Divorce and soul alignment

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment
Apolloislost
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Divorce and soul alignment

Post by Apolloislost » Sun Oct 08, 2017 2:49 pm

I have been married awhile and it’s been very difficult with loads of suffering on both sides. I realise that your partner is supposed to be your teacher, and the suffering is to draw you out of the ego kind. If all this is true - why do I want to get a divorce so I can have some peace and quiet?

Wouldn’t it be better for me to stay and work through all these difficulties and negativity? Isn’t that supposed to be the way to presence and be aligned to my soul’s journey?

Also it surprising that a number of people state I look unhappy, but surely that can’t be a fault of the marriage?

mz222
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by mz222 » Tue Oct 10, 2017 4:57 am

I'm going through the same thing... Not really a divorce, and she doesn't make a racket or anything but I do fancy other women and I've been trying to stifle this because of a misconception that it's somehow more "enlightened" to not have those desires/needs. The problem is she has a lot of presence but I find my own presence can't come forth when I'm around her.

meetjoeblack
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by meetjoeblack » Fri Oct 13, 2017 7:48 am

mz222 wrote:I'm going through the same thing... Not really a divorce, and she doesn't make a racket or anything but I do fancy other women and I've been trying to stifle this because of a misconception that it's somehow more "enlightened" to not have those desires/needs. The problem is she has a lot of presence but I find my own presence can't come forth when I'm around her.
I don't think marriage and monogamy is natural or better put, in our nature due to the desires we experience. I've always thought it was the way but, as time went on, I spent quite a bit of time single, and noticed something. When single, I want a gf and to feel love. When I am dating, i want to be single, and free. I am in a perpetual state of trying to get somewhere rather then just embracing the present moment.

After a recent spiritual trip, in one instant, I am in a dream, and the next second, my life is over. The next, I am back, alive, born again new, and in awe overcome with extreme gratitude for this life.

I am still not ready yet for that, for marriage, and being one with someone. I am constantly working on being one with myself hence the spiritual trip I embarked on. I think a enlightened individual living an ascetic lifestyle is more than capable of marriage. Even then, I think desire is there but, you see past it and the ego portraying that freedom is in that acquisition. I am far from enlightened. I can attest to living through one's craving time and time again. Needless to say, it doesn't end well and cravings continue to kick off sooner or later.

meetjoeblack
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by meetjoeblack » Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:02 am

Apolloislost wrote:I have been married awhile and it’s been very difficult with loads of suffering on both sides. I realise that your partner is supposed to be your teacher, and the suffering is to draw you out of the ego kind. If all this is true - why do I want to get a divorce so I can have some peace and quiet?

Wouldn’t it be better for me to stay and work through all these difficulties and negativity? Isn’t that supposed to be the way to presence and be aligned to my soul’s journey?

Also it surprising that a number of people state I look unhappy, but surely that can’t be a fault of the marriage?
It is something I have spent a great deal fearing the past few years. I am in that age where everyone is pairing up and getting married. Some are ready and others are following the beaten path. Something I have observed is that, a lot of women are told from a young age of this fair tale marriage, and that this is what they want. The same with postponing a family and chasing a career through government education when, you can declare bankruptcy on everything from a house, car, visa, line of credit etc. and anything but a STUDENT LOAN.

Society is always telling people what they want and need be it a marriage or a divorce, a career, and some sort of nonsense answer. Nobody can give you the answer. The thing that society doesn't show is that, marriage isn't all white dresses or two people running at each other on the beach like the movies, and the credits rolling as people live happily ever after. Its hard work, its fighting, and bills. Its childcare and managing a household between a career that is not so glamorous as society suggested.

I look at the stats of divorce and its scary. Its even more scary seeing the stats of divorce initiated and custody battles. Its not something I would ever want to be party of. I am still figuring out the whole LTR and marriage. Honestly, I don't believe marriage and monogamy is in our nature, that we are meant to be with just one person. I think someone enlightened living an ascetic lifestyle can and does. I know I am not ready for that let alone a serious LTR. My advice is probably not going to be all that useful but, I will give it a shot.

I think if you were to divorce seeking peace, you would find yourself more lonely, and much of the problems you've deemed a product of your marriage, you will find still present. It will then dawn on you that, it wasn't the marriage, that, the problems you thought are just life. Being with someone is a problem. Being alone is a problem. I feel like a trapped animal when someone is needy or wants a LTR. When single, I crave it, and I am in a constant state of motion having to be somewhere rather then just embracing what the moment brings.

