Dianne

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Dianne

Postby DiannaLee » Sat Sep 10, 2005 8:34 pm

Hi Everybody,

I am so glad to find this board. I live in S.E. Texas and find very few people to talk to about Tolle, etc. I grew up on Long Island, read some Krishnamurti books in my late teens and although I was very afraid, confused, dysfunctional, lost and doing drugs I began to find a miraculouly transforming inner peace and understanding. When I lost this path I had found and could not find it (I picked up the book several times that had earlier given me such insight, read a little, got frustrated and gave up). I turned back to drugs and alcohol and continued on that destructive path for many years. I was dead inside, except for tremendous fear and enjoyed very little other than drugs. I would pick up a Krishnamurti book every few years but the words no longer made sense to me. A couple of years ago I read an interview with Eckhart Tolle in the "Sun" magazine and felt a spark of life inside of me that I had not felt in a long time. I read 'The Power Of Now' and for a few weeks felt like I was alive again but the feeling soon faded. About a year and a half ago I decided to quit doing drugs and alcohol and again began reading Tolle and Krishnamurti only to find I mostly couldn't comprehend what they said or else I would understand briefly and then lose that understanding. Little by little as my self-awareness is increasing I am seeing and understanding more and more. I am still very much identified with my mind and find it extremely difficult to remain present but I have brief moments of being present and moments of great peace that I have not felt in 25 years. I am back on a path I lost so many years ago and I am very grateful for that.

Dianne
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Postby kiki » Sat Sep 10, 2005 9:34 pm

Hello Dianne, and welcome to the board.

May I suggest you read PON as well as Stillness Speaks. Understand what you can but don't trouble yourself if it takes a while to grasp the concepts. Understanding the concepts, although helpful, are not necessary to experience being, the core reality beneath your idea of who you are, and it is the experience of being/presence/now that is critical.

Direct experience of one's being in a conscious way is better than understanding. In this regard, you may find it more helpful to listen to the audio version of both of his books. I especially recommend the audio version of Stillness Speaks because each short entry/point that ET reads is followed by a pause which enables the listener to quite spontaneously fall awake. Listen not for the sake of understanding but to allow mental activity to settle down within the verbal pauses. So, listen to the words, and then simply rest when ET pauses and don't fret about trying to figure out what his words mean. I'd check out your library to see if they have the audio versions if you don't have the money to buy them.

Relax into it more and more deeply, and be gentle with yourself no matter what arises within your mind - if your mind wanders then simply bring it back to the present moment, no muss or fuss about it. What you will find is that at some point you will realize you are just listening to the words without mental comment, and just resting and not thinking about anything when the pause comes, yet there is full wakefulness. This clarity of awareness is what you actually are - it is here, now, always, in every circumstance but now it is being seen. Once seen in this way it becomes more evident in other circumstances as well.

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Postby lakeswimr » Sun Sep 11, 2005 9:47 pm

I also like the Gateways to Now CD for experiencing presence. :)

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Postby DiannaLee » Mon Sep 12, 2005 3:38 am

Thank you Kiki for your welcome and your input. I will get Stillness Speaks. You mentioned PON, do you mean The Power Of Now?

Thank you also Lakeswimr. I will look for the Gatways CD
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Postby kiki » Mon Sep 12, 2005 9:18 pm

Yes - PON is Power of Now
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