Spiritual emergency

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RCharles
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Spiritual emergency

Post by RCharles » Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:09 am

Hi all,

I'm seeking advice. My meditation practice has led to satori experiences that have left me feeling wonderfully euphoric some of the time but unbalanced at other times. Not out of control, but unbalanced. By unbalanced, I mean that I'm having trouble controlling my emotions. I'm afraid I've ruined a friendship because my emotions were so close to the surface that I just blurted them out.

The good side is that I used to be shy about meeting people, but I am so in love with people and the universe right now, that I can't get enough. I am often at our little community coffee house talking to people and introducing myself to everybody. The overabundance of emotions is the downside. I feel connected to people, but expressions of love and caring scare or startle them.

I have found a spiritual guidance counselor to meet with on Wednesday who specializes in spiritual emergencies, but does anybody have any suggestions in the meantime about how to regain some balance? (I know I can count on my friends here at the Tolle Community.) :)

Thanks,

RC
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai

Ralph
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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by Ralph » Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:14 am

RCharles wrote:
I feel connected to people, but expressions of love and caring scare or startle them.
Hi RC,
Next time you go to your little community coffee house , see if you can put yourself in their shoes and try to see it from their point of view. Just because you are now in love with the universe does not mean that they are too. Meet them where they are and with understanding perhaps they may be less defensive and easier to approach.

.... remember, you once were where they are now. Can you see why it scares or startles them ?

18andlife
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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by 18andlife » Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:06 am

RCharles wrote:but does anybody have any suggestions in the meantime about how to regain some balance?
“When conventional reality emerges, absolute reality submerges;
When absolute reality emerges, conventional reality submerges.”


I turst that your own experience verifies this, but I would suggest that your satori experience is absolute and your emotional content is conventional. If you're bobbing back and forth like a cork between the two you can't really expect a smooth ride for yourself or the people you're associating with.

I'd say that the best way to balance this is to carefully examine the nature of your satori experience and carefully examine the nature of your emotional content, and in doing so see that the true nature of both those experiences is identical. It's all just arising, it's all just vanishing; there's suffering in wanting more of one experience, there's suffering in wanting less of another experience; none of it is you, none of it is yours, none of it is yourself.

In terms of regaining balance, absolute reality and conventional reality shaking hands is as good as it ever gets. In terms remaining unbalanced, believing that absolute and conventional are somehow different and then manifesting one into a situation that you believe requires the other will be about as weird as it ever gets.

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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by moonmissy » Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:22 am

Forgive yourself for what you have done or have not done in the past. Waking up is not about being conventional. There will be a period of instability, accept that and let it go.

When you are in the present moment, you just watch. Thoughts arises, thoughts left. Emotions arises, emotions went.

Stay in the present and just accept the process. It is not an illness to wake up! It is not an illness to experience what it is like being alive. It is not an illness to make mistakes....mistakes are the labels of the mind.

Thy will be done! Just allow life to be without manipulations of the mind.
I know it doesn't sound comforting but fear is the last defense of the mind. Reacting from fear, we try to control our reality and not accept them. Who's in the driver's seat? It is what it is.
Before and after there exist not one
Why attachments?

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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by RCharles » Mon Jun 28, 2010 3:20 pm

Wonderful answers! This helps very much. Thank you moonmissy, 18andlife, and Ralph! I'm glad I started my day by checking these answers in the forum. Blessings to you!

RC
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai

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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by Sighclone » Mon Jun 28, 2010 7:36 pm

RC -

In his fine four-hour interview with Bonnie Greenwell (Dharma Cafe Audio archives #64 - $10), Adyashanti admits to spending two years like a puppy-dog, doing exactly what you are, talking to people in coffee-shops! Blurting out stuff! He wanted everybody to have what he was experiencing. :D

But he learned that it was not effective, and changed. Yes, of course, forgive yourself. Begin conversations, if you must have them (and they are completely innocent) with a question: "May I make a comment which has spiritual overtones?" And follow it with another comment: "Will you please simply stop me if you are not interested any longer -- it is perfectly ok with me." That way, you kind of have permission to start in.

One of the hallmarks of mental illness, as I'm sure you know, is failure to notice or care about your effect on others. In form, of course, because that is where 99% of people reside. Honor their state, stop often to get feedback.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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RCharles
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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by RCharles » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:35 am

Thank you very much, Andy. Your comment about Adya doing the same thing was a comfort. It's good to know others have had a similar experience.