I hope to get to that point one day. I just know, I have issues i need to resolve, and some meaning to be had before ever considering marriage as well as a family. Maybe not quite "enlightened" but, on that path at least working towards it.

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turiya
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by turiya » Fri Oct 13, 2017 11:26 pm

I realise that your partner is supposed to be your teacher, and the suffering is to draw you out of the ego kind. - Apolloislost
Whether you're married, dating, or single... Life is your teacher, and any suffering is to draw you out of the ego. :wink:
Wouldn’t it be better for me to stay and work through all these difficulties and negativity? -Apolloislost
There will be difficulties and negativity whether you're alone or with someone.

So, you have a choice: 1. Stay and practice presence with your relationship difficulties and negativity with someone.... or 2. Split up and practice presence with your lack-of-relationship difficulties and negativity alone.
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

meetjoeblack
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by meetjoeblack » Sat Oct 14, 2017 2:22 am

turiya wrote:
I realise that your partner is supposed to be your teacher, and the suffering is to draw you out of the ego kind. - Apolloislost
There will be difficulties and negativity whether you're alone or with someone.

So, you have a choice: 1. Stay and practice presence with your relationship difficulties and negativity with someone.... or 2. Split up and practice presence with your lack-of-relationship difficulties and negativity alone.
I can attest to this. I think its always better going through this crazy world with someone then alone but, I've gone through it alone so, I suppose I am biased.

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jukai
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by jukai » Wed Jan 24, 2018 7:05 am

Apolloislost wrote: I realise that your partner is supposed to be your teacher, and the suffering is to draw you out of the ego kind. If all this is true - why do I want to get a divorce so I can have some peace and quiet?
Yes, the partner is your teacher, but sometimes the lesson they teach you is that you need to get the hell out of the relationship !

You can be present with your partner, but you cannot force your partner to change his/her ways. If, despite your best efforts, all you get from your partner is unconsciousness and suffering, it's time to raise the white flag and think about self-preservation.

Eckhart himself says, "Some places are good places to walk out of." Surely, that applies to toxic relationships.

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aquarius123esoteric
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by aquarius123esoteric » Mon Jul 30, 2018 7:04 pm

My experience of long-standing relationships has shown that it is irrelevant whether two people are married to each other or not. Unless both partners make a genuine effort at remaining interested in each other, their union is bound to become increasingly stale, like a loaf of old bread, or as tasteless as a glass of wine or beer that has been standing too long. Even the best wine turns to vinegar when it is left unattended in the glass for long enough.

Therefore, it is hardly surprising that so many marriages these days are winding up in the divorce courts, even after thirty or forty years. Any marriage that has lost its spark so much that discoveries can no longer be made together, gets to be like an outworn pair of slippers that is waiting to be discarded. When the slippers have become so trodden down that they are increasingly uncomfortable to wear, the only way of sensibly recycling them is by putting them into the bin. And if one wishes to continue to enjoy the comfort of wearing slippers, the time has come to look out for a suitable new pair.

Everything is not lost if there is at least a degree of love and respect for each other left in our hearts and souls. Love is the greatest healer of all – it can heal anything, especially relationships. Even if a divorce in the right way in the end, why not make an effort to change the relationship from that of lovers who have lost their interest in and appetite for each other to that of friendship? Not for nothing is Libra the sign of marriage and partnerships. During each lifetime spent in this sign, ruled by Venus, human souls can acquire the gifts they need for healing any kind of relationship. Libra being an Air sign, they start with intelligence, in particular when applied to relationships of all kinds. It grows into an ever more potent tool when it comes together with the Venusian gifts of tact and diplomacy; a strong sense of justice and fairness; an ability to perceive all sides of any situation, relationship and argument; being capable of saying the right words at the right time and so pouring oil onto troubled waters. A love of good manners, a winning smile and affectionate nature are also part of Libra’s essential equipment for learning to cope with life on the physical plane and its most difficult aspect: human relationships.

With love - Aquarius
So long as this you fail to see:
That death precedes re-birth!
A gloomy guest you’ll always be,
Upon this darkling Earth.

Goethe

You can find my writings and download
them free of charge from my website
www.raysofwisdom.com

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kiki
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by kiki » Wed Aug 01, 2018 5:12 pm

Nicely said, Aquarius.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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aquarius123esoteric
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by aquarius123esoteric » Wed Aug 01, 2018 5:17 pm

Thank you, Kiki.
So long as this you fail to see:
That death precedes re-birth!
A gloomy guest you’ll always be,
Upon this darkling Earth.

