when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby dijmart » Fri Jan 16, 2015 10:11 pm

Enlightened2B wrote: Just start to take notice of your thoughts.


Yes, and this can be done while meditating or not. I'm not much for classic meditation. However, I love a quiet room...aahhh. :) It's funny how you can be lost in your mind for days, weeks sometimes longer, then remember who you are again. I'm speaking from first hand experience here...whew. :mrgreen:
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Jan 17, 2015 2:01 am

Enlightened2B wrote:
MJB, what I'm trying to say is, can you affirm that all women are like this? I'm not saying you haven't met people like this nor am I saying that shows like Sex in the City are not impressionable on certain groups of women because I've met women too just like you describe. I'm just trying to get you to inquire into that belief that people are rarely genuine. I'm simply asking you to consider the possibility that some women are not like this and only certain women are. Just like the women who say that 'no good men are out there'. This too is a limited belief that people convince themselves of.


I cannot ascertain that anybody is any such way. In terms of dating, if I thought they were all, I would not bother. It is that I want to know. From my experience, I feel like there is less and less red pill women. I know that such a thing exists because of women like Amy Mullins among others. A woman who despite her circumstances, overcomes the obstacles she has in her life, and inspires. This is not what I see when I go out. I mentioned that I pulled a girl back from a bar to a party. As time went on, I stepped back, and away from her. We did not click. I watched another man talk about destroying her self esteem in order to have sex with her. It disgusted me but, the more and more he pulverized her self esteem, the more turned on she became. I am not suppose to be with that woman. I would not even bother indulging in reproducing the kind of behavior that would bring me around that kind of person. If there are red pill men out there, I must rest assure, there must be a female reciprocal to that. In very slim instances have I met that kind of person. I do acknowledge that this worldly experience likely keeps me further away from settling down. A life time of a particular experience likely echos in my dating experience. Again, I am always happy for having the experience no matter the outcome.

Enlightened2B wrote:Coming on too strong in what context? Coming on too strong as needy? Yes, that will most certainly turn anybody off, men or women. But, that's not what I'm talking about at all. I'm talking about having an understanding of your true nature prior to getting involved with a woman and not relying on a woman for your happiness. I'm talking about being confident in the sense that you are not afraid to show your vulnerable side to a woman early on the dating process, in a non-needy way will be GREATLY appreciated by many women, not all women, but many women.


I watched the movie Meet Joe Black. I love the coffee shop scene. Actually experiencing something like that is incredible but, real life is not like the movies. I know this. I think at times I am romanticizing in the idea of love and relationships. I know life gives us more of what we need and not necessarily more of what we want. I am not sure what you mean by showing a vulnerable side?? Outside showing actual interest to a woman in a cafe or coffee show, extending an olive branch in some way or another is how I act with a perfect stranger I want to see again. This is a vulnerable place to be. I do this often. In doing so, I date and see more girls but, I also notice immediately who I click with pretty quickly.

Enlightened2B wrote:Allowing a woman to see that you have fears, just like she does, without projecting them on to her, allowing yourself to be as you are, flaws and all, without trying to be a certain way on a first date, can be incredibly endearing to another person. But, if you're trying to play a game where you're afraid to 'come on too strong', then you're suppressing what you already are, and in turn, you're wearing a mask because of the belief 'women don't want guys to come on too strong'. You're generalizing ALL women, based on a certain group of women that you've encountered and this is your own limited belief.


I am not afraid to come on too strong. I compliment a woman and tell her to come out sometime is a pretty confident thing to do. Most guys dont have that courage outside being drunk and in a bar. There is traditionalism; passive and active dating roles. I appreciate you taking the time. As you have stated, you met your girl online; passive dating role. If you were going out to bars, clubs, pubs, cafes, coffee shops, and talking to lots of women, you likely would see life through a different lens. TV has really fucked people up. A lot of people are going through the motions and pretty much walking through life with their eyes closed. The next time you are out, actually talk to a random stranger, and see if noise is just coming out of their mouth or are you both having a conversation?

Enlightened2B wrote:Instead, try something different.

