a new person and feelings

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

a new person and feelings

Postby Cristina » Sat Mar 01, 2014 10:21 pm

Hello,

When a new person comes to your sentimental life, after a huge disappointment. What is the best thing to do?

When you do not know exactly what are their intentions and you also do not know if something will start from this contact. Some feelings start to raise again and the fear comes together, but not as before. It is different now, I feel like I have to wait patiently, no matter what happens.
Cristina
 
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby Cristina » Mon Mar 03, 2014 3:31 pm

I was observing my attempts for a relationship and I can tell you that the guys I met, were making a decision between me and other girl, they are never sure about me.
There is always another girl. And the interesting thing is that he come to see me, start to flirt with me, telling me that he is alone, single. But actually he is in a relationship and maybe confused or trying to decide if he will start a relationship with this other girl.

I was researching about my behavior and comparing with other girls in these first days of "relationship", and it is absolutely normal. I am not scaring them or doing something not usual. I don't undesrtand.
Do you believe this can be related to a kind of energy or negative feelings?
Cristina
 
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby oak tree » Thu Mar 06, 2014 2:52 pm

Hi Cristina,
My experience is that it's best to take a lighthearted approach to new encounters. To simply enjoy the interaction with them, without expectation. If you are open and relaxed they are more likely to want to spend time with you.
I also suggest facing the pain of past disappointments . Perhaps there is some pain beneath the surface that potenial new partners can sense? Maybe it's getting in the way of a new relationship. Is there space for a new relationship to begin?
oak tree
 
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby smiileyjen101 » Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:52 am

Oak tree said:

without expectation


^^ pure gold!
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby Cristina » Fri Mar 07, 2014 11:57 pm

Thank you for your answers.

When I started feeling something for this new person some of the old feelings of pain reappeared inside. The memory about the time I spent with other person was reactivated.
When I think about the (I will call ex) when I think about the "ex", or even during the relationship with this "ex", the feelings were almost all the time painful feelings and extremely strong, since the first day I met him.

The feelings for this new person are different. I feel a certain anxiety sometimes and I expect something. I am trying to diminish the expectation, but it is still dificult to me. But I don't feel pain when I think about this new person.
Cristina
 
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby Cristina » Sun Mar 16, 2014 4:53 pm

I would like to hear from you some words please.

I met this new person and I am really interested in him. We talked for days on internet and it was wonderful. we had met previously, some years ago, so he already knew me personally.
We had our first meeting after all these years and during the conversation it was really nice, I thought. I was excited about it and talking a lot as he was also talking a lot. But in the end I felt some distance of him.
In the next day he was different in the internet, we talked a little and I told him that I would like to see him again, but he did not answered directly.

I do not know if I have to tell him all my feelings, or just let go and wait?
I am confused about how I should continue, of course I am expecting something again...I think I screwed up ,I talked too much...I do not know.
I did not talk about some things that I feel for him.

Thank you
Cristina
 
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby oak tree » Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:19 pm

I suggest if it feels right and natural in the moment you are with him then tell him how you feel. If not, then I suggest you wait. Its not clear at this point how the guy feels. Are you attached to the outcome? If so, I encourage you to drop the attachment.

Also, I think it's a good idea to look within yourself and see why are expectations forming. In my opinion having expectations and attachment to the outcome can block the natural flow.
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby Cristina » Tue Mar 18, 2014 3:37 am

thank you so much oak tree,

the expectations and attachment to the outcome were dropped :)
Actually I discovered that he already has a girlfriend.
the same pattern "the guy is trying to make a decision between me and other girl"

And I am not able to support this kind of thing.

Alone again :)
Cristina
 
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Re: a new person and feelings

Postby oak tree » Tue Mar 18, 2014 11:33 am

I'm glad you have clarity now about the situation Cristina. :)

I'm a single female too and not that young, so I know how it feels to be alone! I think if we can be at peace within ourselves being alone will be more pleasant. And maybe some day a new relationship will come along. :)
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