I'm Mark. I live in a small village in the United Kingdom. I grew up in a large city called Manchester and have moved around a bit. I came to this forum trying to understand a recent temporary awakening I had several weeks ago which seems to have crumbled my internal construct of reality. I've had multiple smaller episodes of awakening since.
I been enjoying silence since and a deep sense of inner joy but feel very disconnected from humankind at large.
Salutations and kindness...
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Welcome to the forum, NuanceOfSuchness. It would be helpful if you provided some additional detail.
kiki
kiki
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
---
---
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Hi, Mark
Thanks for sharing.
How did this temporary awakening come about for you? (Where were you at the time? What were you doing? What did you think, feel, and experience when it happened?)
Did you just start feeling disconnected from people after the awakening?... Or is this a feeling you've always had?
(Sorry about all the questions... Hope it doesn't feel like some sort of Inquisition. lol)
Thanks for sharing.
How did this temporary awakening come about for you? (Where were you at the time? What were you doing? What did you think, feel, and experience when it happened?)
Did you just start feeling disconnected from people after the awakening?... Or is this a feeling you've always had?
(Sorry about all the questions... Hope it doesn't feel like some sort of Inquisition. lol)
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei
-
NuanceOfSuchness
- Posts: 65
- Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:35 pm
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Hello Kiki and turiya.
Turiya, we had a very brief introduction on a different post in which I spoke about my feeling lost.
The temporary awakening was devoid of any kind of grand entrance. I was out with my 7 year old who was playing. It seemed to happen whilst I was looking at the foliage in the park. It begin to have depth and I found it very enticing. The plantation took on a whole new aliveness. This was when I sensed an undertone that something had shifted in my consciousness. My thoughts no longer existed. Instead, they were replaced by a deep intuitive 'knowing' about the things I observed in my environment. Nothing seemed to matter because everything had a relationship through a very odd unification. When I looked at people a knowing arose in me of their discontentment but at the very same time I could recognise their immense potential. From the fusion of those two seeming poles grew a deep and warm compassion for human beings. Quite a beautiful way to view people!
This continued for hours so you can imagine the frequency and degree of intuitive insight I received. I came home 4 hours later with it but I cannot determine if it continued at home as I just sat in complete silence which, in itself, was pleasurable.
The next day my thinking mind had returned. It created great suffering. I remember feeling like I was going crazy. I felt very holy and sacred but I knew it was an inauthentic way of being so I meditated a lot during that particular week which seemed to help bring me back to reality; not the reality I had previously known though but strangely dystopian - which harbours some degree of truth, a large dose of disconnection and a lost feeling.
Since then my inner mental construct of reality has continued to erode. I've simplified my relationship to material objects. My relationship with people has more warmth. When I see or speak with people I sometimes see past their physical form and into something within them that I can't define. I've been entering into episodes of darkness but not depression. I've been having lots of smaller awakenings since. I recall one moment where I was walking through the shopping centre and i heard part of a conversation, the content of which seemed meaningless and trivial but it thrust me into an awakened state for a few minutes.
Turiya, we had a very brief introduction on a different post in which I spoke about my feeling lost.
The temporary awakening was devoid of any kind of grand entrance. I was out with my 7 year old who was playing. It seemed to happen whilst I was looking at the foliage in the park. It begin to have depth and I found it very enticing. The plantation took on a whole new aliveness. This was when I sensed an undertone that something had shifted in my consciousness. My thoughts no longer existed. Instead, they were replaced by a deep intuitive 'knowing' about the things I observed in my environment. Nothing seemed to matter because everything had a relationship through a very odd unification. When I looked at people a knowing arose in me of their discontentment but at the very same time I could recognise their immense potential. From the fusion of those two seeming poles grew a deep and warm compassion for human beings. Quite a beautiful way to view people!
This continued for hours so you can imagine the frequency and degree of intuitive insight I received. I came home 4 hours later with it but I cannot determine if it continued at home as I just sat in complete silence which, in itself, was pleasurable.
The next day my thinking mind had returned. It created great suffering. I remember feeling like I was going crazy. I felt very holy and sacred but I knew it was an inauthentic way of being so I meditated a lot during that particular week which seemed to help bring me back to reality; not the reality I had previously known though but strangely dystopian - which harbours some degree of truth, a large dose of disconnection and a lost feeling.
Since then my inner mental construct of reality has continued to erode. I've simplified my relationship to material objects. My relationship with people has more warmth. When I see or speak with people I sometimes see past their physical form and into something within them that I can't define. I've been entering into episodes of darkness but not depression. I've been having lots of smaller awakenings since. I recall one moment where I was walking through the shopping centre and i heard part of a conversation, the content of which seemed meaningless and trivial but it thrust me into an awakened state for a few minutes.
Re: Salutations and kindness...
NuanceOfSuchness wrote:Nothing seemed to matter because everything had a relationship through a very odd unification. When I looked at people a knowing arose in me of their discontentment but at the very same time I could recognise their immense potential. From the fusion of those two seeming poles grew a deep and warm compassion for human beings. Quite a beautiful way to view people!
Very beautiful!NuanceOfSuchness wrote: My relationship with people has more warmth. When I see or speak with people I sometimes see past their physical form and into something within them that I can't define.
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Sup and welcome Mark, it has been fun exchanging words with you.
Your gaseous meditation post was hilarious
Curious - which village in the UK ?
Your gaseous meditation post was hilarious
Curious - which village in the UK ?
-
NuanceOfSuchness
- Posts: 65
- Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:35 pm
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Thank you Jukai. It's called Point Clear on the very South coast.jukai wrote:Sup and welcome Mark, it has been fun exchanging words with you.
Your gaseous meditation post was hilarious
Curious - which village in the UK ?
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Welcome, and thank you for sharing your experiences.
How have things been unfolding for you since the experiences you described?
How have things been unfolding for you since the experiences you described?
"Be sincere; don't ask questions out of mere interest. Ask dangerous questions—the ones whose answers could change your life."
-
NuanceOfSuchness
- Posts: 65
- Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2018 12:35 pm
Re: Salutations and kindness...
Hello erict!
Yes. Things have been tapering off for me. The small wakeful states are becoming less and I seem to be losing the inner depth and the dark periods. There's a few things that have remained like the lifestyle changes and an inner calm that seems to be there most of the time but I found with the inner calm I have to go there which just involves noticing the entirety of my body.
My Buddhist teacher had explained to me that what I experienced seemed like a second Jhana which is usually experienced in meditation but sometimes outside of meditation. Having read the description of the second jhana it marries pretty well especially with the complete absence of thought. The jhanas are a model of knowing where in meditation you may be but I don't think they are linear and experiences can differ between individuals. I try not to fix myself to model itself though.