Confused.

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment
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tikey
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Re: Confused.

Post by tikey » Mon Nov 19, 2007 1:03 am

lilly83 wrote: but i do feel that i should just let go of these egoic desires and just enjoy the moments we have together as they are.

lilly83
Try sometimes not to think that you have any ego... just try to find out what YOU really want...
maybe you mispercieve the ego-wantings with your own... maybe they are your own wanting's not the egos'! Hey! Get Up! Awaken! Where is true Lilly???
Where is the FIRE??? Where is the desire??? I think you put on yourself a bucket of cold water when you say that "it is my ego which want's more from this boy"
YOU wan't more from that boy, not ego! It's normal! So go and get it! Be Hot! Take what you wan't from him! Just Do It! I believe in you!

As I would say about you.... you are very nice.... you have potential... but you lack some element of fire... and this spiritual stuff quench you a little bit....

say what you think

is there now more fire in you?

did sparks appeared in your eyes?

and is there a notty smile on your face :) :) :)

Tomek
Im just a cloudless sky :)

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lilly83
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Re: Confused.

Post by lilly83 » Mon Nov 19, 2007 3:32 am

Tikey,

now im even more confused as to what your saying!

Im just saying that yes i like this guy but he doesnt like me, so i should accept this and just enjoy the friendship for what it is, even though we have the close kinship connection we both agree that we have, i will just enjoy this friendship for what it is. I cant make him like me, although it would be nice, its obviously not meant to happen that way. does that make sense?

jac

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lilly83
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Re: Confused.

Post by lilly83 » Thu Nov 29, 2007 3:42 am

hi all, just thought i would let you all know what i have decided to do in this situation.Simply i told him that i loved him with all my heart and more but i have to say goodbye. I have found peace in this decision and i feel that it is the best decision for me and for him aswell. SOmetimes we need to let go of the ones we love in order for us to take on a new journey of learning, maybe we may meet again, but for now, this is my decision, for myself to grow and learn.

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Suzanne
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Re: Confused.

Post by Suzanne » Fri Nov 30, 2007 12:16 am

Dear jaclyn,

I know exactly how you feel, and it's a big relief. The conditioned world wants you to think you can't make these breaks and let love go, but you certainly can. You already have everthing you really need. I think this will give you the space to be your truer self.

Big hug!
Suzanne

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lilly83
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Re: Confused.

Post by lilly83 » Tue Dec 04, 2007 6:51 am

well i had a talk with this guy last night as i needed to sort some things out, and he basically told me that he doesnt think he has met his soulmate and this was very hard for me to hear but its something i guess i needed to hear in order to move on i suppose. I just have this feeling that came when i first met him that i had met him in my past lives, its like a feeling i cannot explain, and so this is why i feel like im deeply rooted with his soul in some way, i just need to know how i can let this feeling go even though i never really created it, it was always there when i first met him. I thought he was my soulmate but he doesnt think the same, so how do i get past this feeling which has always been there about him, i want to move on so i can remain his friend. but i cant until i let go of this feeling that holds me back from moving on, that sais he is your soulmate.

lilly83

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kiki
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Re: Confused.

Post by kiki » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:06 pm

It's hard enough letting go of things that are part of this "life", but to add ideas of "past life" relationships only complicates things further. However, (and I am not saying there is anything to reincarnation) this can be looked at differently. Maybe he is your "soul mate" and this is his way of releasing you to explore more deeply what you are. This would then be an act of deep compassion and love on his part because he is willing to allow you to grow, unfettered by him - in effect, he is sacrificing himself for your greater good. What has come across as a deliberate and conscious rejection by him is actually a subconscious action based upon a mutually agreed on decision that both of you have "forgotten" to protect the integrity of this present life and the lessons you are here to learn.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
---

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summer
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Re: Confused.

Post by summer » Tue Dec 04, 2007 9:37 pm

Well, that is a very interesting perspective, kiki,

And sheds light on some of the relationships where I have experienced rejection. Perhaps "the powers that be" know that ultimately our destiny is better ensured without the entanglements that many relationships seem to entail. Sometimes being on our own, gives us more freedom to be present in the moment.

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Webwanderer
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Re: Confused.

Post by Webwanderer » Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:13 pm

lily83 wrote:I just have this feeling that came when i first met him that i had met him in my past lives, its like a feeling i cannot explain, and so this is why i feel like im deeply rooted with his soul in some way, i just need to know how i can let this feeling go even though i never really created it, it was always there when i first met him.
Though you say you never really created the feeling that "he" was your soul mate, it may be that you had previously created a general belief in soulmates, a belief that was triggered with this man due to an initial chemistry between you. In any case it's a good exercise in the importance of accepting our aloneness in the world. We cannot hold another to us, even in idealism, without consequenses. When partnerships are made in freedom, they can truly enrich our lives. Anything less is a pathway to strife and pain. By releasing your perceived etherial relationship, or even the desire for one, you go a long way to living clearly in life as it is.

suraj
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Re: Confused.

Post by suraj » Wed Dec 05, 2007 5:38 am

May I recommend Osho . His books are a tonic for a lot of problems.
Be in love , don't become a lover.
Be in friendliness , not in friendship .
I AM

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lilly83
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Location: Australia

Re: Confused.

Post by lilly83 » Sat Dec 08, 2007 11:01 am

hi all again,

i have told myself in this siutation that i can remian frineds with this guy, but i feel like im denying my feelings that are still there for him. I just feel as though in my surrending to this situation i feel that well if i have surrended then why cant i remain his friend, but the reality is and i have to acknowledge this and not deny it, is that he doesnt like me in a romantic way but i do, my feelings are there for him, and im just struggling in terms of whther to let go of these feelings and remain his friend or should i give myself time to observe these feelings, and not see him for awhile until i have fully embraced my feelings and can see him as just a friend and not want more from him i.e a relationship. when i am away from him i feel fine, i have inner peace but its when i see him and then come back home i feel sad, so clearly i am attatching myself to these feelings for him. apart of me just wants to let go, wish him well and if we bump into eachother one day then we do, but the part that stops me is that he is probably the only person i know who understands being in awareness etc and i like sharing with him what i learn, so if i let go of him, i just feel as though i will have noone to share my learning with. But i know that when i see him now i do have feelings that want a relationship with him, and i just dont know what to do. should i allow myself time to get over this, or is that clinging to a story, or should i just continute to remain his friend and keep seeing him like i do, and just accept my feelings for him and let them go.

lilly83

Oswald2001
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Re: Confused.

Post by Oswald2001 » Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:10 am

If it were me, I would distance myself from him until the feelings are gone.

That's how it goes sometimes.

The feelings will go away...or morph into something manageable and acceptable...to you.

It just takes time.

Sometimes it takes a year or 2. Sometimes 5 or 10 years. Sometimes 150 years. :)

If you lived long enough..., you could be 'friends' with him and have appropriate feelings.

I have had this situation a few times in my life and the best thing for me was to walk away...permanently.

It was painful, but really, the only suitable solution.

Of course, only you know what it right for you.

But, as I understand your situation, I could easily view your walking away...permanently...as honoring yourself.


If it's meant to be...it will happen. (Or would have happened already?)

If it's not meant to be...nothing...absolutely nothing...will make it work. No matter how much pain you are willing to endure.

Why torture yourself?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :D

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