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Loving unconditionally with boundaries?

Posted: Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:07 pm
by ScorpioGal
When in a relationship, how can one set healthy boundaries while also loving unconditionally? To me, the concepts seem contradict, as a boundary implies an ultimatum (respect these terms or I will not continue a close relationship with you, romantic or otherwise). Additionally, how can one not have expectations in a relationship while also having basic needs (loyalty, consideration, quality time, etc)?
Background: Currently in an abusive (verbal, emotional, psychological) relationship with a narcissist

Re: Loving unconditionally with boundaries?

Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2020 6:24 am
by Webwanderer
ScorpioGal wrote:
Sun Aug 30, 2020 12:07 pm
When in a relationship, how can one set healthy boundaries while also loving unconditionally?
Loving unconditionally or not in relationships has to do with making judgments of perceived wrong doing on the part of another. The boundaries are the measure of when such wrongdoing is seen to be committed. It only makes sense to have healthy boundaries in relationships. We all have them whether stated or not.

What those boundaries are differ from person to person. But a person can certainly leave a relationship if it isn't working to their satisfaction and still love and accept their partner as a person and as a spiritual being. One has to do with the actions of another, the other has to do with their fundamental nature and being. The two are quite distinct.

I have heard it said when painful acts are committed: hate the act, not the person.

WW