Being Human

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Re: Being Human

Postby ZenDrumming » Tue Jul 24, 2012 12:56 am

smiileyjen101 wrote:Does this have anything in common with the traffic situations and the 'how to behave' notions?


Not that I am aware of.

smiileyjen101 wrote:Describe 'obsessive' for me in this light, is it fear filled? awe filled? What is its energy?


It's rooted in a fear of loss/inadequacy I would say. It seems like every time I truly care about something, or find something that is filled with magic, all of my good intentions of becoming closer with it end up unintentionally driving it further away. Miscommunication and being misinterpreted are areas I'm very well versed in, and it is truly amazing how certain improbable things can happen to prevent me from reaching something. Because of this I kind of stopped caring about a lot of things for a while. My mind cleared a lot, and I'd fill it with trivial things just to pass the time. But some things come along I can't ignore anymore, and I realize that they can bring me closer to the life I want to live. And the harder I try, the more I screw it up. It's like the notions of "almost there but not quite" and "just a little taste" are recurring themes. I have tried witnessing and accepting this, but it seems like no matter how at peace with it I am, it keeps happening eventually. I honestly wonder if certain people are meant for certain roles and experiences, and that I'd just do better to accept that things will not work out in certain areas.

I spend so much time in my head and filling it with trivial/mind-numbing things, that when something or someone comes along to awe me, I have a hard time going back to the mundane stuff, and I keep worrying that those moments will never happen again. If I blew my chance and ruined it. These are the things that deserve my focus, and I want to make them happen, hence the inability to stop thinking about it in favor of something else like reading a book. Like this girl. The last time I saw her, I wanted to tell her how I feel, but every thing I ended up saying/projecting to/around her could easily be seen by her as a sign of rejection or that I'm not interested. She could feel the same way, and I could be telling her "no". I could live with her just not feeling the same connection I do, but I can't handle if I actually pushed her away when what I feel is so REAL. I have this thing in me that keeps pushing away anything I care about or that cares about me. It's the only aspect of my existence I find to be solid, at this point. It may have to do with me feeling not worthy and not enough, but I don't know how I'd go about overcoming that. Telling myself "I am worthy" doesn't do much when I feel incapable of expressing myself.

This weekend I also experienced a ton of strange synchronicity, but once I started trying to explain the situations or understand them, they stopped happening. It's like it's dangling right in front of me just to tease me, and I don't really know what to make of it. Life feels like a big tease.

Blah... at least I know that this perspective is likely to change. I may just not be mature enough to handle certain things.
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Re: Being Human

Postby Sighclone » Tue Jul 24, 2012 3:28 am

But some things come along I can't ignore anymore, and I realize that they can bring me closer to the life I want to live. And the harder I try, the more I screw it up.


ZD - You have read enough nondual writings to look hard at this phrase and see the problem, yourself. If you are "wanting" to lead a life that you are not living now, and the efforts to change that life have essentially failed ("almost there"), you have two choices: 1) really really really really accept the life you do have, find the moment to moment joys in the little synchronicities you have, etc. 2) in your effort to change your life, stop all the "harder I try" type of activities that you have been doing and do something else (either the same kind of activity but with more or less intensity -- OR -- some entirely different kind of activity which may not be so obviously part of the "path" to "the life I want to live," but in some oblique way may enable it -- think "outside the box."

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Being Human

Postby ZenDrumming » Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:04 pm

Thanks, Andy. You're right. I really got into it yesterday, but feel more clear about it today. I just get stuck on some things, and only time can bring clarity to it, it seems. I'm still grappling with instant gratification issues and impatience, but those moments are becoming less common.
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Re: Being Human

Postby smiileyjen101 » Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:00 pm

ZenD said: I think I just have to work on my obsessive tendencies when I find something, or someone, or a situation, magical. When I let go is the only time it comes back to me (in spades), but letting go is the hard part!

:)Jen said: Does this have anything in common with the traffic situations and the 'how to behave' notions?

ZenD said: Not that I am aware of.



Hmm, in traffic likely you've learned to let go - yes?
and your friend is saying....'whatever' to get you to reconnect with fear - that there are certain ways you 'should' and 'shouldn't' respond, yes?

It's a funny thing that what we can see clearly in another, is a mirror back to ourselves -

Your friend making enemy/obstacle of your processing of the stimuli and responses to traffic,
is no different in process to
you making enemy/obstacle of your processing of the stimuli and responses to 'things magical'.

Very much, what you resist, persists.

For so long as you make enemy, obstacle of 'holding onto' anything, the focus will be on the 'holding on'.

If you want to spend your time and energies on your obsessions go ahead, don't then be surprised if you are spending your time and energies in your obsessions.

Life feels like a big tease.

