Hi from Belgium

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by Sighclone » Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:27 am

Sounds like a real shift to me...I was pretty giddy for a couple of months...
Slowly the mind will begin to grasp that it is not really the final authority, and continue to function "normally." (That is to say that ideas will continue to pass through it, that it will still be there for study and solving problems and paying rent and taxes and so forth.) Full integration of a big kensho takes a while... and that is ok!

A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:36 pm

Hi Andy, thank you, giddy is the word ...
It may seem overwhelming
There are moments and they are of such "clarity" it's clear these are "pre-cursors".
There are moments of the extreme opposite, and they have been dragging and dragging "down"

No, this is not what happens, it only seems like this, this story making its own story "important" again and "true".
I can not see the glitch in it anymore ... I NEED this story to survive (pay taxes and be unhappy in the job, for example) ...


There has to be writing, even if it does not come near, it shines through in writing even if only this tiny bit, but not at all in this state of urgency the ego is constantly suggesting. Just when things were like "calming down" in the enormous Power of being ... It did not take long for the mind to make clear that I was going to die. Really :? Not the ego, but this body, this Life, it would soon end. What was I doing?? Giving up my job, my "security, my whole life ...

It has gone so far ... it is going in extremes and really, it just is / stays / getting more and more confusing, it is the most confusing period ever, lost it, never ever is something been this scary and liberating and something in between. Compared to having no obligations and being at ease, the constant "need" which is of course not true, but how to escape, the need to pay taxes indeed ...

It seems the last few days, ego gets his job done and scares the shit out of me again.
Like even it is prohibiting me to "be" just (not) that ... you know
Of course it is just more "comfortable" to live in pain and fear again

Should there just be unhappiness and pain and yes this good decent paycheck and should I just take this shit again, tell myself another story and live at 5% of the possibilities or even less. Just because of fear fear fear that is a lie

I feel so little so alone so confused so down

I need this silence, but fear fear fear ...
Now I've seen the REAL peace and "glory" of just being, I feel even more like a "dumb f!çè'" not to choose for that, even if I can not choose.
It even seems impossible to live like that, again, fear fear fear and I believe this fear again

Maybe I wish I had never had this "re-discovered", this Truth the world seems not ready for, and "me" neither ?????


What the hell happened

Self pity happened but how

I know all the answers are here and there are no answers and there is no help even no help needed
but aaaargghh I feel really ill, just insane again

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by turiya » Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:17 am

SpaBlauw33 wrote:just insane again
...just Mind again. :wink:

Here's a fun video I enjoyed watching recently:

“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by SpaBlauw33 » Sun Feb 18, 2018 5:55 pm

Check! Hehe thanks a lot turiya!

What kind of a ramble shamble was all this :lol:
Me myself and I
like fish on the dry

"Better" now, since there is not much left to say.
Greeting Stillness in daily life.

This self inquiry, hollowing out Advaita, it is (perfect)! Never can it get where it already is. Just the heart... Meditative state. Ready for the next rambles and shambles?

It's a good moment to wrap up this "introduction".
Thank you all - for the rescue-attempts - and your loving presence here :wink:

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Re: Hi from Belgium

Post by Up2p » Tue Jul 09, 2019 7:15 pm

Hey there. I have been there - depression I mean - and it’s tough. Love to get in touch with you. In case Dutch is easier feel free :-). Although Your English is perfect no need to worry about that....

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