Meditation question

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Meditation question

Postby vera » Thu Mar 11, 2010 5:05 am

Someone sent me this link recently. http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Adyashantis-Meditation-Allowing-Everything-to-Be-As-It-Is

(hope that works!)


I did the meditation once and have since done it a couple of times on my own, following the same process but unguided.

I get to a point where everything is very still and I have let everything go. This last maybe a few seconds, I don’t know, but as I go deeper into ‘letting everything be as it is’ a tingling sensation begins. Now I should probably say that generally speaking I have troubles with tingling sensations - I experience similar sensations at night sometimes when I am in bed.

While meditating I try to let the sensation be as it is, but the deeper I go into that the more intense the tingling sensation becomes. It is extremely uncomfortable and eventually feelings of frustration come along and my mind begins to say “I want to stop this now, this is too hard.”

The best way to describe the feeling is like a build up of static energy that swells and swells until it feels like my body can’t contain it. It is maddening and there are feelings that if I sit with it I will go crazy, collapse or maybe even die. I know this is not the case but it is quite over powering and feels physically and psychologically threatening.

I just wonder how I should proceed as I don’t really know what I am doing but it feels somehow like a threshold I need to push through.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby karmarider » Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:29 am

This is great. Thanks for posting.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby vera » Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:11 am

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Re: Meditation question

Postby James » Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:48 pm

You are on the right track, but you don't need to "push through" or "go deeper" just allow everything to be as it is, including your resistance to allowing, allow your resistances and fears to happen as well. Going deeper may happen naturally or not, either is fine. There is no goal involved, allowing/welcoming is what you truly are (what presence does 24/7), not just for what you call periods of meditation. No need to force yourself to sit if you don't want to either, follow your own inclination and heart. It may help if you also inquire into that sense of "me" as a meditator as Adya suggests in the True Meditation recordings.

James
"Awareness is already present, already here, already now; before you try to be more.... In that recognition there's no effort, there's just acknowledgment"..."Awareness is not something you can understand, it's something you are."
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Re: Meditation question

Postby Quinn » Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:21 pm

I agree with James - no need to "push through". I do think, though, that sitting in meditation is a valuable tool for finding those "still spots". In cultures that value the intellect so highly (like mine and maybe yours), stillness is not something we're the least bit familiar with. So meditation can be very hard at first, but I think there's a huge value in staying with it.

My suggestion would be to start very slowly. 3 or 5 minutes at first. What I do is meditate until I don't want to anymore, and then go a little longer. I also like to observe why I don't want to - sleepy, uncomfortable, anxious...it can be all sorts of distractions. I just note the reason why, no judgments. And when I go a little longer, sometimes that distraction evaporates. And sometimes it doesn't! It doesn't really matter.

Another thing I do is a 'body scan'. I scan my body starting from the head (or the toes) and let out any muscle tension with the out-breath. I travel through the whole body doing this. This might dispel the tingling you're talking about - worth a try anyway because it feels so good. :)

And...one last suggestion. Have you tried walking meditation? There's probably some site on the net that has a detailed description of how to do it. I like to do it when I have that 'jumping out of my skin' sensation.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby vera » Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:17 am

Thank you, both. Your responses are very helpful.

I probably should have explained what the meditation involves, as it does focus on letting go of the meditator.

The reference to "going deeper" is used in the meditation - they're not my words as such. He talks about going deeper into letting go, letting everything be as it is, no trying or effort. It happens completely by itself and I am not doing anything to make it happen, it happens precisely because I am not doing anything. And there is definitely a sense of going deeper into that letting go - as is said in the meditation, there is almost no end to that depth. So this happens all by itself, but then there is a point where I hit this wall of static energy.

This energy is almost painful and becomes a distraction. My mind moves to it and asks "What is this about? When will it stop? I can't handle it anymore." etc.
It's a very hard thing to allow to be as it is as it a very, very strong not very pleasant physical sensation. I will, however, keep focusing on allowing it to be and see how I go.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby Quinn » Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:45 am

Oh, I probably should have first checked out the meditation you were referring to. But I don't really like guided meditations much - at this point, anyway.