:lol: yes, it is, accept it, enjoy it, play with it.

darn... I had this real cute 'peek-a-boo' smiley that won't stick.... :lol:
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Being Human

Postby ZenDrumming » Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:38 pm

smiileyjen101 wrote:If you want to spend your time and energies on your obsessions go ahead, don't then be surprised if you are spending your time and energies in your obsessions.


Good points. I just have to remember to keep bringing myself back in. It does look so silly when I'm not in the midst of it.
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Re: Being Human

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:26 pm

I just have to remember to keep bringing myself back in. It does look so silly when I'm not in the midst of it.


That's an interesting noticing ZenD do you notice the difference in frequency?

I was roaming around on youtube yesterday and watched a couple of the Abraham-Hicks videos on there, they were talking about the frequencies (yay!!) and termed the frequency/resonance of being the joy and love of the all as 'the vortex' and finding it, recognising it when you're in it and staying longer in it/ on it as a frequency. In order to do this we need to meet it at a like vibration - so lift our vibration to match. This is something I 'know' keenly even in communicating on the level of spirit - that they have to slow their vibration to meet us, and we have to raise our vibration to be on the same frequency as them. And then we have to 'know' that frequency is real just like all the other radio 'stations' Radio one with everything is an incredible station/frequency to spend time on/in and is the one we are on in our peaceful/joyful moments.

One of them mentioned that when we fall to fear / lower our vibration/frequency how alone and cut off we feel when that happens. That sometimes mistakenly we 'think' we need to hone in even tighter/closer on the issue/element of our discontent. This 'tightening' squeezes us into an even lower frequency, and that's when we can't see the forest for the trees.

We cannot operate freely or as effectively at that level and we need to 'open up', go wider, let go of honing our attention so tightly. Step back, breathe out, let go of our 'position' on a thing.

In doing so we give it space, and in the space is the clarity and the solution - giving source room to operate and unfold.

When you were one with the music at that concert you mentioned- when you embraced the all and your joy was abundant and generous - that is the frequency / vibration of being one with everything. So they suggest when you tighten up and focus too tightly on a thing, to find the higher vibration, and you do that by stepping back, breathing out, widening your perspective - for this is the perspective of source through you - as you rightly noticed with music - it comes through us, not from us.

They suggested a technique when you notice your vibration (and therefore the frequency you are on) slowing, lowering, to go more general - widen your perspective, and in that give source room to flow through you.

I probably haven't said that too well, but it resonated for me and I thought of you when I heard their explanation of it.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Being Human

Postby ZenDrumming » Wed Aug 01, 2012 5:48 am

That was very clear, and well described. The "frequency" framework has been helpful to me. I like the simplicity, the feeling-based guidance of it. I think I may have mentioned an interesting frequency check related to music I like to practice. I'll put on a calming piece of music that resonates with me deeply, and notice my perception of it. I can often tell if I'm not experiencing it directly, and if so gently begin to tune in to the sounds rather than my own mind.

I had a fun experience I thought I'd share. I was with a couple friends recently, and our conversation kind of drifted in the direction of collectively "open" and transcendental experiences, and the sharing of them. They were telling me that without psychedelics, these experiences won't happen unless you undergo years of strict meditation. I suggested that maybe their belief of that is the very thing preventing it. Somehow, within a couple minutes, we were there (or should I say HERE). There was no music or drugs, and we were connected, even if only for a second.

I think that a big tightening of awareness comes when we question whether the bliss was real or not. I feel it as a sinking feeling in the gut, a literal tightening of the insides, as the thought "oh.. I guess it wasn't real/lasting" creeps in. And we always tend to try to DO something about it. Why not just wave at the thought as it sails by? Noticing that first thought before it catches you is crucial (I'm going deep sea fishing tomorrow.. have ocean metaphors on the mind haha)

It does get easier.. because it's the easiest thing there is. Eyes wide open.. all the time (stole that line from King Crimson :) )
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Re: Being Human

Postby smiileyjen101 » Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:28 pm

Lucky you.. I do hope you find the frequency of the sea.... yum, yum, yum :)
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Being Human

Postby ZenDrumming » Mon Aug 06, 2012 8:07 pm

Since there's no "Being Octopus" thread, I figured I'd link this here.

http://www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/ ... icle/6474/
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Re: Being Human

Postby smiileyjen101 » Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:29 pm

What a wonderful sharing so full of joy, compassion and respect, thank you ZenD.
In a back room, he would open the top of Athena’s tank. If she consented, I could touch her.


Ah, if only we always were so respectful. It's no wonder Athena embraced the writer. Like people, most animals respond to respect and humility and appreciation, the non-verbal communication is palpable, and many animals rely on their sense of 'feel' in the current atmosphere - so yes again the 'vibration' we are giving off. Fear is palpable, as is joy, curiosity, kindness and empathy. Some of our greatest encounters can be with those from other species, and yes some might be a 'bitch' either sometimes or for whatever reason most of the time, but then again so can humans. With all the expression of emotions, how can any species not 'learn' who they really are, humans are slowly catching on :wink:
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Re: Being Human

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:11 am

We spoke earlier about the power of naked authenticity.