Go into a first date and simply observe your thoughts/feelings in RELATION to the person you are on the date with. Don't try to stop ANYTHING. If you're nervous...BE nervous. If judgemental thoughts about her pop up, LET THEM BE. Just watch and realize that underneath those judgements and fears, you are merely BEING itself as Love. If you DO happen to project on a first date on to the other person, simply allow it to be. Don't suppress or hide any part of you. Simply Be LOVE for anything and everything in that moment. You're not trying to gain something from the other person, nor trying to be in any way other than what you already are in that moment. But, before you can start dating consciously, you need to have a better understaning of your true nature as Awareness/Being.


I do not feel nervous anymore. I felt like there was something there with a woman I so, I got her number. We texted for a bit and when we got out, I realized that we had little to nothing in common. She was complaining about a lot of stuff. She tried to tell me about stuff we had in common but, there was nothing there. She talked about stuff like working out, martial arts, sports, and other things of interest but, it was an attempt to set a foundation. Again, I am happy for the experience. There are times to when I get busy with life and I do not text or text right away. Sometimes, women get mad then.

Enlightened2B wrote:Try looking at women with the rationale that women/men are no different than each other. If a woman appears a certain way to you, can you simply accept and love that woman (even in a non-romantic way) for the understanding that she is likely highly conditioned herself? Can you embrace a different perspective outside of your own?


I can accept I am different or that we are different. I do not like to be around certain personalities and people. I find it creates more noise or they do things to annoy me. Make lots of noise, attention seek, and even act crazy. I know there are good people out there but, I also know there are a lot of people to that I do not care to be around. As I said before, I like to connect with people, make new friends, and date.

Enlightened2B wrote:Two things:

You are either attracting the same types of people in your life over and over again OR (which I believe is more so the case), you are generalizing all women based on the belief that all women are kim kardashian types or whatever that even means. You're referencing social media, TV shows and media in general an awful lot. I think you're way too caught up in too many concepts of how things 'should be', instead just Being as you already are.


This is being as I am. I am not impressed with a lot of things. Rather than project onto women what I think they should be, I rather go out and be the strongest version of myself. With that said, I am not about to be around some of the women I have met just because I was taught about marriage and courtship.

Enlightened2B wrote:Start practicing some meditation MJB and start questioning some of the beliefs you have. I don't think mine nor Ekihardt's posts are going to be able to help you any further if you're still stuck in the limited perspective of your own beliefs. I know it's tough to go beyond, but it's a big step to open up and start to realize that everyone is conditioned a certain way and everyone's perspective is shaped by their own life experiences.


I do need to meditate more and I notice around Xmas time, my cravings get a bit out of control.

Enlightened2B wrote:There is no right/wrong perspective. You can go beyond that limited perspective by loving and accepting people as they are, including Kim Kardashian. You don't have to AGREE with her lifestyle, but can you merely embrace her own perspective as a different, unique perspective than your own?

There is love in the embracing/compassion/empathy of others, in the realization that we, ourselves are merely no different underneath the disguises and conditioned personalities we all wear.


I am finding myself distancing myself. I know separateness is an illusion but, I am feeling more and more alienated.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Jan 17, 2015 2:06 am

Enlightened2B wrote:Building on what Di said above which I agree with her with, this is why I recommend meditation to you MJB. But, doesn't have to be regular, formal, sitting meditation. Just start to take notice of your thoughts.

Check out the book 'Meditation, now or never' by Steve Hagen. I always recommend it to people, because it's a small little simple book, that worked so well for me.


i do more guided meditation. i sort of lost track with it. i am busy with trade school. after xmas and nye, i feel i became a bit uprooted. i picked up anthony robbins 10day mental challenge. i am going to start it tomorrow and read over it. i would like to do more meditation even if only 5minutes twice a day; once when i wake and before bed.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Jan 17, 2015 2:15 am

dijmart wrote:
Enlightened2B wrote: Just start to take notice of your thoughts.


Yes, and this can be done while meditating or not. I'm not much for classic meditation. However, I love a quiet room...aahhh. :) It's funny how you can be lost in your mind for days, weeks sometimes longer, then remember who you are again. I'm speaking from first hand experience here...whew. :mrgreen:


Thanks guys. I caught myself doing it today again too. I was in traffic and everything was annoying me. I am exhausted. I do notice when I get away from meditation, a lot of stuff that would not annoy me seems to start to bug me, and then, it adds up. I am also noticing some behaviors like distancing myself from people. I do feel like I am going in circles.

