I`m glad...

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I`m glad...

Postby anjaanja » Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:25 pm

...about finding this community!
I`m sorry, I don`t speak english well, but I´m learning, learning learning... ;-)!
Hope your can understand me and see my points...
I´m 52 years old and from germany, from Berlin.
I´m a recovering alcoholic. I don`t drink alc since 2013.Because I want to help other alcoholics I work for the journal:http://www.trokkenpresse.de., you can look at that, if you are interested.
It isn`t easy, to live without alcohol, but it is possible. "The power of now" is my partner on this way. I have the spirit, the most toughts of this book inside me today, i can feel that and try to live in my now... I`m on the way...
But I can not, can not link Tolle`s words about sicknesses with my own psychical illness called alkoholism...
For living without alc we patients have learnt to say: I`m Anja, I´m alcoholic.
We have learnt to be careful while every minute in our life, because each drop, molecule of alc can be the reason for an "fall-back".
I always have the have the sickness in my mind, the doctors say... it shall be veryvery important for my survival.
BUT: I believe, that is so unconscious!
Since I internalise each word of Tolle in his first book I lost the feeling to need alc more and more, the root of my addiction.
I don`t have any reasons to drink in the now.
Can your see my point or is my english to bad???
At the moment I miss an answer, I don`t know how can I handle that.
Thanks for answers!!!!
Anja
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby kiki » Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:51 pm

Welcome to the community, anjaanja. Your post is quite clear. You might want to check out Scott Kiloby. He's someone who teaches from the awakened perspective, and addresses issues of addiction since he was once addicted himself. http://www.kiloby.com/recovery.php
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Thanks to kiki

Postby anjaanja » Sun Feb 15, 2015 1:59 pm

It was a wonderful advice, dear kiki :-)!
I haven`t heard from scotty kiloby yet. His words, his books aren`t translated to german yet... I think, because this new way for addiction isn`t in the sence of industries (pharma, hospitals, clinics, alhohol companies...). Maybe.
I´m grateful that you have opend me some other ways for my seeking.

I can feel the link Tolle-Natural rest for addiction. It`s the answer to my question.
Thanks!!!
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby CaiHong » Wed Feb 18, 2015 4:05 am

Hi and welcome Anjaanja,

Good on you for stopping drinking, I am coming up to four years sober with the help and support of AA and Soberrecovery.com. I am not so fearful of relapsing as I was when I first got sober. It seems more of a choice to drink or not now and it doesn't make any sense to do so. When Eckhart Tolle talks about addiction he puts it into a healthy perspective, I first read ET when I first got sober and although it was comforting at the time and I had read Krishnamurti so the ideas weren't radical to me, he says it better I needed a lot more support from fellow alcoholics who had gone through what I was going through.
Your English is very understandable, no apologies there.

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Re: I`m glad...

Postby DavidB » Wed Feb 18, 2015 12:44 pm

Hi anjaanja,

I am very glad that you are glad. :D

For myself, my addiction to drinking alcohol was a result of not understanding my own nature.

I am a 'highly sensitive person' and as such, the stimulus that I experience on a daily basis is generally amplified and deeper than the average person. In other words, I get more easily overwhelmed by the world.

If I don't take the time every day to meditate, unwind and spend time inwardly in stillness and silence, the stimulus of the world builds up and eventually I unravel, with disastrous consequences for my health and state of being. I didn't realize this for a very long time, so I used alcohol as a means to deaden the senses and quieten the mind. Obviously though, as you know, this technique was not a good one, as the alcohol only makes me sicker and the true need goes unfulfilled.

The truth can set you free my friend, the truth can set you free. :D

Good to meet you.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby anjaanja » Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:11 pm

Dear caihong and David,
I`m so happy about your really nice replies! Thanks!!! :D
I´m going to talk back to your, but I´m need a moment because I have to translate it in calm :?:
(It`s my first time that I talk around the world, it`s a wonderful experience for me!)
Answer soon.
Have a good day :-)!!!
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby anjaanja » Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:14 pm

Hey CaiHong,
I believe I can see your point :) : You needed a more radical way I understood?
I can image that. Everybody is different to the other people, therefore each alcoholic has his own way to go out of the addiction, isn`t it so?
In germany we have a very good support net, a lot of public helpdesks in each town and country, a lot of clinics for detox and dehabitation, the AAs and other self help grpoups and support online-groups. But all of them use almost only the "radical" way. Not more. Yes, I needed that! I got the feeling not to be alone and aloof. Now I´m surround of fellow alcoholics.
But I would more...
...I would find the real root of MY addiction. Therefore I have read ET. And will busy myself with the "Natural rest for addiction".
I could say, I´m going your way backwards ;-)? From radical to ET.
But my goal is the same, I think: To have the feeling of choice and to feel, alc doesn`t make a sense.

Good day for you :-)
from Berlin
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby anjaanja » Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:36 pm

Hey David,
good to meet you to :D !