Here's a guy who makes an absolutely gob-smacking, soul touching, there are not enough superlatives in no words.... to describe the impact.

If nothing else ever teaches you to BE REAL.... may he, or more, may the audience's reaction - may it 'just'...

touch you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNHi7Wa7vpc

It is truly worth watching closely and fully until the very end

namaste
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Being Human

Postby DavidB » Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:33 pm

I didn't find that dance all that appealing, not really sure what everyone is so excited about?
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Being Human

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:44 pm

As your tagline says David, understanding is optional :wink:
What touches one straight to the heart, or many, getting in touch with theirs, may not be anywhere near the same experience for others. Everyday people sail past sunrises and sunsets, and everything and everyone in their path without noticing, without connecting, without appreciating the individual and the shared experience just by 'being' there fully.

For me, what was exciting, and what was shared in the raw meeting of emotions brought about by his artistic expression of that amazingly touching song has many layers of meaning, all from different points of starting, all experienced separately yet together. That he gave of himself to open those up, that he did it with clear honesty - from the very beginning he warned everyone he would take their hearts, their fears, their souls and then give them back to them changed. That's a pretty audacious statement to make in such an arena - as met by the titters and no doubt pre-judgements on hearing it.

That he then took that music, those lyrics and 'portrayed' them in the way that he did, somewhere along the way there was a shift. Somewhere along the way all the pre-judgements were laid down in favour of going 'with' him - of giving him (my) heart and soul in trust, accepting that yes there are fears, yes there are memories and sad emotions that lay dormant, protected by layers of hardening against such innocence and beauty and authenticity as to allow yourself to so fully 'feel' and be one with the music.

How many people would be so brave? In that I mean as to be so brave as to say I will touch your heart, I will take it and hold it and dance with it and show you that I know how and where it hurts, I will dance with it and caress it and make it one with me so that for a little while you can rest and not carry the burden of it, let it glide with me in the deep sensitivity of this haunting music that also accepts your fears and your pain.

His interpretation would likely have touched many in different ways, evoking deep buried feelings they all but never allow to come to the surface. As in all things - if you are willing. Willing to suspend the thinking mind for the feeling experience, willing to trust a stranger with your innermost fears and feelings. Willing to let the core of what that song brings to you - and for some it may be absolutely nothing - for others it is a confronting song on its own. I know of a family that played it at their son and brother's funeral, it has become the theme song for their grief; my surviving daughter used to play it over and over in her room after the death of her younger sister, it holds for her an unspoken, and yet broken by life, promise. For me on hearing it, it holds all those buckets of tears of a mother. To layer this with a young man willing to stand up there and say - hey folks, I know you all carry pain and fears - isn't that audacious enough in the environment? And then to say and I'm going to honour it, connect with you, and with it, and interpret it into this performance- who does that?

If pain and fear was a dance - he nailed it!

As a society we would rather avert our eyes, medicate or counsel - he didn't do that - he interpreted, he accepted, he shared and he made beauty of the reality of it - the responses - in the audience, in the youtube comments from kids crying in computer labs but 'cleansed' and celebrating their connection with it - in a world that has lost much of its compassion and empathy, in a world becoming desensitised to pain and suffering, in a world often too afraid to look pain in the face without wanting to drug it or avoid it or cover it or make an enemy of it - this kid held it, expressed it and said hey look folks, it's okay, you can still dance with this. I celebrate him, seriously, I celebrate him. He took his own pain and made a dance of it - he could have taken that pain out on others as many do, but no, he made a dance of such beauty out of it, and shared it.

That's what everyone got so excited about.

If your pain was a dance - what would it look/feel like? He nailed mine.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Being Human

Postby kiki » Wed Aug 08, 2012 3:51 am

Wow - thanks for posting.
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Re: Being Human

Postby DavidB » Thu Aug 09, 2012 5:09 am

As your tagline says David, understanding is optional :wink:


Yes, indeed. :)

If pain and fear was a dance - he nailed it!


I believe you.

I didn't see it personally though, still not sure why everyone felt he did what he claimed he would do. I've seen many dances in my time, and many that have moved me to tears and deep felt emotion, I just felt that this particular dance wasn't all that impressive. I am certainly glad though so many people were moved by his interpretive dance and were able to enjoy his performance and don't doubt that people genuinely felt what they did.

Thanks for the explanation.

If your pain was a dance - what would it look/feel like?


Not really sure. I've been really moved by some dance, but can't say whether there has been any representations of my particular form of pain in dance. If I ever see something that I find impressive/exciting, I'll be sure to let you know. :)
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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