romanticizing anticipation, reality, and fear!

[meetjoeblack]

I love this scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ope1tNwRNO4

I had a instant where I was out recently and met a beautiful woman. It came at an unfortunate time where, the nyc woman walks 10hr video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A), and it easily could put a young man in his head. I just hate how many barriers that are put in between men and women. Talking, complimenting, greeting made out to be wrong. I find it so disgusting since it is fueled by hate; men hating women and women hating men under terms like MRM or feminism. Essentially, a bullshit ego that keeps people apart and promotes more hate and cognitive dissonance. As if life is not hard enough as is?


I was out in a cafe and I met this beautiful woman. I could not help myself. I just started to talk to her. When I was little, I always use to wonder, what do I say? My mind was on auto pilot. I just talked. I mean, we talked... like really talked. Not full convo or randomness like, "hi" or "how you are doing?" Fluff convo with no meaning. We actually had a moment. Despite the barriers of being strangers and role playing in whatever scenario we are in, we bridged that gap. She and I got talking about the things we love to do. We spoke about our ambitions and the things we had plans.

I would see her again. We got talking some more. She told me about her agenda for the future and I spoke about the lifestyle I intend to have for myself as well as the lives around me. It was great. I found she intimidated me. She was beautiful but, more importantly, she was ambitious, a quality I rarely meet in women. I meet a lot that talk about independence but, seek out handouts or daddy to buy her stuff. This girl was actually independent which I liked. She asked me about some local event and if I was going. I ended up missing the event but, I saw her again. Same time. Same place. Leaving, I told her I would see her later. She said, "i hope so." The next time I went in, same time, same place, I took her number, and we went out.

The whole thing was romanticized in my head. It did not workout. We had very little in common and the anticipation never lived up to actually dating. We are on different paths in life but, guys, I loved every aspect of this. I loved that I conquered the fear of videos like the walking in nyc video that makes a man out to feel like he is a bad guy for being interested, complimenting or asking a woman out. I hate that.

While this did not end in true love; wife, children, and white picket fence, maybe next time it does. I am not afraid

[Enlightened2B]

Good to hear your story.

I'll be honest with you. I watched the video you posted in the other thread of the woman in NYC and frankly, I saw nothing in the slightest bit wrong with it. Yeah, ok, some of the guys were a bit sleazy, but some of them were just trying to make conversation with her. What's wrong with that? It's only our limited perspectives which love and I mean LOVE to judge how certain actions are considered right and certain actions are considered wrong. I don't understand why that's a problem? How else are men supposed to approach women, if not by breaking the ice for conversation? Consider that if men never approached women, then procreation would never take place. I understand that the video encompasses a number of men ultimately doing the same thing in a short amount of time, but that's just human nature, but most of them were mostly respectful, just trying to initiate conversation and perhaps be a little playful. There are always sleazeballs and it is what it is. I live in NYC, so I see this all of the time and maybe it's to the point where it just doesn't faze me anymore. Regardless, I think people read into this way too much and create drama about it.

Ultimately, it's easy to create drama by editing together a video of a woman walking in the city trying to be picked up by men. Sure, it looks like a woman is being harassed. However, if you take each individual 'attempted pick up' by themselves, all it comes down to is a man trying to initiate contact with a woman, regardless of whether his attentions are for sex or not. Again, some of the guys are more sleazy than others of course. This woman happened to be on the more attractive side. So, she is going to attract a larger quantity of men including more sleazeballs. Nothing wrong with that unless your own limiting beliefs claim as such.

Just my opinion.

[meetjoeblack]

Good to hear your story.

I'll be honest with you. I watched the video you posted in the other thread of the woman in NYC and frankly, I saw nothing in the slightest bit wrong with it. Yeah, ok, some of the guys were a bit sleazy, but some of them were just trying to make conversation with her. What's wrong with that? It's only our limited perspectives which love and I mean LOVE to judge how certain actions are considered right and certain actions are considered wrong. I don't understand why that's a problem? How else are men supposed to approach women, if not by breaking the ice for conversation? Consider that if men never approached women, then procreation would never take place. I understand that the video encompasses a number of men ultimately doing the same thing in a short amount of time, but that's just human nature, but most of them were mostly respectful, just trying to initiate conversation and perhaps be a little playful. There are always sleazeballs and it is what it is. I live in NYC, so I see this all of the time and maybe it's to the point where it just doesn't faze me anymore. Regardless, I think people read into this way too much and create drama about it.

