romantic love

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

Re: romantic love

Postby Sighclone » Tue May 11, 2010 10:42 pm

My experience is that romantic love has an element of fantasy in it which gets replaced by the coarser realities of egoic life. It is all ego based, of course...that's the "romantic" part -- "this person is so wonderful to me and for me!!" Awakening is the end of identifying oneself as a person. "Reflecting back" implies duality also...perhaps "co-resonates" is a better term?

"Romantic love" has its place, but it is just another form of egoic attraction -- Eckhart warns that it turns to hate and anger often, unlike the agape love we share in unity.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: romantic love

Postby Tommes » Wed May 12, 2010 10:25 am

But is it because this egoic attraction is so strong, it is a portal to awakening?
How to deal with the 'romantic love' when you encounter it by yourself? Is it again enough to be aware that it is the ego playing up?

By awakening you recognize yourself in others, but could you then still 'fall in love'? Or is it then more the sense that is feels good inside?
Maybe co-resonates is a better term indeed! But I think you can't still describe what makes a person to be loved more then an other person, so that you prefer that person more then somebody else as your lover.
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Re: romantic love

Postby Sighclone » Wed May 12, 2010 5:24 pm

But I think you can't still describe what makes a person to be loved more then an other person, so that you prefer that person more then somebody else as your lover.


Good point here. In form, the "little me", the separate self has preferences for everything, food, ambient noise, firmness of mattress, reading material, color of clothing, recreational activities, etc. And it also has a preference for attractive women. But I have experienced a deep shared wonder and love with women and men to whom I am not physically attracted. Not a shared sexual love, mind you, but more a shared interest in something like music or literature.

But I can still recognize that physical attraction to certain women when it surfaces to my attention. The question becomes what priority to give it...or, from a more nondual perspective, when I answer "yes" to everything that appears in my life (loving what is), am I ready for a "quality no" from the other person? Or can I honor the other elements of my life, like my marriage, and not pursue the other woman?

In general, my perspective on "lila in maya" or the game /theater/ dream of life in form is that we should fully engage it, but not take it too seriously...shit does happen. But the more risks we take, the more opportunities appear...nothing ventured, nothing gained. Even if the "thing that is gained" is a transient illusory ripple in the field of pure awareness.

This topic is important and under-discussed. Romantic love seems to demand full attention, "blinding" us to many things. I think, either from a unity perspective or an egoic one, that we need to acknowledge any "blinders" which may be appearing -- if they are real, they are limitations and they will change.


Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: romantic love

Postby jollymon » Wed Aug 13, 2014 10:36 pm

Regarding the earlier post Re: romantic love

Postby Sighclone » Tue Feb 09, 2010 8:28 am

Here is a very old Adya comment on relationships:

How does one know for certainty that the other is not separate. There is an assumption that the self is part of a whole "unity". This presumption is the basis for much of ET teaching but what is the proof of this presumption?
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