I feel that once we are complete as our true selves, there really is no NEED anymore for 'romance' to complete us as Merlin indicated. It's merely just enjoying this existence and more of an opportunity as TD and others have said all along to express our love fully in the form of just allowing whatever happens to happen. After all, that's all we are and all we can be.
This 'may' throw a spanner in the works. The notion of being 'complete as our true selves', is awry, in my timid and humble opinion. It ain't over till its over, and it ain't ever over! Not that anything's 'missing', just that its always evolving.
The 'dance' we do in romantic, perhaps also in other needs-based / experiential relating, for me has been a wonderful journey of illuminating untruths, things I believed to be true, by ignorance, projection or assuming. The peeling off of the layers of an onion in a sense. If one is 'awake', and once one gets over demonising aspects of our (beautifully) 'flawed' humanity we can see the immense opportunities afforded us in form and in relating to knowingly take on the expanding of awareness.
Immense opportunities that we can choose in willingness, or not even consider in unwillingness of experience. While yes we are one, our expression of who we are is individuated in form and learning the balance of that - is where a relationship takes on its own individuated 'form'.
rrraaaggghghghgh how to explain this.
Biologically if two (sexually) become one and create a third (embryo) the growth of that embryo into another human (or other species) in form is amazing, incredible. The embryo is genetically / biologically the sum of the two parts, but it's not only that, it is a life unto itself.
A while back I delightedly watched my daughter and son-in-law absolutely floored looking at their tiny baby daughter and in their gorgeous child-like relating absolutely captivated with the notion - 'we made that, how amazing is that? We actually 'made' that.' The two of them were enthralled by the exponential creativity of it - and yes most parents experience that wonder, and eventually it gets down to tin-tacks of 'who'll change the next nappy', 'how will we teach her this/that and the next thing'. From my vantage point though, I was privileged to witness an aspect of another 'entity' these two in coming together had seeded, birthed and were growing - their relationship. It has as much personality as their baby does.
Their (and all) relationships are, in form, a separated entity in itself. Materialistically a sum of the two parts, but not only that, it is also a life unto itself - life merely being experience.
So in interactive based relating there is one + one + one to consider, not just you and me, but the relationship that we're seeding, birthing and growing. These three inter-act on each other, and project images and spread resonances by their 'being'.
Not just knowing who am I, who are you, what are our boundaries and perspectives and opportunities, but what is our relationship, (who is it - is it ms narcissism, mr needy, junior drama queen, madam butterfly, jug o'love, hero or slave, saviour or demon,) all and any of the cloaks we throw at and over it that creates expectations and multiple personalities.
Just as one would negotiate who changes the baby's nappy and how that is decided, inter-relating gets down to the tin-tacks of supporting and accommodating the 'personality' of the relationship.
Widen that by the multiplicity of relationships each of us have on myriad layers and therein lays the complexity and depth of opportunities we are afforded in relating in form.
Yes, even with the lady in the elevator