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Abusive Father and Husband

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:07 am
by mariec
My granddaughter has married an aggressive man. His controlling and stressful personality works well in business but not at home. When his 3 year old boy acts out his father says things like "I am going to beat your ass". His wife steps in to stop him but then he turns on her. He is a stress ball and is always angry. When he drinks he is worse. He calls her terrible names, threatens to leave her and take the kids away from her. He earns a lot of money and feels very powerful and entitled. He belittles her by saying if she does not like it she can go to work and earn the money. I think your get the picture. She is loosing her self-worth. I am not sure how I should advise her. If she leaves him and takes the children, she doesn't have the funds to survive...what to do.

Re: Abusive Father and Husband

Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2018 8:57 pm
by NuanceOfSuchness
This is quite relevant to my own current experience with wanting to steer the actions of a close family member. I can see that they're living out their choices at the detriment of their mental and physical health. I've tried in complete vein to control the situation for months. This created a further level of misery for me and them to the point where they didn't want to spend time with me. I'm learning now to relinquish my need to be actively involved with their choices and when an upheaval occurs for them, which so often does, I am here at my most attentive.