So, if I understand, you feel that this "wall" you're hitting is like a 'clue' - like it's something you need to investigate and maybe understand a little better. Is that right? Or maybe more like a hurdle you need to overcome? Something the ego (maybe) is throwing at you to keep you from going deeper?
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Re: Meditation question

Postby randomguy » Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:48 am

> I hit this wall of static energy
> I experience similar sensations at night sometimes when I am in bed
> ...feels physically and psychologically threatening
> ...don’t really know what I am doing
> it feels somehow like a threshold I need to push through
> This energy is almost painful and becomes a distraction

Hi vera.
Do you have an impression of what it is about or in what way this energy is trying to help "you"?
I heard an Adya recording once where he described having a sort of conversation with his injured knee.
In stillness, does anything come when listening to it?
In my experience our thoughts and tension in the body are linked.
As we let everything be as it is, energetic shifts can occur as our body-mind lets go of conditioned tensions.
I echo the posts that caution against pushing or manipulating the experience.
I suggest sticking with the script of letting it be and inquire what it is about.
It sounds like a background energy that is present in relaxation regardless of meditation.
It is almost painful, but not quite? Is it more scary than painful?
It may become more familiar until trust about grows enough to welcome it and surrender expectations about it (which may send it on its way).
Or you may get the sense to continue to avoid it.
You are in the best position to feel it out.
I suggest trusting your intuition.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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Re: Meditation question

Postby James » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:11 am

Sounds good Vera

I would say just continue to be patient and gentle with yourself. There can be lot's of subtle traps such as allowing in order to get somewhere, achieve a state or experience, or to get rid of something, it happens to us all, at least everyone I have heard from. So keep allowing and welcoming, really welcome those uncomfortable feelings with curiosity like an explorer, befriend them.
"Awareness is already present, already here, already now; before you try to be more.... In that recognition there's no effort, there's just acknowledgment"..."Awareness is not something you can understand, it's something you are."
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Re: Meditation question

Postby vera » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:38 am

Quinn wrote:Something the ego (maybe) is throwing at you to keep you from going deeper?


I think maybe this is it. It's like it's trying to goad me into a battle with it. Probably because the whole point of the meditation is about giving up resistance it presents me with something that is distracting and makes me want to push back or give up. But I'm not toally sure.

James wrote:really welcome those uncomfortable feelings with curiosity like an explorer, befriend them


Thanks, James. I like this.

randomguy wrote:Do you have an impression of what it is about or in what way this energy is trying to help "you"?


I think maybe it's a resistance of some kind. It's mainly in the front of my body and in concentrates in my solar plexus area. It's like a big, whirling pool of burning energy that swells and swells. This is the part of my body where I physically experience anxiety and fear when I feel those things, so maybe it is somehting to do with that.

When the same sesation happens at night it concentrates in the same way but between my shoulder blades.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby James » Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:21 pm

Yes Vera it does sound like repressed emotional energy. In some cases there could be a physiological reason for the sensation, as in illness or injury, or a need to adjust your posture or take a break, lie down etc, whatever is needed. But when emotions/sensations are repressed for long periods of time, which is quite common for many people, then when they are released they initially can feel overwhelming. So that actually can be a good sign, but they may not unravel all at once, allowing/welcoming is not a once and done thing it is forever.

Can you give those feelings permission to exist forever? The secret is that they most likely won't last long once they aren't resisted, ignored or avoided (but who knows for sure), because all forms are temporary and transitory. "Spiritually minded people" can actually be very adept at avoiding or "bypassing" feelings, so initially it seems to require a lot of courage to face them. Paradoxically one needs to accept and embrace those feelings as though they can stay as long as they want or need to, with no timeframes, or the notion of this should or shouldn't be happening; the fact is it is happening, so go with the flow. Let it all be as it is... forever. Let Life live itself without interference.

Take Care

James
"Awareness is already present, already here, already now; before you try to be more.... In that recognition there's no effort, there's just acknowledgment"..."Awareness is not something you can understand, it's something you are."
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Re: Meditation question

Postby vera » Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:54 am

Well, I found that the feeling did subside after a while. I think from allowing it to be and becoming extremely familiar with it. I also notice that it comes and goes all the time, all through the day and not just at those times I said. During the day I just don't notice it as much as my mind is whirring and there are other mental distractions all around. It's an anxiety that flares up, a fight or flight feeling/resistance. Anyway, it's not as severe any more and has stopped being something troublesome.

