Remote control

Remote control

Postby nowist prime » Sat Dec 31, 2011 3:45 am

Hello fellow travelers,

ADM talks about not giving the remote control to others so they dont dictate how you should feel or act in a given moment.

my question is how can this be done. i have watched all his vids and others about the ego but this part seems to still stay with me. I take offense real fast. How do i get to a place where what others say or do not effect me in anyway ie get remoted by others.

please advise,

thank you in advance.

Nowist
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Re: Remote control

Postby tod » Sat Dec 31, 2011 4:18 am

I find that if I hold any ideas about who/what I am, then when these ideas are considered threatened I (can) react.
I have found great relief in reducing the number of ideas I have about myself.
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Re: Remote control

Postby far_eastofwest » Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:46 am

Start at the other end....
how do you feel when you are praised or complimented?
be aware of how you get a boost from praise and compliments (sometimes they will have you feel good, other times you will see them for what they sometimes are, manipulation to get YOU to like THEM more).
Give yourself some self praise first in areas that you are 'real sensitive about'.
If its your looks, then have a good look, decide that 'thats me, thats the way i am and i am just fine'.
then you have made your own dvd to play.... when the 'you'd look better if you wore a blue shirt' comment comes along you can simply respond with 'do you think so' or 'i'm not really worried'.

So start playing your own dvd's - and not those ones that have you say things like 'i am smart', 'i am clever', 'i am funny' - whatever.... cos they are judgmental and reality is lots of very lovely caring wonderful people are neither smart, funny or clever!!!

It can work, and times when it doesn't, i say to myself (or if its someone close) "i've been Pinged!"
which means i've had a reaction (feeling upset) to a comment or situation that is based on some happening in the past that was similar and i didn't like.
Knowing i've been Pinged, i set myself aside somewhere for 5 - 10 minutes and do something else. It takes a few minutes to settle the physical reaction (heartbeat, cortisol levels etc) to an unexpected hurt - and these few minutes is the time when things can either settle down or escalate if the thoughts of how unfair/judgemental/wrong the other person is and over-reaction sets in.
There is nothing harder to find than a black cat in a dark room
Especially when there is no cat....
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Re: Remote control

Postby goldieflower » Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:10 pm

tod wrote:I find that if I hold any ideas about who/what I am, then when these ideas are considered threatened I (can) react.
I have found great relief in reducing the number of ideas I have about myself.


Same here, tod.

NP, each time the body reacts, whether it is from a perceived attack or a perceived delight, it can be a big finger that points back to the real "me," so everything is actually a pointer, these days - to goldie. Not using the reaction as a pointer, the mind carries on, continuing the fight, or lost in a daydream of delight, with "goldie" at the center.

It's the noticing that keeps growing, and so will the quickness in which you see it, then the quickness in which you let it all go. Don't let frustration enter when you realize you've "lost it again," but just be grateful that you "noticed it all again." The instant you notice it, you are at the threshold of Awareness.

At least this is what seems to be unfolding from this perspective. :)
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Re: Remote control

Postby hanss » Sat Dec 31, 2011 2:58 pm

goldieflower wrote:At least this is what seems to be unfolding from this perspective. :)

Same here.
"In today's rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being."
(Eckhart Tolle)
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Re: Remote control

Postby snowheight » Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:38 pm

hanss wrote:
goldieflower wrote:At least this is what seems to be unfolding from this perspective. :)

Same here.


yup'!
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
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Re: Remote control

Postby nowist prime » Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:18 am

thank you for your wonderful ideas. can you give me a trick or idea of what to do when it happens at the moment. i have allowed my mind to react this way for over 20 years now. i do see it but am helpless to stop it from taking offense.

hell, there are times when i take offense when someone drive a little diffeently on the highway. chances are, i am taking offense for no reason. if you had to scale this issue from 1 to 10, mine is 10. ten being the worst in taking offense.

mind you i may no show it, but i does linger iniside me.

here is where i want to be, where somone spits on my face and i dont take it offense. if this occured now, i would rip the persons head off. pleaese help me.
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