Dijmart, I know there are red pill women, new age women, people that are more into spirituality like you. I rarely meet people like that which is annoying. I think it has a lot to do with my environment. There seems to be a lot of mental health where I live. I heard even Jesus was a man of many sorrows. I cannot be around negativity or low vibrating frequencies for long or it takes it toll on me. I know everyone is awesome and that we are all vibrating at different frequencies. We sometimes click with some people and not with others. And that is okay. I will try to spend more time doing yoga savasana and meditation. I am less reactive.

Enlightenment, thanks for listening. I feel like the wheels are spinning. I am either going in a circle or not going anywhere. I intend to do some more meditation and unwind a bit. Give myself some times to free myself from thought.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby dijmart » Sat Jan 17, 2015 2:48 am

meetjoeblack wrote:Dijmart, I know there are red pill women, new age women, people that are more into spirituality like you. I rarely meet people like that which is annoying. I think it has a lot to do with my environment.


Yeah, we're a rare breed..lol..


There seems to be a lot of mental health where I live.


Well...I do have a mental health disorder, not gonna lie, but that's not who I really am... and meds help a whole lot! Don't judge a book by it's cover dear. :wink:
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby Enlightened2B » Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:14 am

dijmart wrote:
Enlightened2B wrote: Just start to take notice of your thoughts.


Yes, and this can be done while meditating or not. I'm not much for classic meditation. However, I love a quiet room...aahhh. :) It's funny how you can be lost in your mind for days, weeks sometimes longer, then remember who you are again. I'm speaking from first hand experience here...whew. :mrgreen:


Nice picture Di :) I always wonder what people on this site look like. There are very few with pictures including myself on the site. When I first joined, I was afraid to put one up because of potential employers (I know it sounds silly), but that fear is long gone and am thinking of maybe doing it now. Or not.

Back to your point above, I agree. I spent times lost in my mind still, but I accept that these periods will happen for me from time to time. I'm ok with it. Can't beat yourself up over it I've learned.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby Enlightened2B » Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:25 am

meetjoeblack wrote:
I appreciate you taking the time. As you have stated, you met your girl online; passive dating role. If you were going out to bars, clubs, pubs, cafes, coffee shops, and talking to lots of women, you likely would see life through a different lens.


Actually, I went to plenty of bars and clubs back in the day. I met a lot of women too. I never slept with that many, but had a good number of hook ups and dating experiences. But, my outlook was far from where I'm at now. I used to go to bars with the intention of meeting women and then when I didn't meet women, I would come home frustrated and depressed. I'm 33 now and since I don't drink alcohol anymore nor care for the late nights, I don't frequent the bar scene.

But, to me personally, it's not about active/passive. Meaning, I don't think you should be going to bars, clubs, cafes, or wherever with the intention to meet women to date. Putting yourself out there to interact with people is good. But, I would personally prefer to meet people as people, as opposed to trying to meet someone to date. I go to a lot of meet up groups. Well, not a lot anymore. But, I have some groups that I still very much enjoy for things I have an interest in and you meet a lot of people naturally in those types of environments. As for online dating, it's just a different avenue. Since I stopped going to places for the purpose of meeting women, I stopped dividing it into passive/active methods. I think walking up to girls and talking to them is a great method to overcome your fears. Took me a very long time to do it. But, I did do it and still do just talk to random people anywhere, everywhere. I stopped seeing gender though (which only makes you over think it more) and just started talking to be friendly. No intent. Just two people enjoying each other's company. I start conversations with tons of men and women now. If you're not trying to attain something (manipulating wise) from another person, then there's nothing to fear by talking to other people. When your intention is on 'meeting a girl' or 'trying to make this conversation go somewhere' with a random girl you meet, then you're (unconsciously) manipulating the situation, trying to gain something out of it. If you meet a random girl and there is physical attraction and chemistry on both sides. You can ask for a number and simply not expect ANYTHING. Just enjoy the time spent with another.

