Hello from Kansas

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Hello from Kansas

Postby costello » Tue Jun 03, 2014 8:20 pm

Hi:

I'm joining this forum with a bit of trepidation. I'm active on forums on other topics and find them useful, but I'm a little worried about intellectualizing this subject rather than just experiencing it.

I recently listened to The Power of Now on audiotape. Despite years of reading and listening to books and lectures on Buddhism and other mindfulness type approaches, I don't think I've really experienced being in the now. Then a few days ago I was driving along listening to The Power of Now when suddenly I 'got it.' It was like something clicked, and I was truly present. Everything around me looked more vivid and alive. Then the sensation passed in a less than a minute. For the next 24 hours or so, I seemed to be able to click back into that mindset for a few seconds at a time. Now I can't seem to do it anymore.

Anyway, it was a tantalizing experience, and I would like to have it again.
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Re: Hello from Kansas

Postby runstrails » Tue Jun 03, 2014 8:32 pm

Welcome Costello! Glad that you have had a 'glimpse'. Experiences will come and go--but once you realize your true nature that realization will be here to stay.
Welcome to the forum. I think we have a nice balance between stimulating discussions and expressions of being. Look around all the tabs and hope your enjoy your stay!
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Re: Hello from Kansas

Postby costello » Tue Jun 03, 2014 9:17 pm

Thanks, runstrails, for the reassurance that it's here to stay.

It occurred to me after I posted that I'm not complaining as much as I usually do. I've been very unhappy recently, and I can't help but notice that some of my coworkers don't look thrilled to see me when I enter the room. I imagine I'm draining them with my complaints, but I can't seem to help it. I noticed today that they're not looking quite so hesitant to talk to me. (Or maybe it's just that I feel lighter, so I'm perceiving them different.) I just had a whole conversation with them in which I don't think I uttered a single complaint. And it's not because I'm forcing myself not to mention the problems. I just feel oddly disconnected from the things that usually worry me.

I'm also not feeling that dread I have as I'm driving home. Due to problems with my neighbors, I've been feeling anxious as I drive home. These last few days I haven't, though. I have this sense that whatever is waiting for me at home I'll deal with when I get there. In the meantime nothing bad is happening during the drive home, so why ruin the moment worrying about something which may or may not happen until I get home and which I can't deal with when I get there anyway?

Describing it like that really minimizes the experience, though. I'm not intellectually thinking it through. I'm just enjoying the trees on the drive home rather than imagining all the what-ifs that may be waiting at home.

In many ways it's all the same stuff Thich Nhat Hahn says, but for some reason it never sank in before. I do hope this is the lingering effect of the experience I had a few days ago and that I can strengthen it by continuing to do exercises to enhance it.
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Re: Hello from Kansas

Postby runstrails » Wed Jun 04, 2014 3:18 am

Hi Costello,
I used to be a big complainer too so I can relate! I'm glad things are sinking in for you. In my experience, they will continue to sink in slowly but steadily. But again don't look to re-create experiences, rather keep up your inquiry. As Ramana Maharishi would say--"who are you?". Don't rest till you know--or perhaps you know already :wink:
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Re: Hello from Kansas

Postby KathleenBrugger » Wed Jun 04, 2014 4:44 am

Welcome costello, loved your post about being less negative and anxious. I understand your concern about intellectualizing, but this forum is a great place to share experiences, like you just did, with people who can understand what you're talking about.
We are ALL Innocent by Reason of Insanity
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