Ultimately, it's easy to create drama by editing together a video of a woman walking in the city trying to be picked up by men. Sure, it looks like a woman is being harassed. However, if you take each individual 'attempted pick up' by themselves, all it comes down to is a man trying to initiate contact with a woman, regardless of whether his attentions are for sex or not. Again, some of the guys are more sleazy than others of course. This woman happened to be on the more attractive side. So, she is going to attract a larger quantity of men including more sleazeballs. Nothing wrong with that unless your own limiting beliefs claim as such.

Just my opinion.

While it was an attempt to be a "feminist" video, I found it racist, and ridiculous. A woman in a predominantly ethnic neighborhood (mostly black or latino) and for the most part, the greeted or complimented her as she walked down the street with her nose in the air. Time will get the best of us all. If a woman compliments me or propositions me, I take it as a compliment. If I am uninterested, I approach it by acting oblivious to it, like I did not notice to protect her feelings.

You say "approach" women. If you search that, there is a guy in trouble cause, he went way too far with the behavior. While I do not agree nor advocate what he suggested or implied, I feel like he was made scapegoat as a white male following the cat call video. Interestingly, so called "feminist" movement was originally about "gender-equality." Today, it is more "anti-feminism," pushing censorship on stuff like disney cartoon characters like the little mermaid, and claiming female objectification despite the lifestyle Kim Kardashian has made a living form.

Sadly, this is not a woman vs male argument. You got the MRM/MRA who come at women too. On both sides, you have essentially good movements and causes but, ego gets involved, and it is made out to be a witch hunt. In terms of "love," this is nothing love about hating a gender. What irritates me about the video is that, it makes men out to be a bad guy, and it is already hard enough to approach a woman let alone videos like this that could put a man in his head. Well, I saw a bunch of females react and rant on fb or social media following the video. I was irritated cause, it only provides more distance between men and women. Instead of reacting or saying something foolish that I may regret, I removed myself from social media temporarily. There is a male model video walking for 3hrs. He is "harassed" and approached. I have gone out and women have grabbed... "it" or been very forward, sexually aggressive. I do not pretend to be a victim. Again, I do not advocate violence or abuse or defend behavior. I just do not understand videos like this yet, fifty shades made into a motion picture despite the promotion of abusive relationship and dangerous sexual behavior that could ruin a man's life.


I am glad you have a gf and a loving relationship. I do not like the idea of online dating (no-diss). I like to approach. I like stories of how people met. I want my own. I loved that show HIMYM. This cafe experience was great and while, it is not like the novelty idea that everything lasts forever, man and women running to each other on a beach, and living happily ever after, I am happy I experienced this. I will not let fear or propaganda get the best of me or prevent me from stepping up in the future.

[Enlightened2B]

People will be people. It's part of the game of life. The ego perspective is a limited perspective, but it exists. Therefore, it is perfectly valid. If people want to enhance the concept of separation by delving into gender stereotypes, then let them. It's all good brother. We are here to experience separation. We are here to experience what it is like.....to forget who we are. We are Being exploring life through a human form and knowing ourselves and awakening as/through this human form.

Many get concerned for the welfare of our planet. I don't. I say concern yourself with how videos like this make you feel yourself. Look at your own responses to the video and utilize the video as a reflection of yourself. If the video makes you cringe. Try to discover why that is. If the video makes you side with one gender over the other, try to discover why that is. Understand that everything relatively speaking is an opportunity for growth and awakening. Relative reality gives us an opportunity for reflection. We can only know ourselves as Pure Being through the interaction with other relative forms. Perception is experience. Relativity is experience. Utilize your own experience to see and acknowledge your own emotions/feelings through your own experiential interactions.

Just to let you know. I met the girl I am currently involved with on a spiritual dating site. Not one of the mainstream sites. So, the clientele is quite different on this website. LOT more open minded people.

[meetjoeblack]

People will be people. It's part of the game of life. The ego perspective is a limited perspective, but it exists. Therefore, it is perfectly valid. If people want to enhance the concept of separation by delving into gender stereotypes, then let them. It's all good brother. We are here to experience separation. We are here to experience what it is like.....to forget who we are. We are Being exploring life through a human form and knowing ourselves and awakening as/through this human form.

I know. You are right. Its my ego that is reacting to the video, to a subset of feminists, and other things.

I find there is so much shit embedded in the mainstream that messed people up. Its like a psychological warfare and complete terrorism. "First they did it to you. Then you did it to yourself."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4WlOpraYbU

Awesome video. Checkout Elliot Hulse if you don't know him.

