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80-20 rule

Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 3:17 am
by meetjoeblack
The mythical '80-20 Rule' Theory of Dating and Relationships says . . . . within a matter of days, weeks, or months, approximately 800 of the 1,000 women are going to be competing with each other for the attention and companionship of roughly 200 of the 1,000 men on that island. ... ng-singles
I am a bit of a late bloomer. I dated a bit in high school and some more in college. As I got older, I learned a bit more, i did some road trips, and I became more confident and I got to start dating more. I actually learned about Eckhart Tolle and of ego. I just wanted the ability to stop being a beta male, to have the courage, and will to approach women that intimidated me originally. I read a bit of self help and pickup. I would just talk to more people. I heard more and more about this 80-20 rule or theory. And I see it.

Now, in my late twenties, I am dating more because I put myself out more which is not always easy. I have come to a conclusion. Many women from their youth are running through men like a crash test dummy and now, its time to play house? After all the pretty boys, the alpha males, the sociopaths, and psychos are done with her, she now wants to settle down? Instead of locking down a good man at the peak of fertility, people were going on a field day.

I can link or upload pics of social media pics or text messages of women from the past, women who would not return my calls or texts in my teens wanting to date exclusively.

I can feel my ego; "yeah, okay bud!" I am aggravated by it. I am pissed by it. Its like, "i am done with the hot guys, my friends are married, engaged or having children, my weight is increasing, my market value is going down, I need to have babies... you will do for now."

My ego wants to indulge purely on a selfish level. I am dating a few girls openly but, I am turned off by this trend. I am a little scared as I have come across this community, mgtow (men going their own way) and I feel like I am destined for that. A group of men Growing up, I always thought I would get married, have children, and the white picket fence.

I know in essence, I am shooting myself in the foot and I am definitely no saint. I just want to date for now but, I feel like the state has no place in my relationship with a woman so, I do not need marriage. I have gone most of my life single so, I so not need a relationship to be complete. I would like to pay my life forward by giving my gifts to the world.

I know my ego is worked up with relationships. I am going to meditate on this and let go. I do need a shake up and someone talking some sense in me. I am very cynical about this and I went to bed one night in a very dark place seeing this stuff. It really bugs me.

Re: 80-20 rule

Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 11:42 am
by Fore

Re: 80-20 rule

Posted: Mon May 25, 2015 10:05 pm
by meetjoeblack
When it comes to pain bodies, this seems to be something that flares up for me, and I am working on this area of progression in my life.

I realize that when my ego is out of hand, I usually have been away from meditation or have not been actively practicing in my day to day life. I just keep coming to the same cross road and I am not sure what the answer is. I am fortunate to have this friend that is a spiritual guide of sort but, I still feel kind of lost when it comes to this aspect of my life. I picked up Stillness Speaks again and I have it by my end table by the foot of my bed. I am going to read it gradually and work on practicing in my daily life.

I have been seeing a girl for a few weeks and already, I see it going nowhere. I think I have become cynical when it comes to matters of the heart. Tell tale signs include the following:

"I always date the jerks and assholes."

"I like my bad boys."

"I am not a slut."

"I don't need a man."

"I only have guy friends."

"This guy friend _____!"

If I were to sum up the past few experiences with women the past while, the follow was stated or implied at one point or another. The trend I see is that, in these particular scenarios with these women, they run through the assholes, the jerks, the psychos, the sociopaths, the alpha males, and pretty boys in their youth. In their later years after going through the ringer with idiots, its time to play house.

Guys, I am not having any of it.

It seems I am in a repetitive cycle that I cannot escape. I went to bed one night and I felt overwhelmed by a lot of negativity. I can honestly say, outside a few instances, I have had no good relationships on a intimate level. What scares me is that, I feel like mgtow resonates which scares me.

I always thought I would have gotten married, have children, and had the white picket fence. As time has gone on, I feel like I am moving further and further away from such a possibility. I want to have a good life, start a business, buy some property abroad, travel, and live well. It feels like a disaster. It okay if I never get to that point. I do tend to do my best to be positive, to do everything in my power to bring on good towards those i come in contact with as well as myself. I just get burned out after a while of the same repetitive experiences. Seeing the same thing time and time again.
I am seeing a girl still but, I don't see it going anywhere. I come across a lot of single moms and I am just not about that life. I want to create a life together not raise some other man's child who wouldn't give the ring.

Doing this pickup thing is stupid but, staying home and masturbating blows too. Feeling lost. I do know what I want to do with my life as a single man. I am going to progress on those goals. I think I will bring more like minded people the more I stay on this path then if I do not. I just resented being the guy who never got girls. Getting girls now, i feel better single cause of what i keep seeing. Then again, at the pit of my stomach, i feel i want something else. I just don't like what i keep seeing and its turning me further from what I want.

Re: 80-20 rule

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:25 am
by howandwhy
Why are you so annoyed that they went through all the other guys before possibly settling with you?

Is it because they didn't choose you first?

Would you rather be the jerk they felt attracted to when they were young and immature, but now can't hold down a relationship?

Embrace yourself, embrace the people you meet for who they are, and embrace the moment. Don't look to the past or the future, or judge them.

Open your heart and your mind, and be social, and people who align will find you.

Re: 80-20 rule

Posted: Wed May 25, 2016 10:30 pm
by meetjoeblack
howandwhy wrote:Why are you so annoyed that they went through all the other guys before possibly settling with you?
Because I am not a utility. My resources are accumulated through hard work. I refuse to allocate my money to raise some other guts baby or babies.

Recently, I was vocal about this so a single mom called me a hater. I am a hater because she made poor lifestyle choices? 1) couldn't keep the man or 2) picked the wrong man?
Is it because they didn't choose you first?
Throughout college and high school, I was the good guy. The typical beta male provider. Buy dinner. Dress up. Pay for dates. She calls up the asshole with the handle bar mustache, the tribal tattoo, and motorcycle for sex. Calls me to tell me about the guy who bangs her and won't return her calls.
Would you rather be the jerk they felt attracted to when they were young and immature, but now can't hold down a relationship?
World prefer young, thin and attractive? Yes. Would I prefer stretch marks? Weight gain? Working around a single mom schedule? No.

I finally read Neil Strauss book on the game. I learned about cold approach. Talk to lots of women. What do they respond to? Indirect over direct come on. Respond better to calling a few days later then same night. Respond better to hook ups than letting her call me.

Approach hundreds of girls. Women respond like a kitten to the alpha and a bitch to the beta. Girls in caf├ęs, working, shopping centers and bars.

The same girl who isn't like that is choking up on some guy who makes her side piece. I see female nature or the majority of it and I realize why I was single. I have learned how to date and how the "dark" side is mysterious and attractive than beta male provider.

Still my ego isn't quenched. I know it never will be. Genuine is hard to come by. I never pretended t9 be a Pua but it was what hot me to approach because waiting is failing. Online is failing. It's too passive so, rejection in high school or not approaching. Now they want me and I want nothing to do with those girls.

I learned to be single. I learned that I can have fun single and not commit. I just see how it is and I changed my life. I won't ever go back to that.

Embrace yourself, embrace the people you meet for who they are, and embrace the moment. Don't look to the past or the future, or judge them.

Open your heart and your mind, and be social, and people who align will find you.[/quote]

Re: 80-20 rule

Posted: Mon May 14, 2018 11:34 am
by Truebirththankfully
Do you still feel the same now that time has passed and you've observed the workings of your mind?