ego and relationship

Talk about relationships in the context of Spiritual Enlightenment

ego and relationship

Postby weichen » Sat Aug 26, 2006 3:16 pm

Many years ago, I was a fan of Dr.Laura radio program. A caller asked her what she thinks a good marriage should be. I remember her answer: the two of you go stand in front of a big mirrow, and tell me what do you see. When you see one big cloud instead of two distinctly separated entity, then this is a good marriage.

I did not really understand what she meant until many years later I ran into PON. ET taught us that ego needs constant conflict to define its boundary between itself and its environment. Separation paradigm is the foundation to sustain the ego.

Indeed, everytime the boundary between you and your spouse blurred, the marriage improved. In contrast, if you do many things for your spouse with a more clear boundary between the two of you, the relationship actually worsened!
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Postby heidi » Mon Aug 28, 2006 12:38 am

One plus One equals exponentially more than two. :) And it's so true that good relationships are made from constant compromise (ego thinks this is a negative word, but it's a very postitive word).
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Postby A Name is a Label » Mon Oct 01, 2007 6:19 am

heidi, would you mind elaborating on how you can integrate "compromise" as a positive thing? I just read that and immediately had an adverse reaction to the word. Thanks :) any thoughts are greatly appreciated.
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Postby heidi » Mon Oct 01, 2007 2:50 pm

If you leave that third party - the ego - out of your relationships then they flow naturally (or, realizing ego's going to be there just like a partner, you witness ego's workings and chose not to participate in its power trip); things aren't taken personally; "teamwork" happens without any feeling of measure or comparison.

When you simply accept what is, it's making a compromise with Reality. In relationships, there's often more ego posturing going on, but the dynamics are the same. The person is part of your reality and your relationship is what it is. So, if your ego doesn't like the word compromise (since somehow it feels that compromise diminishes its power, when in fact it Is power unto itself), how about acceptance - they are both the same thing.
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Postby suraj » Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:49 pm

So, if your ego doesn't like the word compromise (since somehow it feels that compromise diminishes its power, when in fact it Is power unto itself), how about acceptance - they are both the same thing
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Nice! Heidi , u just got urself out of a tricky situation . My EGO was revolting over the word - 'compromise' :)
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