Doubts about this relationship

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

Re: Doubts about this relationship

Postby meetjoeblack » Sun Oct 18, 2015 7:26 pm

presenttense wrote:thank you

First, it is not easy to "find" someone "free" where I live. And for years I was alone.


I understand. I feel that way too. I notice people become more available after making bad decisions. I got reacquainted with people from high school and its sad where life took many people.

presenttense wrote:thank you
Now, when I was not expecting anything, this guy came into my life...and I think Im in love now. I really do not know why I am so involved...maybe because he is not. I want because I do not have, maybe is something like this. But the point is that when I am with him...I feel better than when i am alone.


It's strange how disinterest has that kind of effect on someone. I met a girl randomly. We spoke, made small talk, and seemingly hit it off. Of course, she never came around and I am numb to it at this point. I think there is something in going for what you want and becoming indifferent toward the results. If I saw her again, she is a "Netflix and chill" girl. Not date, gf or wife.

presenttense wrote:We are still in contact but only in the weekends. During the week he stopped to talk with me.. when I send him a message he answers it but he never starts a conversation with me.


At what point do you start to question whether or not you are just the "Netflix and chill" girl?

presenttense wrote:I feel he is distant and I know he does not loves me. He is still healing himself from an old love, as he told some days ago.


Maybe taking a step back is ideal at this point. It's strange how cycles continue. He gets hurt, you open up and he hurts you. Now you go hurt someone else to get over him. Weird ehhh?

presenttense wrote:I am trying to accept that he does not love me, but it is difficult because he knows I like him a lot. So every day we spent together, when I come back home I feel sad, because I do not know if I should continue or if would be better to finish this relationship.


You say you love him but he knows you like him a lot. Sounds more like infatuation. If you come on too strong and a guy has other options which I bet this guy does, you push him into those options by way of smothering him. You are always there, he can do no wrong so, why not hookup with others. You will wait for him anyway.

presenttense wrote:But than, I can see this pain as my ego. I feel bad because he does not love me like I want. And now I do not know if he feels sorry for me and maybe this is the reason why he is with me? I really dont know what to do.
Sometimes I think I should let things flowing and see what happens...but I am suffering because I am expecting his love some day. Despite knowing that it may never happen...


You pretty much need to put it out there, love, and accept his love or lack there of it. Then move forward or on with your life. After every approach, I let go. She can call or not. Life will go on.
meetjoeblack
 
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