Its interesting to think back how i discovered Eckhart Tolle, from suffering and seemingly stupid action in that time arised something which is changing my life in every moment.
In the time when i didnt know E.T i wanted to know more about psychological me, why is my mind the way it is, why do i act like this and that.
So i went to a "zero" class psychological school for one year, dating one girl at the time.
As always i flanked the school (not learning very much, but visiting it) even when i paid for it.
Once i took my friend to lecture and as we were going to take a place he randomly said Hi to one of the girls.
Girl turned around and said Hi to me, not realizing it was him who greeted her. (just fun situation)
Thats how new friendship was created.
In the end of the school i broke up with the girl i was dating and i was really sad and down and as i talked
to the girl i met in school about it, she recommended me E.T power of now. (another fun thing is that she didnt read it)
I downloaded audio book and listened...
You are not the thought, whoa, sudden realization. I was amazed by such simple statement, it made so much sense. (i still thought that when i think about object, its not a thought, but when i was talking to myself i recognized it as thought)
My mind though got stuck for awhile in the Ego part of the book as it thought it becomes some kind of cult which tells you to act peacefuly etc...
But later on i got past it and more and more realization came to me.
Then i tried to listen to New Earth, stuck again...
After a while i became unconscious little worm again
started smoking again, i still didnt realize its power fully. (lasted for 8 months)
4 months back i was angry at my life, stopped smoking, applied stay present with the feeling when urge came, which i must say to this day worked and i have almost zero cravings and i barely think about it. (half pack a day for 4 years)
I came back to E.T i started to listen to him again, i dissolved much more of "my stuff" and i realized what the pointers point to in the deeper sense.
Im still acting sometimes on the old conditioning, but i realize it much more and become more present/aware of it.
My mind still after some situations is trying to make a story about it, it likes very much to be hurt, so much that it tries to convince me that when i feel sorry for myself
and create my "hurt" personality its going to fix everything. That when im gonna act bitter to the person, because this and that happened in the past, it is going to
make things right and he is going to listen to me and be sorry or what ever. Just a mind story.
So it seems thats it, i just wanted to share this with you, maybe something will be interesting to read and thanks for reading