I think the most important thing I have to tell you is that there is nothing wrong with your desire to know what you and he are, perhaps only in your reasons for wanting that knowledge - societal expectations, which are just a product of human unconsciousness. But, I think the other reason for you wanting that knowledge is not
to be ignored - the fact that we are social animals, all of us. It is hardwired in us to want company. Not just company, but the stability and security of a longstanding relationship. If the anthropologists and psychologists can't convince you that human interaction is important, listen to your loneliness - not everything it tells you, but its fundamental message.
We get beaten with a spiritual stick here on this forum, and elsewhere ... people constantly telling us "You don't need a relationship. You're enough by yourself." That is true on one level. But, that is not honoring the needs of your human form. My core message here is to not
beat yourself with that stick. If you meet a human being, no matter how "enlightened", who tells you that they don't like the feeling of knowing that, when they go home after a long day's work, there is someone special waiting for them, they're lying not only to you but also to themselves and their partners. The stability and security, the feeling of being cared about and being safe and protected, is the whole point of a relationship ! Otherwise, you could just as easily find a new stranger to enjoy the moment with, every time you feel lonely. Is that going to work ? For most of us, no
That long-term aspect of a relationship is just as important as enjoying the moment when you're with that special someone. And, that is not an egoic need; it is something far more primordial, which means it is not artificial like the ego; we didn't create that need, it was born with us ... it is an intrinsic part of being human. Wanting a new relationship just to post pics on Facebook and make your ex feel like crap IS egoic. Wanting to share your life with someone because you feel a deep innate craving for human interaction and companionship is NOT !
Being "enlightened" doesn't mean ignoring/rejecting the needs of the human form - eating, sleeping, pooping, having a partner. It means being aligned *with* the form that you are. Now, how do we reconcile the two ? Recognizing the fleeting/impermanent nature of form vs honoring our human form which likes long-term relationships ? We try to find a balance. We honor the human form from within the foundation of the formless. We listen to our mind and body and its needs/desires, and we figure out which needs are real and which are imagined, from a place of presence.
The other part of it, I think, is realizing that, you and he both need your space to be yourselves, but again, not in the way that society usually means "space". I mean space more generally - do not impose your identity on the other, whether that dictates how much time you spend together, interests/hobbies, "values", opinion of "what you are", etc. You can be who you are and simply respect the other as he is. Alternatively, if you don't like the other's form identity, walk away. Instead, people often try to stay in relationships and change the other. Failing strategy.
Harsh experience in (attempted) relationships has taught me that the harder you try to make someone stay with you or compliant in some way, the harder you push them away or make them non-compliant. Only now do I understand why. Anytime your ego imposes an expectation on the other, all it does is strengthen that person's own ego, which may be in total opposition to yours. So, if that person has a slight apprehension about the relationship to begin with, any further demands by you will only intensify that apprehension. Your ego will strengthen the other's ego. If you force someone to do something, they will refuse to do it, almost just to spite you for forcing them, when they might have willingly done it otherwise ! That is why you hear cliches like "let's see what happens" or "let's take it slow". Put the food on the table and walk away. If the person wants to eat it, he/she will. If you try to force it down their throat, that will only tighten their muscles responsible for vomiting the food.
Most important of all, please don't ignore your human needs just to create an identity for yourself as "spiritual". Honor the human form and its needs, both yours and his. Realize that form and formless are not mutually exclusive; you can honor both ... in fact, they go hand in hand.
And welcome to the forum !