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Been battling with this toxic relationship. Need help!

Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:31 am
by zahara
I arrived here in the US 5 years ago. I got married to an old American man whom I met online. I was part of this site where you can get yourself an online bride and yes, I am one of those online brides. We talked online and eventually met while he was on one of those tours conducted to meet their supposed-to-be bride. He eventually asked me for marriage and seeing that he was good enough for a husband, I agreed. However, as marriage life drags on, he slowly became violent towards me both physically and mentally. He told me that I am only a woman he bought online to be his slave. The thing is, I have already invested so much into this relationship ---- love, time and effort. He never came to notice it. I have come to love him throughout these years and now, I don’t know what to do.

Re: Been battling with this toxic relationship. Need help!

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 3:56 pm
by jukai
I'm sorry this happened to you. What I have to say isn't the most encouraging, but hope it helps.

This man is clearly not someone you should be around anymore, for obvious reasons.

I don't think the amount of effort you invested into the relationship is a big consideration here. It's not that important. It's in the past. What is most important is your well-being and safety., i.e. today and tomorrow. From what you've said about this man, it doesn't sound like he is the kind who is going to change his ways. Plus, the fact that he is old means that he is very much set in his beliefs and in his ways.

Unfortunately, getting out of a marriage can be a nasty and involved process in America. But, I don't see a better solution for you.