I know that presence is the balancing factor I can use to calm a ride that is a little too wild. However, there's a lot of upheaval in my life right now, and the result is bigger emotions that are harder to just observe and let go of. The satori moments are bigger, and the emotional struggles are bigger, which is why I could not accurately gauge my effect on people. The broken relationship brought me back to earth somewhat, and I believe I'm relating to others more appropriately now even as the insights and emotions continue.

What is interesting about it all is that spiritual insights do not prevent one from making "mistakes" and hurting others unintentionally. But there is joy in recognizing that ultimately, the amazing interconnected universe conspires and cooperates to make all things well for all of us no matter what "mistakes" we make. :D

Thanks again, Andy.

RC
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai

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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by caitriona_oha » Tue Jun 29, 2010 5:57 pm

Hi RCharles,

I can totally see where you are coming from. After awakening, I initially felt very isolated. And the breakdown of a relationship didn't help matters for me. I felt so alone. Thankfully, I came across this forum and the advice I received helped me so much. I feel much more present right now.

I had feelings of loneliness and fear wondering if anyone was ever going to connect with me...especially since we are surrounded predominantly by people who exhibit so much unconscious behaviour. I found a thread on the forum about aloneness versus loneliness. It was a breakthrough for me. Before I was so choosy about who I hung with, who I spoke to, who I would be seen with. All of this has changed. I realise now that it was the ego in me.

I used to feel this void, this emptiness, this sense of not enough...all the time. I was constantly looking to others to fill that hole. I had a serious relationship, it helped for a while but then I realised the hole was still there. So I broke up with him only to get into another serious relationship. Things felt great for a while and then I realised I still felt empty again. I still didn't feel good enough. I discovered Eckhart and finally realised that no man was ever going to fill that hole of negative nothingness. I realised I am already complete. Then he left me. Devastating at first but now I am kind of almost at peace... :wink: getting there anyway. I know now I am full of positive nothingness. I try to embody emptiness.

Now I think I am at a similar stage to you. I've gotten to the point where I don't feel empty I just feel full! There is so much abundance and love I just want to share it all. I have to almost hold myself back. I meet people and I want to chat to them and get to know them. But I know they might think I am a bit full on. So I am trying to take it real slow and embace the blissful peace of aloneness, just being so content in myself...all by myself. I know then that if I meet someone who wants me to share some of that abundance I am open to it and if I don't...it's still ok because I am full up already and I don't need a person to fill any gap in my life.

Enjoy the ride RC!

Caitríona
Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.
Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.


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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by kiki » Tue Jun 29, 2010 7:14 pm

Caitriona wrote:I know now I am full of positive nothingness. I try to embody emptiness.

Now I think I am at a similar stage to you. I've gotten to the point where I don't feel empty I just feel full! There is so much abundance and love I just want to share it all. I have to almost hold myself back. I meet people and I want to chat to them and get to know them. But I know they might think I am a bit full on. So I am trying to take it real slow and embace the blissful peace of aloneness, just being so content in myself...all by myself. I know then that if I meet someone who wants me to share some of that abundance I am open to it and if I don't...it's still ok because I am full up already and I don't need a person to fill any gap in my life.
Very good! You are the emptiness that is completely full. If You were not completely empty there would be no room for everything that appears, and that gives the sense of fullness.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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RCharles
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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by RCharles » Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:34 am

"Full of positive nothingness..."!!! I love it, caitriona_oha. That's it!

Thank you for a wonderful and very caring post. I'm sorry for the many challenges you have faced, but your post explained so well what I'm experiencing. There has been that same loneliness on this path, as so few people understand it. I was so overjoyed at meeting a companion on the path who I thought actually understood that I freaked her out with my over-the-top emotions. With others, I've been a little more careful, so they probably just think, "Gee, that guy is really happy!" :lol:

The emotions have become clearer and I can now sort them out. Some of it is the joy of satori--oh my god, the world is just such a beautiful place, filled with consciousness EVERYWHERE, blissFULL emptiness! Sometimes this produces tears of joy. At the same time, I'm grieving the loss of the friendship and dealing with other challenging life changes, which produce moments of sadness as I work to regain presence and acceptance. As 18andlife said, I'm bobbing or pingponging back and forth between these two states--the higher state and the conventional emotional state of grief, which is confusing.

