Drastic awaking- please help

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Drastic awaking- please help

Postby samuel » Thu Sep 10, 2015 10:29 am

Hello guys,
I would like to ask you a very important question for me.
Im a 20 years old guy from Europe.
During the first half of this year i was doing my internship in Brazil.
In February i had a really drastic spiritual awaking. I had never believed in God before this experience.

I had a week or two when I felt really very bad- i may call it even a depretion and there was no reason for that. After this week or two i experienced the big shift. From minute to minute i was feeling so free, i was looking around me and even walls of the room were really alive. At that moment i realized who Jesus and Budha were and I remember that i had known how the pyramides were build- I could not explain that, it was just a feeling that i could not desccribe by words. It definitely convinced me that God exists.

Later on I had this kind of situation very often for 2-3 weeks. I lost 7 kilograms even thiugh I had been really slim (from 68kg to 61kg in a week, 190cm), I had those feelings very similar to schysofreny, what was really drastic. During one moment I decided that I am not going to continue doing my university and I was asking myself: "how could i live in this big lie for 19 years?". I felt like i finally found out what the true life was about. Sometimes i told people or wrote something that i couldnt believe later on it was written by me. Almost all of time during this period I spent by reading books and watching some spiritual teachers.

After approximately 3-4 weeks everything stabilized, i was feeling well. I felt my intuition very strongly and i was really happy all the time. I didnt need to make any planns anymore, i knew every decision I made was the best decision I could do.

Now I am coming to the point. During the process I told something to my parents back in Europe- mainly because I decided to cut of the university. I was guessing they will be glad about it, but they got really affraid of their loved son and what was even worse for them that I was far away from them in Brazil, so they couldnt help me i knew i didnt need their help at that time, it would be even worse. They were never into spirituality and we nevertalked about it, but i guess they somehow believe in it because they are really affraid about reading a spiritual book or something connected to it.

They didnt know what was really happening with me and they could not sleep and sometimes not even go working due to the affraidness. My dad is an electrician engeniar and my mom a doctor, what makes them were racional.

Later on I spent 2-3 more months in Brazil where I completly stabilized and I went back to Europe with intention that I will show them that I am really ok.

Since I come home, we were like completly different people to each other. It was really difficult to comunicate together whereas they were only insisting me to go to psychiatrist, whereas they wanted to help me a lot and they did not consider it could be something spiritual- and not at all something positive.

For 2-3 weeks after ciming back home I was still at that high stabilized state feeling my intuition, but later it become really difficult for me to look how my whole family is suffering because of me. I could not help them and they could not help me. It became very difficult for me and I started asking why my family, those people that love me the most, are doing this to me. I was a bit angry with them and I my intuition and all spiritual stuff was desapearing. My ego raised and from frustruation I closed myself in my room and for 2 months I could not talk to anyone. I even wanted but my heart was broken.
I could not even meditate or read a book. Things that i did before all days. I just woke up and was waiting for the evening.

Twi weeks ago since now I went to a spiritual camp, but i did not really enjoy it, because my heart was still broken and i had really big ego that did not even allow me to talk to other people. I did not recognize myself, but at least it got into that stage that i could talk about it and ask for help.

From the camp i called my parents that i cant come back home and i am going to the beach for vacation. I believe its better for both parties. I dont know when im coming back yet. I need to spend some time with myself.
My parents already realized that they need to make the first step and decided to talk to some people that had this kind of experiences. They are more opened to it but still cant accept it- even if they wanted- they do their best. And also they are affraid something similar could happen to them if they open to much to it.

Now I am pretty ok, but all spiritual stuff is gone. Now im not sure what i should do- i just cannot go back to the university because its not something i want to do- and i could see that the university is a big lie of this socciety if somebody does not want to be a proffesional in something. If i went back to study, i know i would have a mask on me and I would do something that im convined deeply within myself that is not right for me.

I want to ask how probable it is that i would gain my intuition back again? Is it just hidden and waiting unless it can manifest again or am i at the beggining where i had been before everything?

I dont want to throw it all away and Im really decided to do whatever to involve spiritualy.

Im not wanting to get the intuition and the conectiveness with the universe in an egoistic way, just want to know if it would be possible to get it back trough some practicies whereas i alreadey gained it or if i am back at the whole beggining? I really feel that i could help other people to discover themselves and become conciouse.

I heard that spirituality cant realy get lost once you gain it, but i really have a feeling i lost it.
Does anybody has an experience like this?
I would appretiate every little help.
Thanks a lot.
samuel
 
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Sep 10, 2015 9:26 pm

For the most part, a spiritual awakening is simply a recognition of who you really are, a realization of something of your true nature that your early life training didn't offer. Even though you've seen there is a greater understanding to life however, you still have to live it. Don't be overly concerned that the initial awakening experience has subsided a bit. It happens, and it's quite natural. The experience has planted its seed however, and it will grow over time. Look for it, but don't judge its pace. Trust in your own inner being to be there and help guide you. It will. Emotions are key.