Just my take MJB.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:35 am

dijmart wrote:
meetjoeblack wrote:Dijmart, I know there are red pill women, new age women, people that are more into spirituality like you. I rarely meet people like that which is annoying. I think it has a lot to do with my environment.


Yeah, we're a rare breed..lol..


;)
dijmart wrote:
There seems to be a lot of mental health where I live.


Well...I do have a mental health disorder, not gonna lie, but that's not who I really am... and meds help a whole lot! Don't judge a book by it's cover dear. :wink:


I feel like you are hear (ITT and forum) because you want to heal. I have observed that most times, people rather blame circumstances rather than change it. I am reading this book about the effects of stressors and strengthening coming from that. I respect that about you. :) Thanks for sharing advice and being honest.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby dijmart » Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:52 am

Enlightened2B wrote:Nice picture Di :) I always wonder what people on this site look like. There are very few with pictures including myself on the site. When I first joined, I was afraid to put one up because of potential employers (I know it sounds silly), but that fear is long gone and am thinking of maybe doing it now. Or not.


Thanks Mike, yeah the impulse to put my pic up just happened out of the blue tonight and I did think, "I wonder if anyone I know will see me?" and thought "oh, who cares, I am who I am!". I love seeing pics of people after you've pictured them for years...lol. So, after 4 1/2 yrs of being on this site I figured I'd put the pic up, for awhile at least.


Back to your point above, I agree. I spent times lost in my mind still, but I accept that these periods will happen for me from time to time. I'm ok with it. Can't beat yourself up over it I've learned.


I think I not only spent time in my mind recently, but I became "lost" in my mind, unfortunately. However, each time I come out of being "lost" in my mind I find I have a lot of clarity afterwards of how insane it all was. Oh well, it teaches me something each and every time!
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby dijmart » Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:59 am

meetjoeblack wrote: I respect that about you. :) Thanks for sharing advice and being honest.


Thanks and no problem, peace to you MJB! :)
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Jan 17, 2015 5:02 pm

Enlightened2B wrote:
Nice picture Di :) I always wonder what people on this site look like. There are very few with pictures including myself on the site. When I first joined, I was afraid to put one up because of potential employers (I know it sounds silly), but that fear is long gone and am thinking of maybe doing it now. Or not.

Back to your point above, I agree. I spent times lost in my mind still, but I accept that these periods will happen for me from time to time. I'm ok with it. Can't beat yourself up over it I've learned.


It is a nice picture. I guess if you discussed with people individually, it is fine but, social media and the workplace can conflict at times. I think you are smart to be cautious. I think I also go through periods and fluctuate between lower consciousness usually around the holiday season which is a couple based time. Next month is Valentines. It just seems like my cravings come up before the year is out. I felt better after some meditation.
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Re: when something on a deeper level seems to resonate

Postby meetjoeblack » Sun Aug 02, 2015 12:56 am

So, I have not posted in awhile and I want to give an update.

I have been listening to videos like Preston Smiles and other ones of that kind of nature. I also bought Stillness Speaks which I keep on my night stand. It helps and I think I reach some level of spiritual goodness and then, I get mad or something happens. I realize I am not in a higher frequency or higher self. I am fall back into that lower vibrating frequency and lower bitter self. I guess it is often we go back and forth. Something I realize that is important is my intuition and listening to it. Not the noise in my head but, when I get that silent or subtle calling and or warning about something. I need to listen to it.

The girl I spoke about in this is not around. She got flaky. We hung out a bit and I just got to see she embodies everything I just don't want. I am happy I got to experience but, I also now notice I hold some resentment or even bitterness. I am going to meditate on. I honestly did feel like there could potentially be something there. I did everything I could in presenting it and I was fearless in approaching her. Clearly, it did not workout. What I did was approach some more girls.

I have this friend who always gets the girls. I went out with him and got numbers but, the girls always want him. He looks good to them. He has lots of sex and is pretty cocky about it too which they all seem to like. We met some girls and some of them, I texted or called to see again. Some were flaky. Some I met up with and realized were no good for me. It seems to be a similar pattern of either not getting the girls I want or getting a girl and seeing she is not right for me. I honestly thought I would settle down by now, start a family, get married but, after all that I see, I don't think i can anymore.
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