The Power of Now and Me

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The Power of Now and Me

Postby Barbara » Mon Dec 27, 2004 6:34 am

I was introduced to a "The Power of Now" through the Robin Sharma Monthly Coach program. This is what I wrote in that forum.

As you will read, I was and am very affected by "The Power of Now" and hope to deepen my internalization of its material by enjoying discussing it with you all too.

The following is what I wrote. Please advice or share.


I saw previous messages about the "Practicing the Power of Now" book that you all read. I was new to the Monthly coach at the time. After seeing your messages, I bought that book and two others by the same author. Here are their effect on me.

Saturday morning.

I am writing this while five 10 year old girls have breakfast. This is my daughter’s second 10-year old birthday party. The first one was for the whole class at the video arcade. My daughter made most of it, and they are spilling all over. While I write, I am giving directions about where the broom and the paper towels are. It’s OK. They are happy, I am writing, my husband is playing lawn bowls. My older daughter is sleeping.

After a long while, 8-10 months, of reading and re-reading all Robin Sharma’s’ books, and listening a re-listening to his audio material and one seminar with him, I have started about two months ago with the three “The Power of Now” books by Eckhart Tolle. I’ve read all three and two twice and am now listening to the CDs in the car on the way to work and clients.

The lessons are not easy. But all that I have learned and evolved and all the transformations that I have gone through with the Sharma material made me ready for this next stage and made me able and ready to understand and adopt this material.

I wouldn’t have been anywhere near this stage of readiness or able to hear its messages if I hadn’t had the initial step enabled by Robin’s material. As he said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” (hopefully quoted correctly from memory).

My next step is probably Deepak Chopra whose books just arrived in the mail from Amazon and which I started reading yesterday. They seem a bit magical. I am not totally getting it yet, but we will see.

But back to the Now:

BEING: Feeling the world, the consciousness, the “ME” which is beneath the doing, the talking, the mind chatter. 98% of our thoughts are repetitious and tedious and a lot of mine are not pleasant, the past, the worry of the future, conjured up scenarios of what could, should happen, dreams of something “else”. “Else”, “other”, “different”, non-acceptance of “what is” and the “now”.

ACCEPTING WHAT IS: accepting what is. It is. Looking at it with wonder and with innocence (Lesson 2 from Deepak Chopra). No being busy with, “it shouldn’t be” and “I don’t like it” and “I am going to tell so and so about that ...

EGO: Built in order to create an identity, a ME that is different and in conflict with others. A me, that is compared and found superior or inferior to others. A me, that makes others wrong so that I am right. A me, that makes me the victim and thus right.

I have benefited and am on my journey of transformation. I have made some progress in all of the following, but still need to go a long way. My writing about it is part a description of the traveling that I have done in this direction, but is mostly a declaration of my dedication to continuing in this direction. I think that a public statement reinforces intentions. I still count this as a public statement even though I am doing it in a very safe place (I may never meet any of you), even though I would like to. The fact that I am writing it, means something to me and the fact that I am pressing the “Post message” button, means I can’t take it back and someone or someone(s) will see it. It also hangs around there on the community board for people or me to look at for while.

Accepting my husband: I am more accepting of my husband. I am less busy being right. He is still very into that. It is more OK now. He is good in that he is much more into being than me. I am/was/am/was a doer. “Make it happen” it my motto. I am not peaceful enough in my own skin, always doing. He is happy to be in the same room or house as me, while I don’t feel that we are “together” unless we are actually talking to each other or doing something together. I kept telling him that this doesn’t “count” as being together if he is looking at the computer or watching TV which he loves to do. Of course, this isn’t the only thing we do together, but my statement of “this doesn’t count”, is not letting me feel him as I could. He is happy to go to the beach and sit there all day. I am too, but I can settle down a bit more.

I am now going to start trying to accept my Mother more. For me, I particularly criticize, in my mind and sometimes to her, the traits that I have/had/am working on also. Especially, her way of judging anything and everything (usually negatively). This is her, this is what is. My parents love food. They are obsessed with it. I will stop making fun of them in my mind.

Communicating with Humans: I am speaking more slowly to people. Yes, I love computers and machines, yes I run a high tech firm, but humans communicate differently. I am building my ego, by saying things that are technically correct, and if analyzed on paper should be understood, but are not understood, because:
*either I said it too quickly
*I didn’t give the context of the question
*people try to interpret what I say according to what they know, even when I say it technically correct, they understand it differently

So I am stopping the superiority act.

I have been having this same problem for years with a variety of people. I have to accept that this is humanity. My ego is all built into this story showing how I a superior. But it doesn’t do my any good, I get frustrated with this.

I should say” Hi! I am on the phone with a customer now. I need a simple, quick answer. You know the ABC book you have been working on, the one with the xyz. I need to know if we can send in only chapter 6 to the customer. He says he needs it now. Did you finish it?

I strongly recommend “The Power of Now” books and audio material for anyone who feels controlled by their mind, is a worrier or who would just like to enjoy the wonder of being more.

All the little girls went into my daughter’s room now. Only minimal disaster is left in the kitchen. Bye!


