infatuation

[Attention]

Hi

I have a strong infatuation toward a Facebook friend, I know I'm just dealing with a mental image I've made for her, but the feelings are so strong, Usually, I can observe and feel some subtle fearful emotions. But this craving I just can't, it easily takes me over. I just can't stop thinking about that all day long, in the meantime I still can't make an absolute decision. The funny thing is, when I'm facing the situation, when I want to convince her about a relationship, I feel like I don't really want that, at least I'm not sure yet. But If I'm living in an illusion for 6 months now, why there's so much emotion, so strong. I mean life should give me a challenge according to my level of consciousness

Another problem is, I can't plan to see her in the current period of time because of war and country situation and our culture traditions . I just can't let that go, I've tried to stop it all together, deleted her, but now we started chatting again after 2 months. I just can't believe this is happening to me. The feelings seem to be endless. I've also noticed that I lost interest in every other thing in my life.

Any advises?

[lmp]

I know I'm just dealing with a mental image I've made for her, but the feelings are so strong,

yeah, the forces of nature are strong, eh. Volcano eruptions, tsunamis, exploding stars, feelings. We are a powerful instrument. At least it means there is life in you, that there is power in your feelings. Many are overtaken, somewhat, by their feelings and mentations, get depressed, anxious, obsessed, the occasional poor guy goes mad.

I think that to feel these feelings does have some value, after all this loving feeling can be quite beautiful cant it, even if it in some cases cant have the object it is craving. Desire is also a coomplicated matter, contradictory, deep, and it is one of the consequences of our way of living. To be interested in understanding desire can be a great thing, but I doubt I could have done it while I was still young. I dont know if you are young but I guess you might be? Perhaps you just have to battle it out, see what happens, perhaps this particular problem changes soon.

I have no recommendations on how you should act upon your feelings as it is up to you how you wish to tackle your infatuation with this girl, or the image you have of her.

[Attention]

yeah, the forces of nature are strong, eh. Volcano eruptions, tsunamis, exploding stars, feelings. We are a powerful instrument. At least it means there is life in you, that there is power in your feelings. Many are overtaken, somewhat, by their feelings and mentations, get depressed, anxious, obsessed, the occasional poor guy goes mad.

I think that to feel these feelings does have some value, after all this loving feeling can be quite beautiful cant it, even if it in some cases cant have the object it is craving. Desire is also a coomplicated matter, contradictory, deep, and it is one of the consequences of our way of living. To be interested in understanding desire can be a great thing, but I doubt I could have done it while I was still young. I dont know if you are young but I guess you might be? Perhaps you just have to battle it out, see what happens, perhaps this particular problem changes soon.

I have no recommendations on how you should act upon your feelings as it is up to you how you wish to tackle your infatuation with this girl, or the image you have of her.

Thanks for your reply.

I'm 23. I don't know if I'm still young, my hair started to recede

I hope that I understand what you're pointing to. You seem to say that "Emotion in itself is not unhappiness. Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness."
Well, I'm trying to step out of the story, but there's something in me loves to dwell in the unhappy story, it's like addiction you know. I'll try to be more alert.

You're also recommending that I may have to learn about desire, If I got it right? I feel stupid . What you really mean by "battle it out," ?

[lmp]

By battle it out I simply meant that perhaps you just have to endure the negative parts and enjoy the positive parts of your situation at the moment. Since we cant decide what to feel it is a 'battle' to want to get rid of the bad feelings and try to have only the good ones. That was all I meant by that really.

[Attention]

that's clearer. thank you again

[lmp]

To dwell in the unhappy story seems to result in a lot of good books and films and music, doesn't it. There is also a type of dwelling where if I feel sorry enough for myself I kind of free myself from responsability, I don't have to do anything or I don't feel like doing something, pitying myself should be enough really. Not saying you are doing this, just saying it occurs, there's something passive in pity.

Also to dwell in what is unhappy might be a kind of interest in eventually understanding it well, even if it might seem as something negative or sad thing to be doing. Sadness and unhappiness too are outcomes of the way human beings are living, it's not a very easy thing to turn it around.

Stepping out of the story sounds like a good intention, I hope you have some success with that.

I don't know where to begin to talk about desire, your first post is about strong desires and imagination regarding someone. So the opportunity is there to ask simple questions about it, not in order to stop it but in order to find out what it is you/we want. At first it feels very good to fantasize about good things, but then it most often starts to feel like something is really missing and it begins to hurt instead. Most people want a good job, partner, money, family and that seems fine but then comes the fear when we dont have it or when it is threatened. It goes around and around. I think that is part of why some (spiritual) people begin do distrust stories, eh, they seem to bring something more than what they promised.

I'm just talking in a friendly manner, no need to try to understand everything I say, just feel free to write whatever comes to you. It takes some time to say things that have some meaning anyway.