A significant year ... Panic anxiety to NOW

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A significant year ... Panic anxiety to NOW

Post by beaches+1 » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:43 am

65 yrs old man, in my second marriage, with 17 yr old daughter, I started coming down with chronic panic and generalized anxiety disorder in the spring. In the past few years I had experienced panic attacks whenever I got ill with flu or bronchitis. Although I used to have asthma as a child, the panic seemed to be connected with some kind of abandonment feelings and fear of death... Now I couldn't shake it; I was having panic every day multiple times a day.
I had had some ongoing counseling regarding substance abuse, and marriage counseling, but shunning pharmaceutical "help" I did seek out psychologists with no real help.
Without going into the mechanics of panic attacks and anxiety, I did find some real relief in a system called Panic Away which system actually pointed to what I learned from ET later, about how to transform, transmute pain body energies.
One day I was perusing a PanicAway forum, learning how some of these folks had become more "whole" by learning to accept, and transform these scary energies. One forum member quoted some of the last chapter of ET's PON and also the Pain Body chapter regarding the alchemy that can occur through acceptance and bringing awareness to negative energies.
From there it was like the anxiety system was a direct stepping stone to ET's sort of... "let me introduce you to yourself" and which "self" is the real one? teaching. Thank you! Panic member!
I realize that ET's "I couldn't stand living with myself" self talk that made him question who was talking to whom, was a more extreme situation than mine but definitely distress is what so many have found has led to our spiritual opening up.
My wife has marveled at how I've changed, and although I do feel a need to keep focusing on "pointers" daily; I'm constantly in the ET books and audios, I have made progress.
No more panic, and a way of clearing that chronic low level anxiety, depression that too often greats my mornings with the power or Now...

I feel like I've made a definite turn in the fork in the road of my story, one that now has a chance of unfolding from fresh inspiration and creativity, as opposed to being another victim of belief in ego... an "ego believer" as Byron Katie says about sufferers.

ET did say to one questioner about being so dependent on his books and words, don't get addicted... I think some of us need more reminding, and at some point I feel there will be more experiential progress for me, putting things to the test so to speak, and I do remain very very grateful.

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Re: A significant year ... Panic anxiety to NOW

Post by smiileyjen101 » Fri Jan 01, 2016 5:02 am

lovely introduction beaches+1

Gratitude is one of the finest expressions of energy and an absolute antidote to fear.

Welcome to the board :) I look forward to your contributions.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen

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Re: A significant year ... Panic anxiety to NOW

Post by DavidB » Mon Jan 04, 2016 9:22 am

Welcome and thanks for sharing.

I had panic attacks and generalized anxiety many years ago now.

I think for myself, what finally contributed to going beyond panic and anxiety was the realization that existential anxiety was one side of the coin, one perspective. The other side being existential joy. It was all dependent upon perspective and context. Joy though being of course our natural state of being and anxiety being a kind of perversion.

And of course, panic is almost entirely emotion based, a product of the pain body. The mind suddenly and abruptly confronts emptiness and nothingness for example, perceives it as an infinite abyss and/or annihilation, freaks out and goes into a kind of meltdown. Very unpleasant to say the least, but ultimately a window to liberation. :D

In the face of annihilation, the ego has nothing left to hang on to.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Re: A significant year ... Panic anxiety to NOW

Post by beaches+1 » Wed Jan 06, 2016 9:30 pm

Lovely replies both...
Davidb, yes panic is emotion based; I see that now, and how would the ego, the self, mind/body see nothingness as any other than a threat; at least until we transform that fear, and gain better perspective on it.
I still have a low level anxiety mostly every morning, and for a while going to bed at night was always an adventure of the kind I don't like; mind wondering "will i get to sleep?" "will I freak with emotion and jump out of bed even tired?"
Laying down in the dark meant facing my mind again without any distractions... come to think of it, for many years my practice was to go to bed a daydream of a perfect life; I fantasized many a perfect lifetime for myself and it became like an escape.
This shows me how thought dependent and addictive was my whole life; all the while going through 65 years of experiences.
Thank goodness for the timeless self.

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