I do not live in the U.S. and the situation i am in, in the country where i live, does not allow me to take action right now, mainly for economic reasons. So i do understand that:
However, i am in a place right now where the pain that i have to live with everyday has brought me to practice presence almost constantly. i do not have a choice: i either do that or go into traditional medicine with all the antidepressants that in the past caused me severe health issues. i can't live the situation now. no action can be taken. i have to accept what is.karmarider wrote:Acceptance is the absence of resistance to what is. It's doesn't mean you have to put up with your husband's manipulation. From what you have written, your husband has created a situation for himself where he can guiltlessly take advantage of you. Allowing him to to do that is not acceptance. Sure, love your husband, understand his pain, see that ultimately we are all blameless...but also protect yourself.
My husband has had this behaviour on and off for the past 7 years. we have been married almost 20 years. it started right after we moved to this new country when he had an affair claiming i was making him unhappy (i had a very dense painbody, i have to admit). he then told me he wanted to separate and at the end decided to stay for my son. he claimed he needed to fall back in love with me and later on he said he succeeded. after a while, about 3 years, my pain body became dense again and he repeated the same process saying again that i was making him very unhappy, he did not love me any longer and that the fact that he is approaching his 50s makes him realize that he has the right to be happy with another woman. Even better, be alone for a while and then start dating other women. he said he would stay in the marriage till my son graduates and lives for college in August. With what i know now, reading ET, i can see his unconsciousness very clearly, and what he says hurts less and less.
I know i can't find salvation in the future, however, at this point I hope I will be able to take action in august . I do not want to hurt my son by taking action now and not having a place for me or my son to go, or money to help us both.
Andy and Robin, thank you for your book suggestions. I am not able to purchase anything at this point as I do not have a credit card. so whatever i can find in bookstores here i buy when i can, but not much is available. fortunately i have all of ET books and I can see him on youtube.