Goethe

You can find my writings and download
them free of charge from my website
www.raysofwisdom.com

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aquarius123esoteric
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by aquarius123esoteric » Thu Aug 02, 2018 2:58 pm

Please take a moment to watch the following:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEFUBfoJOT0

With love - Aquarius

* * *
So long as this you fail to see:
That death precedes re-birth!
A gloomy guest you’ll always be,
Upon this darkling Earth.

Goethe

You can find my writings and download
them free of charge from my website
www.raysofwisdom.com

* * *

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sun Aug 05, 2018 1:06 am

This is what I've learned from ET: If you are making an enemy, an obstacle, or a means to an end of a person, thing or situation then look around, you are creating suffering for yourself and others.

Awareness brings us out of suffering because we are in the conscious modes of being - acceptance, enjoyment or enthusiasm.

If you can neither be in acceptance (it is what it is and this is what is required of me in this moment), enjoyment (pouring your joy into...) or enthusiasm (being the arrow flying towards a target in acceptance and enjoyment) then stop.

There are only three sane choices, and not all of them are within our capacity to fulfil
- accept, (and that means fully - not making enemy, obstacle or means to an end and therefore not suffering or causing suffering for others),
change (and not all things are within our power to change, and our wisdom and honesty to know which is which comes into it),
- remove yourself from the situation.

There is also great learning from Neale Donald Walsch on the subject - mostly that honesty, is the highest form of love - for self and others.

And, if the relationship is not serving (and bringing out) our highest selves, honesty can say that - 'the current form of this relationship no longer serves me (us)'.
Then you both who got into this relationship, employing loving honesty must decide between the three sane options - accept, change or remove yourselves from the situation.
It is possible to accept that the relationship or the participants have changed, and to change the relationship in awareness - that may mean divorce, that may mean a different understanding and commitment, but it doesn't have to mean making enemy, obstacle, or means to an end of each other or the relationship.

It's tricky though - love doesn't necessarily mean holding on to that which no longer serves us. It means sharing the best of each other in gratitude and generosity, even if that means separation, if one has grown to oil and the other has grown to water, separation is natural.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

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aquarius123esoteric
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by aquarius123esoteric » Sun Aug 05, 2018 1:26 pm

We are living in the Age of Aquarius, the age of truth and honesty, with ourselves and others, and with love for everything that shares our world with us. It is also the age of siblinghood and friendship with the whole of Creation. Whenever separations are necessary because two people are hindering each other's spiritual progress,which frequently is the case, those who are spiritually aware make special efforts not to part as enemies, but to transform the relationship into one of friendship.

When I reflect on the mysteries of life and death and the Universe as a whole, I become aware how all things work together for the good of the whole, and I realise that everything that happens anywhere in the whole of Creation has been planned and is held in the mind of the Great Architect and Master Designer of all worlds and all beings. The knowledge of this helps me to open my heart, soul and mind with confidence to the One, who holds the plan and takes care that it unfolds as it should and that therefore all life is moving forwards and upwards on the evolutionary spiral of life in a well ordered fashion.

This helps me to walk with a tranquil heart and an open mind to the beauty, the wonders and the glories of all the Universes that cannot be seen by earthly eyes, but only perceived by our minds. Knowing that God is in other people just the same as in me, makes it easy to be sincere and true in all my relationships. And I rejoice that truly, truly there is no death and that wherever there is love between human beings there can be no separation.
So long as this you fail to see:
That death precedes re-birth!
A gloomy guest you’ll always be,
Upon this darkling Earth.

Goethe

You can find my writings and download
them free of charge from my website
www.raysofwisdom.com

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aquarius123esoteric
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by aquarius123esoteric » Sun Aug 05, 2018 7:02 pm

The way we handle any kind of situations shows the wise ones in charge of us and the predestined plan of our lives, who are working in the spiritual background of our earthly existence, the degree of spiritual maturity we have reached at any given moment.
So long as this you fail to see:
That death precedes re-birth!
A gloomy guest you’ll always be,
Upon this darkling Earth.

Goethe

You can find my writings and download
them free of charge from my website
www.raysofwisdom.com

* * *

har89
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Re: Divorce and soul alignment

Post by har89 » Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:53 pm

Just try to talk with eachother. Only two of you can help yours and your relation. Someday we all become weaker and take decision which is very painful later on.

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