Many get concerned for they welfare of our planet. I don't. I say concern yourself with how videos like this make you feel yourself. Look at your own responses to the video and utilize the video as a reflection of yourself. If the video makes you cringe. Try to discover why that is. If the video makes you side with one gender over the other, try to discover why that is. Understand that everything relatively speaking is an opportunity for growth and awakening. Relative reality gives us an opportunity for reflection. We can only know ourselves as Pure Being through the interaction with other relative forms. Perception is experience. Relativity is experience. Utilize your own experience to see and acknowledge your own emotions/feelings through your own experiential interactions.

I feel like there is so much shit that keeps men and women apart. A big part of that is ego; ego to protect oneself from rejection. That and insecurity. I practice cold approach as a way of life. I like meeting new people, new friends, dating, and seeing what may happen. I rationalize it to myself afterward that, I never would have experienced this or that if I do not acknowledge or try. It takes a lot to set ego aside, stop being tense, and to take a leap of faith. Its not easy.

Just to let you know. I met the girl I am currently involved with on a spiritual dating site. Not one of the mainstream sites. So, the clientele is quite different on this website. LOT more open minded people.

Which one if you do not mind me asking? I was talking to a buddy who is much older than me by about a decade. He was surprised to hear I do not use any of this technology. I prefer to cold approach but, I may give it a shot since, it is an adventure and provides opportunities I could not possible have without the resource. I think I just need to set my ego aside and take a chance. Leap of faith.

[Enlightened2B]

Which one if you do not mind me asking? I was talking to a buddy who is much older than me by about a decade. He was surprised to hear I do not use any of this technology. I prefer to cold approach but, I may give it a shot since, it is an adventure and provides opportunities I could not possible have without the resource. I think I just need to set my ego aside and take a chance. Leap of faith.

http://www.spiritualsingles.com

That's the singles site I used to be on where I met the young lady I am currently seeing. I'm off the site now. But, it's a great site and I highly, highly recommend it. A lot of strange people on the spiritual site, you might find, but I'll be honest, strange is becoming a broader term for me now and I find less and less people strange ironically as I open myself up more and more to life. But, I would definitely give the website a shot. It's free (although you could pay) and you have absolutely nothing to lose. Let me know how it goes for you.

Dating is very difficult because it enhances the notion of separation, especially when ego becomes a factor. But, because we are experientially exploring the universe of separation, dating, like anything else is worth the exploration. Just have absolutely zero expectations and enjoy the process of getting to know people.

[meetjoeblack]

http://www.spiritualsingles.com

That's the singles site I used to be on where I met the young lady I am currently seeing. I'm off the site now. But, it's a great site and I highly, highly recommend it. A lot of strange people on the spiritual site, you might find, but I'll be honest, strange is becoming a broader term for me now and I find less and less people strange ironically as I open myself up more and more to life. But, I would definitely give the website a shot. It's free (although you could pay) and you have absolutely nothing to lose. Let me know how it goes for you.

Dating is very difficult because it enhances the notion of separation, especially when ego becomes a factor. But, because we are experientially exploring the universe of separation, dating, like anything else is worth the exploration. Just have absolutely zero expectations and enjoy the process of getting to know people.

I reached for stillness speaks on my book shelf. To my disappointment, it was not there but, I feel like I am due to pick up some tolle bro.

I was actually thinking of setting my ego aside, humble myself, and actually look into tinder/okcupid/pof. This alternative I never heard of and I feel like it is worth while cause, there likely is less people I may know, recognize, and the awakening process is likely there. It may not be "forever" but, it may present opportunities I may never have had before. Thanks for this in advance. I will not stop cold approach until I am no longer single. I prefer and I actually enjoy it. I find cold approach is a very humbling experience. It takes courage contrary to what some people may say. You have to escape self and be real.

I tried to escape ego. I have lost family (long story). I went to a darkplace one time. I was fighting a lot but, really, the battle was within. I was looking to slay some dragon in real life. Really, the battle was within. I liked that brain video. "First they did it to you. Then you do it to yourself. Now your the prison guard." It gives me chills.

You are a really deep individual. I was once fortunate to experience a relationship with a woman who was younger then me but, very wise, beautiful, and "special" in her unique way. Aren't we all? We were from different places but, it was great while it lasted. I felt like she was challenging, like she opened up a door that, I did not know existed or was even there before. it resonated. For awhile, I went searching that out again. I created this ego of chasing this or that. It was futile.

The thing is that, I need to explore more myself, see the world, travel #liveLaughLove! Stop projecting onto women what I feel or think they should be but, rather, step up to be a better man that attracts the kind of woman I want. I love women. I love people. I love life. Its hard to believe I was in such a dark place at one time.