It doesn't really matter what ET has to say if its not working for you.
Your wife has made a clear request "stop reading garbage and start loving her'
So why not?
Firstly calling something you are reading 'garbage' is a judgement and not a logical one. Fact she sees it as garbage is, that it isn't making anything better from her end. So maybe ignore that bit.
Second it might be good to actually DEFINE what she mean by 'loving her'.
What is her definition? Is it deeds (doing the dishes for example), or verbal communication (sitting and asking her about her day, being interested in what she thinks without making judgments or comments). Or is it physical, like little touches, holding hands, a hug that lasts a full 30 seconds. Or is it doing stuff together, going for a walk or a swim together.
See.... ET can't answer that, only she can. You could ask "what sort of things make you feel loved".
People don't like being told what is good for them, they like to find out them selves. Like you did.
If your wife didn 't like the therapists questions, then you didn't have the right therapist. She would want a non confrontational person who is kind and emphatic.
You have disagreements, well that is because you have a mindset that considers when it works out the way she wants it as you are Yeilding.
That is self talk that is going to give you issues straight away. Armies 'yeild' in a war, it doesn't make it sound positive. You could self talk it as "i made a choice to let it go as its not that important to me".
Sounds like you have fallen into the trap of going from husband/partner to wanting to be her teacher, this will cause stress (a parent child relationship doesn't work with adults), and you have 'so far not convinced her' so it sounds like you are going to keep hammering away?
Have you given her a nice shoulder rub lately? You may decide you are not the 'cause' of her emotional stuff but there are things you can take a few minutes for to help her feel better..... And that being said, a person can help another feel better, so they certainly can contribute to them feeling worse.
Your wife actually sounds pretty cool. She is assertive and outspoken on what she thinks about therapists and Et. And you sound nice too.
Instead of having these deep conversations why not try "honey, i'm home, I do love you so sweetie".
"Got another headache, thats a bummer, I hate to see you suffer". (no suggestions for cures/causes just empathy).
When you talk about things you've learned approach it from the way you would if you'd taken up a computer programming course, ie, how it relates to YOU "wow, today I am going to try not to complain about ANYTHING and see how it goes"...... and then if it goes well "gee, i only made it for four hours, but i do feel happier..... how about a cup of tea and you tell me about how your day was". Rather than trying to ram your stuff you are doing down her throat. If what you are doing is working for you then lead by example. There is a definate ripple effect. And the kids will benefit too. Lots of ripples.