Confidence?

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fortune
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Confidence?

Post by fortune » Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:49 pm

What do u think confidence really is? I think the mind thinks that it is being really good at everything and believing you can do anything but i'm not really sure what it is anymore and a lot of people with a lot confidence tend to have big ego's. Is it just not letting fear make the decisions?

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Ziendus
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Re: Confidence?

Post by Ziendus » Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:21 am

No matter gain or loss, One is.
---ooOoo---

SevenSeconds
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Re: Confidence?

Post by SevenSeconds » Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:08 pm

fortune wrote:What do u think confidence really is? I think the mind thinks that it is being really good at everything and believing you can do anything but i'm not really sure what it is anymore and a lot of people with a lot confidence tend to have big ego's. Is it just not letting fear make the decisions?
In my mind, being really good at everything and believing you can do anything is self-competency. It's part of self-confidence.
People with low confidence have big ego too. It's just not that obvious. Their ego identified with being inferior more than superior.

And yeah, those people with seemingly high confidence are not really that stable. They lose their job, and boom, they're not confident anymore.

Dohjo
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Re: Confidence?

Post by Dohjo » Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:57 pm

Ziendus wrote:No matter gain or loss, One is.
This is real confidence!

fortune
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Re: Confidence?

Post by fortune » Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:35 pm

So when you say no matter "gain or loss" you mean not being afraid to take chances or letting fear stop you?

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Ziendus
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Re: Confidence?

Post by Ziendus » Fri Dec 30, 2011 8:56 am

Fear, taking chances, bravery, success... that is also what comes and goes,
what is gained and lost.
That is also change, time.
Often, focus narrows to only that.
That one is, "is also there". No matter what.
That is the one constant one can rely upon.
One is here now.
---ooOoo---

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Kutso
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Re: Confidence?

Post by Kutso » Fri Dec 30, 2011 10:17 am

If you are talking about Self-confidence, then you don't really need it. Self can't be denied, so there's no need to be confident about it.

When most people talk about Self-confidence they are equating themselves with the person and body, and the capability of that. But that's not really who one is.
Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that.

snowheight
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Re: Confidence?

Post by snowheight » Fri Dec 30, 2011 8:48 pm

fortune wrote:What do u think confidence really is?
There seems to be two different phenomena you might be referring to -- the apparent self-confidence observed in another or the feeling of confidence that you might have about a certain future event or process.

If you watch someone who has done the same skilled job for decades do their work you might judge them to be self-confident, but this is just an overlay on someone who is very likely quiet in their mind but for the execution of the conditioned skills they are applying.

If you feel confident or unsure of a given situation it's just an illusion. This isn't to say that if you popped the back of a broken antique timepiece for the first time in your life with no training and came to the conclusion that you probably won't be able to fix it that you are wrong, but this is all in the mind in any event.

The two overlap if you interrupt the watchmaker and ask him if he thinks he can replace the faulty spring with no difficulty. You might get a snicker of contempt from the old fellow, but that is just because you asked the question.
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.

fortune
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Re: Confidence?

Post by fortune » Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:30 am

It's just that i don't think i've ever really been a confident person i was the kind of child that accepted second best for example i would always play with the least best toy and was the one who's parent didn't have a lot of money and there's nothing wrong with these things but it gets you in a mentality of not bothering to try and get what you want and as it's filtered into adulthood. But now i don't really know what confidence is, i think i have this in my head of i'm not good enough. For example if a girl is interested in me that i like i tend to think i'm not good enough or i need to add something before i can be in a relationship and whenever i get good opportunity for something i expect to fail sometimes.

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Kutso
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Re: Confidence?

Post by Kutso » Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:09 pm

fortune wrote:It's just that i don't think i've ever really been a confident person i was the kind of child that accepted second best for example i would always play with the least best toy and was the one who's parent didn't have a lot of money and there's nothing wrong with these things but it gets you in a mentality of not bothering to try and get what you want and as it's filtered into adulthood. But now i don't really know what confidence is, i think i have this in my head of i'm not good enough. For example if a girl is interested in me that i like i tend to think i'm not good enough or i need to add something before i can be in a relationship and whenever i get good opportunity for something i expect to fail sometimes.
This is related to your person. The person consists of thoughts. It is not YOU. There is no such thing as a Self-confident person. The person is getting it's energy from YOU, not the other way around.
Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that. Not that.

jasmine
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Re: Confidence?

Post by jasmine » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:07 pm

I like what Ziendus & Kustso wrote.

Another way to say it? You are equating externals with worth. You think that you "earn" your self-worth, & then "feel" self-confident as a result. How you perform, what you look like, which & how many girls like you, what toys you have & play with, don't define you. You exist! Isn't that special enough?

Don't over-focus on what others are thinking about you. What does it really matter how highly they regard you, what price tag they choose to put on you? You seem overly concerned about what a girl is thinking about you etc.!

Instead, focus on what you can do that's nice for that girl! Focus on BEING loving, not on appearing desirable & sought after. Take the emphasis off of yourself, and ironically, you become more of your "true" self. Stop wondering if you are worthy of getting love. Stop wondering if & how you can feel better about yourself. Wonder instead, about how you can bring more love into the world. Being a loving presence is more important than seeking or even finding love outside of yourself.

If you don't find & express the love within you, the love outside of you will not have a space to enter. You will also not recognize real love when it is in front of you, until you become acquainted with your own inner experience of loving.

Externals & form are not the answer. Your inner self shines through when the spotlight is taken off those superficial elements. Remember, form will fade away anyway with time. Don't put your energy into concerning yourself with it.

phleppen
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Re: Confidence?

Post by phleppen » Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:42 am

There was a time in my life where I was more conscious and I remember saying to myself "Consciousness is Confidence". I think that is true, because in the arms of the infinite, how could you go wrong? I think the other kind of confidence is more concerned with meeting an end: Getting the girl, landing the job, but when you don't do these things, you're suddenly not considered confident. True confidence would be: "I didn't get the girl, but those flowers look nice...oh and look, they're right by that coffee shop, wow, that cashier is pretty, maybe I should ask her out instead."

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