Non-Resistance to What Is

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment
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Craig
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Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by Craig » Sun Apr 20, 2008 5:34 am

What is accepting a person exactly as they are but non-resistance and surrender to what is?
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Ives
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by Ives » Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:32 am

You're right.
It's a beautiful practice.

A Name is a Label
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by A Name is a Label » Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:50 pm

? your question is confusing me

Craig
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by Craig » Fri May 02, 2008 5:57 am

A Name is a Label wrote:? your question is confusing me
My question relates to one of the ideas brought up in The Power of Now. Eckhart indicates that in order to truly love someone, you must love them exactly the way they are, without wanting to change one thing about them. This question simply ties the concept of loving someone just the way they are with Eckhart's teachings about surrender and not resisting what is.

Make sense?
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A Name is a Label
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by A Name is a Label » Thu May 08, 2008 1:49 pm

Ah gotcha, thank you. I was confused by the wording.

It sounds like love to me. Accepting someone as they are is non-resistance to what is. If the person you are with leaves their underwear lying on the floor, you have the choice to 1) get angry - "What a slob! He/She should be more considerate", or 2) love them for it - walk over the undies or pick em up; and if it really bugs you, simply ask them to pick it up.

I remember reading a part of a Byron Katie book where she says "So what if Steve watches a lot of TV? The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Steve watches a lot of TV."

Love is very difficult. It is a choice and a work in progress at ALL times.
Last edited by A Name is a Label on Mon May 12, 2008 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Craig
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by Craig » Thu May 08, 2008 5:16 pm

A Name is a Label wrote:
Love is very difficult. It is a choice and a work in progress at ALL times.
Indeed. And the difficult thing in egoic consciousness is to not romanticize the idea of loving a person without wanting to change them. "I love you just the way you are." Isn't that such a sweet, idealized, wonderful sentiment? But, at some point, reality is going to come in and test if that's really true. Do you really love someone exactly as they are? Really? All of their drama, the little habits of theirs that annoy your ego, the things that your ego perceives as lacking in them? Yes, it was a sweet sappy sentiment you felt there, but it was egoic, and that means no matter how romantic and idealized, it's divorced from reality. Besides, that "love" you were talking about is really just your ego's understanding of love. That means a "love" that's addictive and clingy- and even if it's neither of these two things, it will be a love that can very quickly turn into anger, hate, or perhaps even worse, indifference.

Ah, poor egoic brain. You didn't think this one through, did you? Of course, that's the problem, isn't it? It's you thinking anything through that's the problem. I don't mean to be rude, but maybe it would be better for you to stop thinking altogether. Yes, you're not really needed anymore. It's probably best if you just curled up in a corner and died.
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A Name is a Label
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by A Name is a Label » Mon May 12, 2008 1:24 am

Haha, I've had that convo with my ego before!

A very effective thing I've been doing is hugging myself when I feel self-judgment rising up. I say "I love you Ryan. I love you for (insert "bad" quality here)"

Do the same for the person you are with. Love them for their "annoyances" or quirks... remember: you have them, too.

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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by Sighclone » Mon May 12, 2008 5:32 am

Craig -

You are a harsh little boy! :)
Ah, poor egoic brain. You didn't think this one through, did you? Of course, that's the problem, isn't it? It's you thinking anything through that's the problem. I don't mean to be rude, but maybe it would be better for you to stop thinking altogether. Yes, you're not really needed anymore. It's probably best if you just curled up in a corner and died.
..very funny...

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by James » Mon May 12, 2008 2:54 pm

Accepting what is does not mean we have to love everything a person does, that would be like trying to turn a perceived negative into positive. We still may discuss things about a relationship that we would prefer to be different, such as "dear, can you please not leave your underwear on the floor?" But if it continues we just accept that is what they do, until they don't do it anymore. Maybe they will change, maybe not. We don't need to call it good or bad, the acceptance stays the same.

Likewise, there are events in the world that we will never love, such as man's acts of cruelty. If we feel inclined, we can still work for change in the world, without engaging in mental resistance. Meanwhile, we can accept that these things happen, and be inwardly at peace; that is the non-resistance.

James
"Awareness is already present, already here, already now; before you try to be more.... In that recognition there's no effort, there's just acknowledgment"..."Awareness is not something you can understand, it's something you are."

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entelechy
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by entelechy » Mon May 12, 2008 4:44 pm

Craig wrote:"I love you just the way you are." Do you really love someone exactly as they are? Really? All of their drama, the little habits of theirs that annoy your ego, the things that your ego perceives as lacking in them?
To love someone as he / she is requires for you to first recognize him/her for who s/he really is. Who are they in essence? Are they their pains? Their dramas, their idiosyncracies... their "nasty", "disgusting" habits?

But of course, you wouldn't see another who who he really is if you cannot see your Self for who you really are, AND remember it, at all times.

The fundamental question still remains: "Who am I?"

Therein lies the Truth that will solve all problems and banish all fears.

Besides, that "love" you were talking about is really just your ego's understanding of love. That means a "love" that's addictive and clingy- and even if it's neither of these two things, it will be a love that can very quickly turn into anger, hate, or perhaps even worse, indifference.
Once you know who you really are, there will be no room to love this way again :)
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Craig
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by Craig » Tue May 13, 2008 4:48 am

entelechy wrote: To love someone as he / she is requires for you to first recognize him/her for who s/he really is. Who are they in essence? Are they their pains? Their dramas, their idiosyncracies... their "nasty", "disgusting" habits?

But of course, you wouldn't see another who who he really is if you cannot see your Self for who you really are, AND remember it, at all times.

Once you know who you really are, there will be no room to love this way again :)
Indeed, but so long as we're trapped in egoic consciousness, what I've described will remain the case.
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lilly83
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Re: Non-Resistance to What Is

Post by lilly83 » Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:50 am

Dear All,

I believe and know by practice that once we know the truth of who we are we can love unconditionally, accepting things, people, places, events as they are. Because we no longer want nor resent anything, our egoic mind dissolves. if we dont like a situation we are in, we take observed aware action to remove ourselves from the situation, we do not react. Action and reaction are very different. Taking action we accept what is, reaction is resiting what is and reacting to try and change the situation. Iv had some close friends who have done some things that could be labeled by the mind as hurtful, but i still have unconditional love for them and have full forgiveness to them, as i accept them for who they are and know that we are all here to learn, and i just have compassion and empathy for them, because I know i was once in their position in one of my many past lives. We are all one. When your one with yourself, there isnt that much that can get on your nerves, and if it does, then change it, we all have choice.

Regards
Lilly83

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