Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Postby bobdylanfan » Wed May 28, 2014 10:32 am

Hi everyone hope your all well. I'd just like to ask your advice on why people who are quite established in their true nature would ever get into an intimate relationship. I can see for myself the more I relax with all my emotions and recognize awareness that that love-ometer in myself that ive always presumed could only be filled by someone is becoming more and more satisfied. I met someone recently, we got quite physical and there was a lot of sexual attraction and I could see how easy it is to get lost in that love story , so compelling especially since this girl is involved in the same practice as me. We didn't end up having sex because I know how quickly it can spiral from there .

I thought I give it all some space to become clear and that urgency and fear of missing out has pretty much disappeared. So my question is why do people get into a relationship if they experience that everything they want or need from a relationship is already available to them? That motivation or energy disappears because they re completely satisfied in themselves . I know some people who are in completely in touch with true nature who are single and some who have recently got in a relationship .
Any insights are very welcomed .

Thankyou all so much love love .
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Re: Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Postby dijmart » Wed May 28, 2014 10:28 pm

why people who are quite established in their true nature would ever get into an intimate relationship.


I would turn this around and ask you, why not?

You say-

So my question is why do people get into a relationship if they experience that everything they want or need from a relationship is already available to them? That motivation or energy disappears because they re completely satisfied in themselves .


First of all, no one has to get into a relationship. The reasons why one would are probably very varied. Companionship I think is a biggie, as well as someone to share your relative life with and also to have a family. If we stop relationships and sex, then humans would one day be extinct. Those are my thoughts on this at least.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Postby nutrition » Thu May 29, 2014 3:15 pm

We are all one and yet we have the illusion of separation. I believe relationships give us a taste of being one. And of course they are fundamental for human procreation, even if, in many native cultures the offspring is raised by the community. In fact, in tribal societies women get pregnant extremely early. At that point a relationship might be short lived and translates to a sexual act aimed at reproducing.
For people over the healthy reproducing age (18-35) relationships might mean companionship.
Relationships have also been promoted by literature, media and industry. Diamonds are given as a sign of love. A trip to a tropical place is a sign of love...having the perfect home with the perfect looking partner is a sign of success in love...

romantic relationships, as ET points out, do not last. Especially the ones driven by sex and passion. There is always some one new around the corner who could give you more sex and passion...

blessings
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Re: Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Postby Webwanderer » Thu May 29, 2014 4:36 pm

One might enter a relationship because they enjoy the company of another person and what they have to offer in companionship. As has been stated, we are all One on some level. So why not share that oneness up close and personal with another who also recognizes that oneness and enjoys your companionship. Just because you feel fine living in your own beingness does not mean there is not even more to feel and enjoy in a relationship with another.

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Re: Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Postby bobdylanfan » Mon Jun 02, 2014 2:17 pm

Sweet , thanks alot for you replies . Some great wisdom available from everybody on this website. Just an update on this situation .

This girl has been with her boyfriend for five years, we spent some time together recently at a gathering and then a few weeks later she came to my hometown for another gathering . She then made a move on me , said she liked me and we ended up kissing. Most people in my community can rest with powerful attraction and not have to act it out . We spent sometime togther both trying to rest with attraction and doing really well but every so often gettin carried away with it . Ive now decided to cut off contact for a month and see all the feelings of love loss, missed opportunites and loneliness come and resolve as i let them flow on by . So i guess im asking if i continue to relax with all these feelings and in that moment see they have no power over me , then surely a relationship will never come about . It feels as though i shouldnt be controlled by wanting a partner . How do i know whether a relationship is truly the best thing for me, for her and everyone or whether im just indulging all the wants and desires of a relationship ?

Thankyou u lovely lot.
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Re: Why do we start an intimate relationship ???

Postby Mina » Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:42 pm

Dear you,

You say: I know some people who are in completely in touch with true nature who are single and some who have recently got in a relationship .

mina: What I wonder about here is this: where do you (if you do) find a contradiction between the two cases you mention, between being or not being in an intimate relationship? Why would there have to be some preference or choice between the two?

Instead of considering the intimate relationship a danger, why not face that challenge also, as it comes,(it is indeed challenging!) with all the possible feelings that are easily contained in it, like desires (not only physical), jealousy, possessiveness etc. in other words different manifestations of the ego (perhaps not only, biology is also part of it definitely)? Is that not an excellent chance for self-understanding?

In other words: is there end to learning, learning together, whether in an intimate relationship or not? Is not learning in and through a relationship the most precious thing?
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