A life of purpose is the purpose of life.

Sincerely,

Barbara Sher
Barbara
 

Postby heidi » Mon Dec 27, 2004 4:56 pm

Hi Barbara - Thanks for the inroduction and sharing bits of your journey. I like how you describe what's going on in terms of the ongoing process because, indeed, that is what we really are - the process.

I, too, deal with much of the same stuff you mention - learning how to deal with judgement from all sides especially from within. And revealing that familial pain body for what it is, and letting it go.

Glad you've joined us here.
Heidi
http://www.heidimayo.com
wonderment on the third wave
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Postby Jim » Tue Dec 28, 2004 5:12 pm

Hi Barbara,

Thanks for sharing.
One thing you touched upon..., communication with people (in person), I have found to be very interesting. One might say that I am in the people buisness, as I'm sure we all are in some way. I've been a contractor for a long time and am always dealing with new people. Yet, unlike some professions such as the health industry, people come to me in a positive way. They share thier visions and dreams that I may bring them to their lives.
But what I find interesting, is how we must come to their level... to truly communicate. I can be driving them (with Eckhart or another) in the cd player... and be fully in the moment and filled with joy, yet the moment I meet with them... shake hands... introduce ourselves..., I know I must focus on their expression fully. To "get" what they are saying, I must bring my energy in full focus with them.
I am truly fasinated on how wonderful most people are. It is as if, by me making the conscious effort to join with them, they too make an effort to join in communication. And as we all know, communication has more to do with listening than talking. And rather than trying to get our point across, we briefly let go of our personal point, and then when we listen with love in our eyes..., it's as if we both are lifted thru our communication to a light hearted place of laughter and such.
Sorry for rambling on...
All is well,
Jim
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Postby Guest » Wed Dec 29, 2004 6:37 am

Hi Jim,

What you are saying is very interesting (not rambling at all)!

I also deal with people (customers and employees) a lot (even though I am in the computer business).

I am great with the customers. With employees I am good, but could be much better. I have been aware and working on it for a year already. I have made some progress, and have a ways to go.

I realize that I have the problem with employees since, I take people educated in other professions and teach them a technical profession. I am known in my country as the best in the business, as an inspirational and fair boss where people learn the most, but a tough one.

Inside what I care about is the feeling I have when I talk to them. I on one hand know that the profession I teach and the way we work (contracting) is very difficult, on the other hand, I feel "poor me" why do I have to teach everything and no one can do it to the quality that is required without a few years (and some don't get there) of training.

This attitude does me no good internally and is not fair to them. They very are good people and are trying their best. Part of the problem is fear, since my customers are all very intelligent and discerning, I must train, monitor and QA everything to get the quality that keeps the name I have built all these years.

I know that your answer is the correct one. You speak of loving them and joining them in communication in a way that they can handle. Yes, this is right. Please write to me some advice on how I can internalize this feeling more.

Its me, its not them. I know that. I believe that this change of attitude will bring about the change in the way I feel and interact.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose,

Sincerely,
Barbara
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Postby Jim » Wed Dec 29, 2004 8:17 pm

Hi Barbara,

Thank you for sharing.
First..., I must confess that I am no teacher, but only in practice myself. So I will share what I can, and hope that it helps.
From what I 'get' from your reply, you are already on the path of solving this issue.
One thing I notice is that of expectation. When we place our expectation upon others..., we have created our first barrier. We must remember, that it is always about us... our perceptions, and not about "them". Someone once said..., "If we change the way we look and things, the things we look at change".
As you know, in communicating with others on a professional level, there are different layers of communication happening. On the surface, is the technical stuff. This goes without saying. But then there is the atmosphere or overall "feel" of the moment. Obviously, you know your business well and do not have to give much effort in offering this support. The technical stuff will come out in just the right way and at the right time if you just keep your focus on the atmosphere.
In truth, we have much more controll in the overall atmosphere than we may realize.
Humility is another wonderful way of closiing the gap in communication. Although we may not visibly recognize it, everyone has a special gift within them. With an open mind and heart, we may just catch a glimps of something that will make us smile.
Inerestingly..., how others receive our message has more to do with the atmosphere than with the words we use. Love is in the air all around us all the time... just waiting our recognition.
Hope this may be helpful,
Jim
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Postby Guest » Thu Dec 30, 2004 1:08 pm

You said:

The technical stuff will come out in just the right way and at the right time if you just keep your focus on the atmosphere.
In truth, we have much more control in the overall atmosphere than we may realize.
Humility is another wonderful way of closing the gap in communication. Although we may not visibly recognize it, everyone has a special gift within them. With an open mind and heart, we may just catch a glimpse of something that will make us smile.


I agree, I should concentrate on creating an atmosphere of respect and kindness and consideration while humbly recognizing the special gifts each person has, and always looking for the good side of every situation.

I am now trying to create a habit of looking for the good side in everything and feeling appreciation for everything. I am breaking an old and very ingrained habit. It may take a while, but I will make steps every day.

Thank you very much!

The purpose of life is a life of purpose,

Sincerely
Barbara
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