I also had a really interesting dream after reflecting on all of this.

I was in charge of a large apartment building where chaos reigned supreme. There was constantly something horrible happening: people trying to murder each other and destroy everything around them. I was run ragged in my efforts to bring about peace and order – physically exhausted by the constant dashing around putting out metaphoric and literal fires, and emotionally exhausted from the hellishness of it all. Just when I would put a stop to one insane scenario, another would immediately arise. Eventually I collapsed on the stairs outside an apartment and started to cry. “It is hopeless. It will never end. There is nothing left for me to do but leave.” And then it occurred to me: “Hang on, why am I here in the first place?” I couldn’t remember. It wasn’t my home, it wasn’t something I was being paid to do…I couldn’t for the life of me recall why I was putting myself through all of this. So I walked down the stairs and turned the handle on the front door. I was a little bit scared about what would happen when I left but almost as soon as I stepped outside I was lifted up into the air. Or maybe not lifted, as it felt like it was something I was making happen but without trying. I floated along in the air above the heads of people in the street who looked up at me and smiled and waved. I shouted down to them “Come on, do it too! You can do it too!”

The interesting thing is that I have had many flying dreams before but it is always something I had to try hard to do. Then, when I was flying as soon as I started to think (“How is it possible I am flying?” “I hope I can keep this up!” “I bet it doesn’t last.” etc.) I would fall back down to the ground. In this dream I just knew there was absolutely no chance I was going to fall back down to the ground.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby Quinn » Wed Mar 17, 2010 1:28 pm

What a great dream! It's basically a re-cap of my first year after reading Tolle :) . After about ten major cries, I felt a lightness that would be hard to describe. I think you just described it.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby letitgo » Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:11 am

Hello Vera,

Wow! Your experience is very interesting. When I got down to the end of the thread, I was going to outline what to do with energies as you release them, and your dream pretty much said it all...

Energies aren't to be faced or forced or pushed through - that's playing right into their hands - that's the illusion they want you to believe. They, or your ego's attachment to their presence, want you to believe that there is "something" to do, a battle to fight, a problem to solve or a solution to be found. But as your dream showed, you didn't even need to be there, you could be somewhere else, you could just walk away, (or fly). It was the awareness of the possibility of "not even to be there" that allowed you to release rather than confront.

Take it from someone who fought the good "energetic" fight... for way too long... you have really taken a nice step here. I'm very happy that you were able to get the good advice you received and were able to take the high road - literally!

Sincerely, Norm
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
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Re: Meditation question

Postby vera » Thu Mar 18, 2010 10:55 am

Yes, Quinn, it's rare I have dreams where the meaning and symbolism is so clear - and that sense of lightness and delight after realising that I didn't have to associate with/take control of/be responsible for the madness and pain was very powerful.

letitgo wrote:Energies aren't to be faced or forced or pushed through - that's playing right into their hands - that's the illusion they want you to believe. They, or your ego's attachment to their presence, want you to believe that there is "something" to do, a battle to fight, a problem to solve or a solution to be found. But as your dream showed, you didn't even need to be there, you could be somewhere else, you could just walk away, (or fly). It was the awareness of the possibility of "not even to be there" that allowed you to release rather than confront.

Take it from someone who fought the good "energetic" fight... for way too long... you have really taken a nice step here. I'm very happy that you were able to get the good advice you received and were able to take the high road - literally!


Thanks, Norm :) It's funny how you can go along for quite a while, feeling like you intellectually know these things. You agree, you "understand", it feels like common sense. And yet at the same time you don't know it at all. You're still living in the insane world of your mind feeling like this ability to deal with uncomfortable energies, emotions, whatever, is out there somewhere. One day you'll find it, one day you'll get there. And to suddenly become aware that this is not a problem with a solution that exists out there somewhere, that the only problem is that you've decided it's a problem and you've claimed it as your own. That it's not anything you have to "deal with" at all.
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