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Relationship regrets

Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 1:18 am
by Cristina
Hello all,

I am feeling bad because of my decision and I would like to recognise why I feel bad in all choices I make.

I met a guy two months ago and I knew since the second time I saw him ...he was not interest in a relationship with me...it was just a casual metting and even knowing this I decided to continue with him.
Most of the time we only text a few words...so I know he was not emotionally interested.
I was decided to continue this contact but of course I was involved and he was not....so, now...I am suffering because he declared he does not want to know about my life...he said I am intelligent, beautiful and he likes me but just for casual meetings if you know what I mean...If I prefer, we can end these meetings.

It hurts me a lot...This is totally different and I've never experienced similar situation, and I am feeling bad because after all of this conversation, I said I would like to see him again...
I am trying to figure out why I said something like that...And actually he does not know I am feeling like this.

Wish i could meet him to tell a lot of things I would like to tell...but I know he does not want to hear...he ignored what I wrote previously

I do not know how to forgive me and to forget all these things. I need to accept I will never talk to him anymore. Why I have the necessity to explain my feelings?

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 12:44 am
by rivenfall
Hey,

You have the necessity to explain your feelings because what you really want is him to know, but since he ignores it you write it here.
This is normal.

You were probably calm and alone writing this and it's probably the closest to the truth you have been about this relationship.
There can forget about your regrets once you make the right decision "now".

The suffering you have been through does not have to continue. If it does it means that you are agreeing to it.
In presence you can witness when 'you are hurting yourself by accepting situations you don't really want'.

You can allow yourself to step back and be in peace with yourself before accepting to meet him or anyone else.
Even if you keep accepting to see him, you do not have to behave the same. You can change and expect him to be surprised and keep changing anyway.

Just start being as authentic as you can as fast as you can. You have nothing to lose and nothing to fear when being honest because in this case losing means losing something that doesn't match you anyway.

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:00 pm
by Cristina
Thank you Rivenfall

The desire to talk to this person is still present however i feel bad ...because I know he does not like me.
So I also know and think the best option is to avoid any kind of contact...but at the same time the desire is still there.
how do you deal with that kind of feeling when you really want something and you know that it would be in vain because there is nothing you can do to change what the person feels about you?

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2016 7:29 am
by howandwhy
If you know an action will be painful, I suggest you stop engaging in it. If you don't you will be trapped in it's cycle.

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2016 11:17 pm
by Cristina
Hi all,

I was reading my posts just to confirm how I am so silly... 6 months after this post and I was still seeing this guy......I was so idiot and i really do not know why I am doing this with me but. Even with all these things he said to me, after 2 months we start to see each other again...He said he was dating one girl but she was living in other country so he was not pretty sure if he would continue with her...and Im like an idiot accepted this information as true.
The fact is that I was feeling everyday more involved with him...and I was "expecting" him to see me in the last week...when suddenly he blocked me in all social networking websites. And now i know he married that girl, just one day after our last conversation...and i would never imagine something like that...
In fact i knew he was not interested but I really, and deeply inside thought he would be able to like me one day...I do not know why Im so idiot to think things like that.
I wish I could be stronger regarding my sentimental life. How can I develop this strength in this area of my life?

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2016 11:06 am
by DavidB
How can I develop this strength in this area of my life?
Strength comes from the light of our own presence, the Power of Now.
It's not a sign of weakness to walk away or to let go. On the contrary, it's a sign of wisdom and strength to know when your time and energy is best served and utilized elsewhere. Know when to stop banging on a closed door. ~Eckhart Tolle

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. ~Eckhart Tolle

Love is a state of being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. ~Eckhart Tolle

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2016 2:34 am
by Cristina
i feel so bad...sad..
Im tired.

i was not expecting this pain at the moment.

Re: Relationship regrets

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2016 2:42 am
by meetjoeblack
Cristina wrote:Hello all,

I am feeling bad because of my decision and I would like to recognise why I feel bad in all choices I make.

I met a guy two months ago and I knew since the second time I saw him ...he was not interest in a relationship with me...it was just a casual metting and even knowing this I decided to continue with him.
Most of the time we only text a few words...so I know he was not emotionally interested.
I was decided to continue this contact but of course I was involved and he was not....so, now...I am suffering because he declared he does not want to know about my life...he said I am intelligent, beautiful and he likes me but just for casual meetings if you know what I mean...If I prefer, we can end these meetings.

It hurts me a lot...This is totally different and I've never experienced similar situation, and I am feeling bad because after all of this conversation, I said I would like to see him again...
I am trying to figure out why I said something like that...And actually he does not know I am feeling like this.

Wish i could meet him to tell a lot of things I would like to tell...but I know he does not want to hear...he ignored what I wrote previously

I do not know how to forgive me and to forget all these things. I need to accept I will never talk to him anymore. Why I have the necessity to explain my feelings?
The frustrating thing as a guy is that, many girls in their youth are ok being side piece. Youth only lasts so long.

I think you should be vulnerable and open but, with somebody willing to give you as much or more.

With girls, they are either receptive or not at all. As in, text often, makes herself available, and isn't playing games. Texts to hangout or watch a movie are common. One word answers or flaky is just next material.

You felt something. Learn from the experience. Take something away before you start something new.