With this knowledge and approach, should any relationship wo

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment
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cfraugh1
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 12:54 am

With this knowledge and approach, should any relationship wo

Post by cfraugh1 » Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:04 am

Hello, and the last 24 hours I've been listening to multiple Talks by Eckhart Tolle. Considering being present, aware of the ego and the pain body, should any relationship work?

I recently lost someone I love very much, I considered him the love of my life and my best friend. We both loved our lives together. And I am afraid that I was too reactive to things that shouldn't have been big deals (my ego and my pain body from actual past events, insecurities and fears) and that I wasn't understanding enough of his pain body (specifically a shutdown in communication /withdrawal when conversations seemed difficult to him).
It's a shame to think that we unnecessarily split up when we could potentially be more aware and understanding and work through what may eventually appear as trivialities.

So with this knowledge and state of being my question is, wouldn't this result in any relationship working and any behavior being allowed and inconsequential?

meetjoeblack
Posts: 241
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 3:49 am

Re: With this knowledge and approach, should any relationshi

Post by meetjoeblack » Sun Aug 06, 2017 5:34 am

cfraugh1 wrote:Hello, and the last 24 hours I've been listening to multiple Talks by Eckhart Tolle. Considering being present, aware of the ego and the pain body, should any relationship work?
I read Tony Robbins for self help when I was 21. It changed my life because of that ten day mental challenge. It basically reprograms your mind. Its basically a type of meditation. He begins the book off by suggesting to try everything, to take what works, and then, dismiss that which doesn't work for you.

Just because Ecky is single, unmarried, and doesn't have sex doesn't mean I should follow this path. There is no ego. I have heard of people creating a ego on pointing out everyone's ego. it is like the man stuffing his face full of donuts and ranting about not eating sugar.

Learn from Ecky but, pave your own path.
I recently lost someone I love very much, I considered him the love of my life and my best friend. We both loved our lives together. And I am afraid that I was too reactive to things that shouldn't have been big deals (my ego and my pain body from actual past events, insecurities and fears) and that I wasn't understanding enough of his pain body (specifically a shutdown in communication /withdrawal when conversations seemed difficult to him).
He sounds like me. My ego is to switch off. To become distant and remote. Like, if someone was being nagging, I would just get away from it and faster if it was setting off my ego/pain body. Love is a strange thing. I liked Ecky pointing out about the use of the word love in another language and there being a rarer use which he said was to mention by point of reference. Its all too rare and I don't think I have ever known it. If you have experienced this, I am truly happy for you.
It's a shame to think that we unnecessarily split up when we could potentially be more aware and understanding and work through what may eventually appear as trivialities.
Maybe that is the point but to date someone with not as reactive an ego. To be compassionate, understanding, to give love, and get love. As a single man, it is pretty savage out here, and I can understand your fears to be here AGAIN. I know it all too well. I was out recently. I watched my buddy approach a girl. All the other guys stood in awe at what was being done. Later, her friend came and pulled her away. I regret not being there for my friend. Too busy stuck in my head thinking about getting older, how hard this is to be single, friends are married, engaged, having a children, and here I am at a bar or using tinder. FML.

Next, I am wondering the bar with this buddy. I end up hitting it off with a girl who is "newly single." And she gives me her number after short convo and a little bit of dancing. Her friends were supportive whereas, a lot of times, girls are not so.

So, one sec, I am dreading this "being single" life and the next sec, I am making the most of it all or trying to anyway. Its all so weird. In one instant, you feel like shit or you get rejected, you feel great when things go well, and then, shocker, someone is flaky, has a bf or there is some weird love triangle. And the cycle begins.
So with this knowledge and state of being my question is, wouldn't this result in any relationship working and any behavior being allowed and inconsequential?
I wish I had a answer for you but, for the life of me, I am still learning how to find my way in the world in more ways then one. Its challenging enough to stay a float let alone mitigate ego, pain body, and a LTR. I think in ever successful LTR that I know, they know each others pain body, egos, and know how to mitigate setting one another into reactivity.

Assuming the love is real, one would think, a cooping mechanism, a pause or some sort of breaking of rapport when someone knows its about to turn in WWIII. I am wishing Ecky had a marriage or a life partner because I feel like you need to experience to have the wisdom of living what you preach. I am not saying he has no insight or he cannot. I am saying, I am visual, and I would like that visual representation so I know what aim for I guess.

Good luck. You are young, alive, and the world is full of endless possibilities (or so I keep telling myself) :)

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