From The Mouth Of Babes
If this sets you wondering what that might mean, read on to discover what joy children can unintentionally bring. The quotes that now follow are original ones. They are filled with the innocence of childhood that we adults have long left behind.
Jack, age 3, sat watching his mother breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he ventured forth: ‘Mum, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’
Steven, age 3, hugging and kissing his mother goodnight: ‘I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window.’
A friend’s four year old grandchild came to my house to meet my cat, a whopper who weighs 14 pounds – 1 stone for those across the pond. He is a Himalayan with tabby markings, huge and soft and kind. The child went over to him and looked him all over. When I asked her what she was looking for, she replied: ‘How do you take the air out?’ Her mother had deflated her floaties because she did not want them around when no one was in the pool.
Brittany, age 4, had earache and needed a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mother explained it was a childproof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’
Susan, age 4, was drinking juice when she got hiccups. ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said: ‘It makes my teeth cough.’
Dennis, age 4, stepped onto the bathroom scales and wanted to know: ‘How much do I cost?’
Marc, age 4, was engrossed in a young couple hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: ‘Why is he whispering into her mouth?’
Clinton, age 5, was in his bedroom looking worried. When his mother asked what was troubling him, he replied: ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?’
James, age 4, was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: ‘What happened to the flea?’
Tammy, age 4, was with her mother when they met an elderly rather wrinkled woman her mother knew. Tammy looked at the lady for a while and then asked: ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’
One Sunday morning my daughter and I went to church and took part in a service I shall never forget. Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust.’ He would have continued but at that moment my very intently listening daughter leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, ‘Mummy, what is butt dust?
Every day without a good laugh – or at least a chuckle – in my view is a wasted one.
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