Clouded wrote: I took it as a form of rejection. Being lonely is safe and relaxing to me but sometimes I am embarrassed to be seen alone in public places and I wonder what is wrong with me (especially when I go to the restaurant and cinema by myself), sometimes I even feel like crying because I start to think that I am not worthy of anybody's company. What I usually do when I am seen alone, I pretend that I am texting to somebody I personally know but in reality I'm just writing on a forum haha.
These are just beliefs you invested you time in. You are not inferior nor superior to anyone. And so them. If someone laughs about you or reject you so what? why would you get upset? Look for inner peace. Go inwardly and not externally. Do you think these people are ''happy''?
It's a desperately way to say ''hey, watch me I'm here and I need your attention''. They need to do that to someone, because they feel empty and worthless.
The most important thing is how you feel about youself. Not what someone does or do not does to you. I had been through the same struggles.
And I realized I was victimizing myself, an opinion is just an opinion. Don't search for guilty. Don't supress your feelings, let them express fully.
If you feel sad or anxious, feel it. Maybe your hands will be sweaty, or your stomach beign dizzy. If you evoid those things, they will keep coming.
You have to allow youself to suffer fully, and then, your sympthoms (because those feelings are generated by thoughts) will dissapear.
And this is normal, and it's a gradual process that leads you to freedom. Because our ego's don't want to die. And everyone has an ego.
Everytime you are feeling ''bad'', it's an oportunity to grow. You just have to pay attention without judging.
Victimization belongs to a low self steem ego. Superiority to a high steem ego. Both are destructive.
And let me say that, I think you are lucky. Because high egos are more dangerous than the other kind of type.
If you are a quiet persona, develop your personal strenghts. You gave an example: being a good listener.
There are plenty of good qualities we are not aware of. Use your thought for self-discovery, not for self-destruction.
Also, be more selfish. Live your life. Mind your own business. What makes you laugh, what generates interest in you, and so on.
Focusing on positive things will change your mind. ''Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens''.
maybe this could help you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXI5fKDaZCI