Choosing a spiritual standpoint at finding somebody

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

Choosing a spiritual standpoint at finding somebody

Postby muddy_diamond » Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:48 am

Hello there!

First of all I'd like to emphasise that I'm not a Eckhart Tolle follower in particular, but this forum seemed a nice spot to discuss my dilemma. I'm a 23 years old guy and I've never been in a serious relationship with anyone yet. Once in a while I'm busy with that 'dating' thingy, but so far without the result of finding anyone which I really liked, let alone, fell in love with.

Now the point is, that I'm in conflict between two ways of thinking (and I almost don't dare to use that word ;) ):

1- Just realising that I'm already complete, don't need anybody else to be complete/fulfilled. And following the stream of life and love, trusting that it'll fold out the way it will fold out.

2- The urge to just DO something. I know it may sound pathetic, but with passing of time the "not having a girlfriend" sensation gets more and more pressing. I also realise that this is for a part because of societal expectations, but also for a large part the yearning for that experience from myself (to intimately share life with somebody else). I for instance take meditating on it (in an abstract way) in consideration, but won't do it because I think it's too egoic.

Around me I see people not busy with spirituality, just doing their things. In their case at least some things are happening if you understand.

What it comes down to, is that on the one hand I tend to try to ignore thoughts about getting in a relationship because I believe 'life will work itself out and bring the things on my path that are perfect for me'. On the other hand, I'm leaning more and more to the spectrum of 'law of attraction' and thinking in a certain way to attract certain life situations. Of course this last mentioned thing is mainly driven by an increasing desperateness, to call it that way...

I'm trying to just give to the world around me (with a genuine intention) to give what I'd like the most: love, understanding, fun, self confidence with girls (to a friend) etc. Probably with a deep underlying thought of eventually getting it for myself... But then that seems opportunistic in the foundation... Oh well...

Hopefully this post isn't too vague. I'd like to read your thoughts about this subject and how you would position yourself in my case.


Kind regards!
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Re: Choosing a spiritual standpoint at finding somebody

Postby dijmart » Sat Jul 23, 2016 3:32 pm

I really like your attitude! I think you should combine the 2 ideas. Know you are already complete on your own, but keep your eye out in case you find someone interesting that you'd like to date, then act on that if the situation arises. No harm in putting yourself in situations to more readily meet someone as well. I wouldn't obsess about it though, because then you will no longer feel complete on your own and will feel you "need" a girlfriend to feel whole and complete. Which is not what you want.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Choosing a spiritual standpoint at finding somebody

Postby meetjoeblack » Thu Sep 22, 2016 2:46 am

I never have been in a serious relation. I have dated more as I got older and I approached more. Still, you got to sift through nonsense and its time consuming. Most of it a waste unless you hit it off. You might not be ready man. The thought of kids scares me. The older I get, the more baby crazy I find girls so, sex is more disposable and available but, its at a huge risk. I wouldn't be put off by this so much as if the girls I met did not spend their youth as side piece or kids with an idiot.

I am not sure the answer. Everyone is on tinder now a days. What if you swiped right at life?
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