As far as your family is concerned I suggest you be considerate of them, but remember, it's your life. You are responsible for what you do with it, especially now that you have a sense of the larger reality.

That said, there is no right or wrong in the larger sense, only opportunities for experience through a creative approach to life. And make no mistake, you will create your life experience - either through aware intent, or blind conditioning. Doing nothing is just as creative as anything else. Guess what it creates...

Life can be a whole lot of fun to one who lives through love and appreciation. It can also be difficult and problematic for one who lives through judgment and condemnation - especially self-judgment and condemnation. And while we each get to choose, our previous choices will have momentum and are likely to manifest as the easiest choices. This is where an awakened perspective can help make wiser choices than those of habit.

I encourage you to see life as opportunity to explore and experience wonderful things. Love others. Love self. Appreciate at every opportunity. The rewards will be a great life experience.

WW
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby dijmart » Fri Sep 11, 2015 1:52 am

It's very common for the ego to creep back in which makes you feel you "lost" this awareness that you are. All thats happened is that it's been covered up by thought or more specifically identification with thought and/or emotion. You can't lose what you ARE, it's still there, watching and waiting for you to clear the cobwebs once again to recognize it. I've found that once the awakening process has started it's just a matter of time before you awaken again. It may be a glimpse at a time, but the door has opened, even if just a crack and it can't be closed again.

As far as your parents...well, I went against my parents wishes for me at 18 yo and now I'm 45. Life goes on and they get over it.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby aquarius123esoteric » Sat Sep 12, 2015 3:04 pm

Dear Samuel,

From reading your notes about your awakening and the things that followed I get the impression that it is very likely that your energies have changed during the time that has passed since.

If you are not afraid of astrology and your mind is not closed to it, how about letting me have your birth details, i.e. the date and place of your birth, as well as the time as accurately as possible? You could do this either here on the forum or by private message.

I am not in business and I don’t do birthchart interpretations, but I am willing to have a look at your birthchart and then tell you about the energies that are presently affecting you. It would be helpful if you could also give me the date of your awakening.

With love – Aquarius

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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby RCharles » Sun Sep 13, 2015 7:01 pm

Hi, Samuel:

You have experienced what is called a "Spiritual Emergency." If you search on that term, you'll get a lot more information. In a nutshell, you've had a spiritual realization that threatens the ego, and the ego doesn't know what to do with it, leading to confusion.

You are also dealing with the natural process of becoming an adult. That is, you are breaking away from your parents and becoming your own person, which means figuring out who and what you want to be in life.

All of these are normal life processes, and they will work out over time. Try not to be afraid, but just be open to your experiences day by day.

Your spiritual experience was a peak experience. Don't try to get it back. Also don't fight the ego. These experiences--the dance of ego and insight--will go on throughout the rest of your life. You may have periods of more insight and other periods of more ego. Just observe it all, accept it all, and try to do your best to remain at peace through meditation and observation.

As time goes on, you will sense that you have callings to do certain things. Follow those inner callings. That is your built-in inner compass (or if you believe in God, it is God present in you) guiding you. Your compass will guide you at each step if you quietly listen and follow.

Peace be with you!
Chuck
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby samuel » Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:15 am

Hello guys,
Thank you very much for your help. I do really appriciate it. The last week was really difficult for me, i had another process- this time not mental but i had pain of the body and almost all these symthoms:
( http://in5d.com/symptoms-of-energy-shifts/ )

I know my whole process is happening for a reason, but I am really glad when somebody tells me why its happening and what it could be. Once again, thank you so much for you replies, it helped me a lot in those difficult moments.

S.
samuel
 
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby samuel » Sat Sep 26, 2015 8:21 am

Aquarius123esoteric I wanted to send you a message, but dont really know how. Thank you for your offer to look at the numerology.
Here are my birthdates: 29.04.1995 at about 10PM
Please send me a PM,
Thanks :)
samuel
 
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby aquarius123esoteric » Sat Sep 26, 2015 10:57 pm

Dear Samuel,

Thank you for reply. I was not thinking of numerology - although I shall be applying some of that, too. It's astrology I have in mind and to enable me to erect a chart for you, I also need your place of birth. If you don't wish to reveal it here, please let me have it by private message.

All the best - Aquarius
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby kiki » Sun Sep 27, 2015 12:32 am

samuel, to send a message click on the person's name. You will be taken to a page where you can contact them with a private message or through email; look on the left side of the page.
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Re: Drastic awaking- please help

Postby aquarius123esoteric » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:15 pm

Hello Samuel. It would be helpful if you could find out a more precise time of birth. Is your mother still about? If so, maybe she can help. :)
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