Today is more stable. The conventional emotions subsided, and the higher state prevailed for much of the day. Either way, some balance and acceptance has come, and all is well.

Thank you again, Tolle friends! Don't know what this would be like without you all. This experience reinforces how important it is that we are here for each other because the conventional world has no clue what we are doing. They must think we are nuts, or at the very least, a bunch of joyful eccentrics! :lol:

RC
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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by Sighclone » Wed Jun 30, 2010 7:03 pm

we are here for each other because the conventional world has no clue what we are doing. They must think we are nuts, or at the very least, a bunch of joyful eccentrics!
Yup, they don't know what we are doing because our basis for observation, commentary and action are unfamiliar and ultimately impossible for them as "egoic selves." I'm sure there are other forums, and certainly other blogs on the web that address this path. But most folks in the coffee shop would be, at best, bewildered.

I've given away a few copies of ANE to casual friends. Only two have commented on it favorably.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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RCharles
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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by RCharles » Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:48 am

A followup... Had a meeting tonight with a universalist spiritual counselor in my very own town, Bob MacKura of www.soulworkers.com. What a tremendous help he was, very reassuring, and now I have another friend who understands.

Bob has been much farther down this path than I, and he was able to reassure me how completely normal it is to have these emotions and a period of instability, just as you all have said.

He also noted that it is very easy to fall back into conventional reality if we allow the instability to scare us away from the path. He said greater awareness may still lie ahead, in its own good time, if I continue to be present and conscious and remain open to more consciousness and simply letting it unfold naturally. I somehow already know that and am content to be present where I am now and watch it unfold however it will.

Bob holds groups on Wednesday nights in which he uses Tolle's teachings and presence/meditation as well as discussion to help people on the spiritual path. I'm looking forward to meeting still more new friends who "get it."

Don't know why I had not met him before in a small town like ours, but it's wonderful to have found him and his group now.

Thanks again,
RC
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai

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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by Sighclone » Fri Jul 02, 2010 8:01 am

Sounds like a great satsang. Why am I not surprised that one of our newer, dedicated, evolving, articulate members was served by the universe with this timely "target stroke?" :) And the group will benefit from their new member also, I'm certain -- we certainly have!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by caitriona_oha » Fri Jul 02, 2010 7:15 pm

Ralph, that's so great that you have found a group setting where you can meet face to face and share with people who are on the same wavelength as you. I have done some research myself and there is a group dedicated to Eckhart which meet every week but they hold their meetings quite far from where I live. It's a two hour journey so I doubt I could give it the commitment to meet each week. I hope the meetings go well and let us know how you get on! :)

Caitríona

When passion is transformed ,when the desire to seek and search for the other is no more there ,when you are enough unto yourself ,when you don't need anybody ,when the very desire for the other has evaporated ,when you are utterly happy blissful , just being alone ,then passion becomes compassion.
Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.


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Re: Spiritual emergency

Post by RCharles » Sat Jul 03, 2010 9:47 am

Andy, you don't know the half of it. Check this out! I was in the coffee shop reading Man and His Symbols when a woman sat down next to me and started a conversation about the book and spirituality. We were totally on the same wavelength. As she was leaving we exchanged cards, and I noticed hers said "Counselor." A few days later I emailed her to suggest she might be able to counsel me regarding the issues I've described here. She said she was focused more on drug and alcohol counseling, but she suggested Bob. Now is that a totally synchronous meeting or what? Jung himself could not have written a better example of synchronicity in the very book I was reading.

Doesn't that blow your mind? The universe is just so awesome!! :D

Thanks for the encouragement, Caitríona. I'm very much looking forward to the group in my area. I hope you can attend the group you found occasionally and find great joy in meeting new friends there. BTW, here's an idea--if you meet them and have a good connection, and if they have a computer and webcam, maybe they would consider turning their camera on the group so you can participate from a distance over the internet on the weeks when you can't be there physically. Skype running on your computer and theirs would allow a free video "phone" call (see skype.com for information and a free download).

Maybe someday even the Tolle Community will be able to handle video, and then we can all talk with each other live. Sure would love to meet some of you "face to face"!

RC
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai

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