Welcome to the board 992. I loved your introduction - Northern Italy
I get several feelings from the environment around me, but (probably when I'm not present enough) I tend to feel a lot of negative stuff (i.p. fear, loneliness and anxiety). These feelings tend to overcome my rationality and make me afraid that actually such intense anxieties will actually materialize my worst fears (this has sometimes happened already, though actually I got over it and it actually made me probably more cool with myself).
These feelings have been reducing since I read "The Power of Now" (I began practicing some months ago), but they still have a place inside me.
I would love to know whether this is happening for others, and how to deal with these "negative expectations". Sometimes they're just too much for me..
ET has a quote that says something like if you are are asking the question - how do I know that my experience is good for my growth? The answer is... Because it is the experience that I'm having.
That might sound confusing at first - but look at what you wrote - what you thought, what you feared, happened - you grew with it, and it has been a (okay scary but...) benefit in your growth.
That's the sort of 'faith' that you can have - even when you're scared to crap, hang on for the ride
Have a look at your judgement of what is 'too much for me' - so sure it would be easier if some of these things didn't happen --- but, would you grow in awareness?
My Granny used to say 'Your back was made for your burden.' I used to argue with her - 'But Granny, I'm only little!" (surely these experiences were meant for someone stronger, wiser, more willing than little me.)
But now I think I understand it more, through our trials, through our troubles, through facing our fears we grow. We grow in wisdom, we grow in courage, we grow in faith - we grow into - we grow with - we grow to carry with grace - that which feels like hardship at the beginning.
Think of someone you are inspired by - is it because they had an easy life, or because they grew to carry their burdens, their experiences, their disappointments, with faith and grace?
Now think of yourself - after facing your fears - it was growth in awareness, grace, courage and wisdom that made you feel 'more cool' with yourself.
I hope that makes sense 992. When we stop fearing our fears and putting all of our attention to them, we can see the beauty that surrounds us, and is within us.