Attraction/ Relationship advice

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

Attraction/ Relationship advice

Postby bobdylanfan » Mon Jun 02, 2014 4:39 pm

Hi guys i wanted to ask a question about relationships.

Theres a girl i met recently that has been with her boyfriend for five years, we spent some time together recently at a gathering and then a few weeks later she came to my hometown for another gathering . She then made a move on me , said she liked me and we ended up kissing. Most people in my community can rest with powerful attraction and not have to act it out . We spent sometime togther both trying to rest with attraction and doing really well but every so often gettin carried away with it . Ive now decided to cut off contact for a month and see all the feelings of love loss, missed opportunites and loneliness come and resolve as i let them flow on by . So i guess im asking if i continue to relax with all these feelings and in that moment see they have no power over me , then surely a relationship will never come about . It feels as though i shouldnt be controlled by wanting a partner . How do i know whether a relationship is truly the best thing for me, for her and everyone or whether im just indulging all the wants,desires, hopes and fears of a relationship ? I do realy like this girl she is hugely loving and sweet but i can also see with the help of awareness stuff that would work and stuff that could be challenging like her jealousy for example. Im very friendly and outgoin generally and can sense her jealousy when im talking to other girls.

Thankyou u lovely lot.
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Re: Attraction/ Relationship advice

Postby Webwanderer » Mon Jun 02, 2014 11:42 pm

Life has risks. Embrace them or turn away from them. The questions is, on what side of this issue is the greater risk? Going towards, or away? I doubt anyone can tell you which is best. That's why life is an exploration. Explore both what's out there to be experienced, and what's inside as guidance. Life is such fun, don't ya think?

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Re: Attraction/ Relationship advice

Postby sumbrero23 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:35 am

5 years is a lot of time... I wonder what her bf. feels about it. (if he already knows) you didn't mentioned it.
I don't want to sound judgemental but, are you both in love or is it just for fun? Be careful. Love is not desire or attraction. There's nothing wrong with pleasure, only if we respect each other feelings. If our actions are based on love, then let it happen. I know it is really easy to fall into sexual desires. But infidelity can be a hard thing to take for some people.
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