I think, my "wish-way" resembles your way, I can suspect that, can feel it. That is the next level for me :) on my addiction-way. Therefore I let send me form the USA the book of Scott Kilobyt. The "Natural rest of addiction" seems to can help me in my spiritual growth.
I see your point: I think I´m not so sensitive like you, my problem was my moved mind. My mind was me... I considered, considered, tought...around me and in myself I saw problems more and more...
Now I´m here so often I rember to be here on a day. Like you I´m going inwards, to no mind.
And the more I take such moments the fewer I think to alcohol as a big problem.
That is wonderful for me!
How is it to you? Do you have toughts about alcohol yet?

hearty regards
from Berlin
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby DavidB » Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:32 pm

According to current research, less than 20% of people fall into the HSP (highly sensitive person) category. I try to make a point of mentioning it as often as possible whenever appropriate, as if I'd known this for myself many years ago, it could have saved me a whole lot of unnecessary suffering. And helping people to find better avenues to learning other than suffering, is one of the reasons we are all here helping.

If I understand you correctly then, that identifying with the mind is a sure way to advanced suffering, and part of that is to obsess over characteristics about self and to become self conscious. And the more we experience and the greater our history, the more there is to identify with and obsess over and to cause more suffering.

I'm the same as you in that regard, that I had mistakenly identified with my thoughts, become identified with my mind and the fictional self it creates. The thoughts were extremely critical, self doubting and hateful. I definitely fell within the category of one of those people that "could not stand living with myself". There had to be a better way of living, which is what begun my search for the end of suffering. Ironically then, it was the suffering which was the catalyst for change.

Alcohol played a large part in my life for many years, I thought I could not live without it. The funny thing is, alcohol addiction is self destructive, while giving the impression that it is a wonderful and trusted friend. That's the nature of addiction though, we think that this thing we are addicted to is a wonderful friend, while in reality it is killing us both physically and spiritually. We have this affair with our addictions, attempting to maintain the fantasy that we can somehow peacefully co-exist with the very thing that is destroying us. Of course though, as you know, this is delusional.

Peace. :)
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby anjaanja » Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:10 am

Dear David,
I haven`t forgot answering to you. Thanks, thanks at this place :-)!
I was and I am very busy in reading, translating, recogniszing and feeling the book (by Scott Kiloby) "Natural rest for addiction". It fills my live, my days, my hours...
At first I tought to much about ;-)...
But now, al is getting easier...
Therefore I can not write a lot at the moment, I´m sorry.
But later ;-)!
Enjoy your free life!
Anja from Berlin
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby anjaanja » Wed Mar 11, 2015 11:14 am

DEAR kiki,
your advice was so important for me!
I have read and felt the book "Natural rest for addiction". The ideas and exercises of the book came at right time for me... I can live that more and more. I´m beeing well!!!!
Thousand thanks!
Anja from Berlin
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby kiki » Wed Mar 11, 2015 3:47 pm

Thanks for the update, anjaanja. I am glad to hear of your progress and that you are maintaining your recovery.

Auf Wiedersehen,
kiki
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby CaiHong » Thu Mar 12, 2015 3:41 am

Hi Anajaanja,
Good to see you still posting and have found something to help you understand your addiction.

David I read your post with great interest, to be honest when someone says they are a highly sensitive person I think w----- but when you went on to explain further, in context with your reliance on alcohol at a stage in your life, I started to listen.

When I first went to a doctor many years ago, concerned about my drinking, he told me curtly that I couldn't handle stress and that was that, I resented his diagnosis and thought it's far more complicated than that and why is it other people can deal with the strains and stresses of life why can't I get fixed so I can deal with life. Your post really gave me a valuable insight or brought forward what I knew to be true.

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Re: I`m glad...

Postby DavidB » Thu Mar 12, 2015 11:06 am

Hello CaiHong,

Thanks for your reply. :)

For many years I had come across the term "Highly Sensitive Person", but had not given it any real consideration, as I fobbed it off as not worthy of my attention. I thought, I'm not a HSP anyway, as this would mean that I'm weak, flaccid, emotionally unstable, not things my ego felt comfortable with.

Recently though, I watched a video https://youtu.be/FQLBnUBKggY , which completely changed my perception of the HSP. Far from being a weakness, High Sensitivity can be an advantage and an asset, when the HSP is properly supported and encouraged to blossom. Given the proper environment, the HSP excels. Unfortunately though, many HSP's don't have the benefit of HSP parents, which means they don't get the support that they need. Schools are also predominantly non-HSP. This invariably results in the HSP becoming poorly developed and dysfunctional, suffering from poor self image, confusion, depression, anxiety and even substance abuse, as they struggle to survive in a world that is hostile to the HSP, dominated by the 80% non-HSP's.

The more you learn about the HSP, the more everything makes sense. :wink:
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: I`m glad...

Postby CaiHong » Fri Mar 13, 2015 3:31 am

Hi David,

After I posted I was worried I may have offended you, you being highly sensitive and all LOL. I started watching the YouTube link, to be honest it didn't grab my attention. A psychotherapist once pointed out to my friend that I was good at reading people and saying what I thought they would like to hear or entertain them. I am not sure if the term people pleaser is really valid, In fact I am questioning this term on another forum, a recovery forum. What I am going through now is something I would like to discuss. I have gone from an overexcited labrador pup to someone who doesn't to overly seem to care about people, it's not indifference. When my ego is operating at full tilt, I am much more aware of it as I am aware of it in others and I do look for the part my ego is playing in this. Is the behavior that the other person presents the same behaviour in me. I feel I am a much nicer and a genuinely more generous soul than the so called people pleaser, I mean really who was I trying to please other than myself.

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