therock wrote:Hej guys,
I am 23 ys old, never had a girlfriend, single and virgin all my life so far.
You are just out of your teens man. The real question is, what are you doing to change that? In my teens, I dated a bit, I had some relationships but, I always felt like I was not living up to what I should be. Probably my ego talking then. When I was your age, online dating was a niche. Now, you have online dating as a norm, tinder, and okcupid or others.
I felt like such a chode with girls. I watched and wondered, how do you do it? What do I say? One day, a friend told me about the game. I read a book and I never looked back. I talk to lots and lots of girls. I approach lots. It can be a very frustrating process. It is never ending and it all really depends on what you want. Give it all a shot. At this point, what do you have to lose?
therock wrote:Now because of that long time I really want this SO bad. I think about it all the time, talk to as many girls as I can and put a lot of pressure and expectations into that area.
Something that gets talked about in self help is, "what you resist persists." You are single. You want a gf. So be it. Do everything you can in your power to get that. Freedom from outcome. Do your part. Leave the rest to the universe.
therock wrote:This creates a lot of tension, inner pressure, jealousy ( of others who have girls so easily) and frustration./quote]
In doing cold approach pickup, I am again and again frustrated at times. I then go meditate on it.
What frustrates me was that, while I cannot relate exactly to your struggle, I recall seeing it time and time again. High school, the so called good girl running through tons of men. Here in my late twenties, the same girls now have got that out of their system and they want to play house. I am turned off by this. Many of them have kids, are divorced or have baby mama drama.
My frustration is that, if there was not for a biological clock, I feel like most would never change. What is even more challenging to my ego is to see life from a new lens, acknowledge that female biology is turned on by the alpha males, the pretty boys, the men that do not call them back or buy the ring, and women are giving it up to them. So, when a woman is at the peak of her fertility, she is with the alpha, and when she is looking to settle down, she seeks the beta. Even more alarming is that, women then lower her standards especially with age. Many have had stds from the alphas, have had some emotional or physical trauma from some of these guys. And I am suppose to be excited now she wants to date?
Feeling sorry for ourselves does not change the facts.
TheRock, it does get better with age. I date a lot more now then I did but, I also get rejected more too then I did in my teens. I talk to lots of girls and I feel nothing if a girl is not interested. I just go talk to more girls.
therock wrote:Eckhart says that you have to GIVE what you want ...but how can I give something that I dont have /want soo bad.
Overcome your obstacles in life. Go do some traveling. Go live a good life.
The question I ask myself is, what if I never get married? Never have a wife? Never have a gf ever again? How will I live a good life in a place of autonomy?
There is a youtube channel by Elliot Hulse. He talks about being the strongest version of yourself. I am looking at doing this and it is a on going process.
therock wrote:Now more and more getting a nice a nice girl or having sex seems like such a huge thing.
You make it sound like it is incredible or out of reach. These walls you build. Your doing it too yourself.
therock wrote:Can somebody realte and maybe help ??
I would REALLY appreciate it.
I am familiar with what you are saying but, the truth is that, a relationship, sex, love will only complicate your life if you are not in a place of autonomy.
I have a friend who is good looking, he is muscular, square jaw line, and guess what? He is single too. He dates and gets girls but, even when we go out, what seems like is perfect or happening doesn't always workout. The girl and him seemed to hit it off. She never texted or called. Weird, if he left with her maybe something happens. I have had awesome nights out, never left with the girl, and surprise, we never talk again. I have always left with girls and it is a complete disaster.
Sex is overrated. Last weekend, my friends and I hooked up with a girl. It was dull. If you wait for chemistry, it can be lonely and a long wait. My advice would be to do everything in your power and then leg go.
therock, the biggest eye opener for me was my high school crush becoming a single mother. She went to the bar, fucked some guy who got her pregnant, and never called her. I remember how messed up my head was over that in my teens. Girls/women can be just as every bit as messed up as you or I.
