me to start this exploration with his simple words which got through to my then-dense intellect. The way I see this exploration, or awakening, is that it's not about becoming dispassionate or thought-free or present or ego-less or future-less. In my view, it's been more about clarity, and cleansing the mind of mental conflicts and the effects of fear. It's an iterative process of knowing and experiencing, and at some point the process is inseperable from life itself.

ET is great and he speaks the truth. I've also learned from others who say the same as ET but from different perspectives. John Sherman's looking technique is a clearer approach to what Ramana's self-inquiry and Nisargadatta's resting in the sense-of-I-am.

And I had some of the same questions you do, and that's where the rubber meets the tarmac, in the actual living of life as a human being in the modern world, with responsibilities and relationships and money and obligations and so on, and I found the greatest help, consistent with my atheistic perspective, in the books Conversations with God.

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Re: Hello and Guide please

Post by runstrails » Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:13 am

Matt123 wrote:How can I be dispassionate, accept, be present (future-less), thought-free, yet grow up the corporate ladder, make money and fulfill my family responsibilities and plan for the future etc? Is Eckhart's teachings only for non-family folks and not for fathers with kids?
Welcome, Matt.

You've got some good replies already, I'll add my perspective.

I too am a parent, have a pretty demanding career and hobbies that take up my time and energy. I also wrangled with the whole issue of awakening and the workplace and financial security. You'll see many of my posts from past years referring to those. The insanity of the modern workplace drives many of us to spirituality. I agree with Karmarider that ET likely has no idea of the modern office! But he does appear to have a spiritual empire which he maintains and which must come with some degree of stress, I imagine.

However, awakening is not about getting comfortable in the dream. It is about realizing that it's a dream in the first place! So my advice is to continue your exploration and realize your true nature. Later, things seem to fall into place because you are able to discriminate between what is real and what is not. Even if you get swept up with financial worries or worries about your family for a while, you always return to your true nature and it's perspective which provides the recognition that your worries are well....figments of the mind, just like everything else. Even though its a pretty radical shift in perspective, life goes on in an ordinary way. So my suggestion is to continue your exploration ever more deeply. We have many other books and links that are recommended in the recommended sections. Practice discriminating between what is real and not real-----which can be great fun in the office! You are not Matt who is struggling to survive as a separate individual in this harsh world, you are simply reality which appears to be dancing as "Matt". "Matt' cannot control anything, reality does not need to control anything.

What of your wife and daughter---do you really need to worry about them? What's their true nature? Well, when you have the answer, you'll realize you don't really need to worry about them too much either :D.

Welcome again and look forward to more of your posts.

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Re: Hello and Guide please

Post by Matt123 » Tue Jul 09, 2013 6:48 am

Thank you everyone. I look forward to be being here, interacting and growing up!

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Re: Hello and Guide please

Post by Webwanderer » Tue Jul 09, 2013 7:00 am

Very well said RT.

Welcome Matt. (I think that was an unintended pun) My sense it that life in the physical is not about success and failure, but about exploration and experience. On the human/ego level we get invested in conditions, like feeding the kids and paying the bills. They can be quite consuming in our attention. From a true-self perspective we are more interested in experience, like how did I handle this or that from a cause and effect relationship.

They are not mutually exclusive. Rather, the focus one puts on success and failure of the things the ego deems important, is the experiential grist that brings expansion to one's greater conscious being. Of course what the ego deems important can be anything from climbing the corporate ladder to becoming spiritually enlightened. The greater conscious self finds all of it interesting and valuable.

Quality of life will depend more on love and appreciation than it will on the big raise in pay and increase in status. That's not to say you can't have both. It depends on how you go about engaging in relationships and conditions as they unfold. Take steps that feel uplifting and inspiring as best you can, and avoid those that feel contracting or painful. It's a reliable guidance system that works for all areas of life.


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