Tod, One can definitely be liberated, but at the same time be sucked right back into ego when romance peers its head. My goodness, just ask my uncle about this.tod wrote:If you have expectations of another in a relationship are you awake, liberated?
Wouldn't being in a relationship bring to your own attention more examples of where you are attached to your own held thought patterns (eg, expectations)?
I know a quite aware guy who has been with 2 partners (1st one died) who appear to be not too aware and it is evident that he 'uses these relationships', or 'extends the love' to further awaken. It is not that anyone is particularly aware or unaware, or that he is using or extending, it is just what appears to happen from the point of view of a particular observer. His partners have been, in turn, 'madly' in love with him.
You indicate that this man's partners are "madly in love" with him. May I ask what kind of love that is? Would they still love him if he cheated on them and ditched them and never talked to them again? Do they love him because he is of the same source that they are in Pure Awareness? I'm not saying he would be "right or wrong". However, more than likely, the love you refer to is the love that 95 percent of the population refers to from the concept again of "romance". What does the term "madly in love" mean?
Relationships can be a WONDERFUL tool in awakening because we get to see how ego affects us and we can observe it directly. However, why would an "aware" person need to be in a romantic relationship JUST to "extend" that love? Love can be extended ANYTIME and ANY PLACE. The illusion of "romance" is not needed to do so. When people indicate to pursue relationships for love, well I have a 65 year old male neighbor who I love. Am I going to pursue a romantic relationship with him? I can EASILY develop a relationship with him and extend my love there. So, where does the desire for "romance" come into play? It's not our true selves that do the desiring. It's our human form. It's the form we mistake ourselves to be. It's not a bad thing or a good thing once again. It just is. There is no separate love from loving my 65 year old neighbor than from loving a beautiful woman that I am in a "relationship" with. It's all unconditional love. When we commit to romantic relationships, we are creating a fictitious agreement that is ONLY based on conditions. What else could it POSSIBLY be based on?
Again, we need to all define what the definition of a romantic relationship is. That's the crux of the issue here. Monogamous/committed romantic relationships.. What does it mean? To me, in the unawakened world, it means agreeing to "honor and be faithful" to my significant other. That's an agreement based off of CONDITIONS. How can an agreement such as this one NOT carry expectations or some sort of needs/wants with it?
If we DO choose to become involved with another, how can we POSSIBLY take it as seriously as we would have PRIOR to our awakening? Using excuses to be in the relationship in order to "extend my love to the other" doesn't hold water with me because again.....we extend our love every second of every day. Why is romance needed to do this? All romance does is create more conditions based off of ego which inevitably carry expectations of SOME sorts for either one partner or both. If one argues that is NOT what romantic relationships are, then again, I ask the question.....what IS a romantic/monogamous relationship if not by the definition I just gave? If there are no conditions set, no needs to be satisfied, then what is this thing we call romance? Merlin said it best......SEX and often times loneliness. Yet, few will acknowledge this because they are "awakened".
So, let's throw sex out of the equation for a minute. If you are your true self of Pure Awareness and you are enlightened, why can't you enjoy the love that life has to offer. Interact with different people. Enjoy experiences, even enjoy sex and relationships with others.....yet, without the need to commit to this fictitious notion of romance?
Why does it have to be monogamy or nothing? There are so many ways to extend your love.
I'm trying to point out that the concept of romance is an illusion that merely enhances the concept of "duality" even further. Meanwhile "playing in form" to ME implies enjoying life, experiencing the world fully, but not allowing myself ATTACHMENT to anything because otherwise, that would imply I am a FRAGMENT of this entire projection rather than the ENTIRE thing. Are there no attachments in romance? What's the need for an agreement then to explore "exclusivity" if one does not claimed to be attached on some level to another? If there's no attachment to that person, than we essentially owe them nothing. In THAT sense, again....the question circles....why romantic relationships then? Therefore playing in form means extending my love to others, enjoying the experiences I encounter, enjoying the relationships I have with others WITHOUT the conditions that romance relies on.