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This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
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Tara
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Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:15 pm

Traffic

Post by Tara » Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:16 pm

I have been riding with my hubby in his semi..yes he is a truck driver. A year ago I said no way could I ever do that..I think I like to control the vehicle and I cringe when in traffic. For the most part the stuff he thought I could not handle...I do. Sleeping in the cab, truck stops are shower, restroom, laundry food stops, just being on the road, etc. Is all fine with me. I actually have been using this time to really work on my pain body if you know what I mean (close quarters 24/7..lol) My question is can someone give me advice or scenario (I seem to get the jest of things by comparisons or illustrations) about the traffic? I relax when on the lonely stretches but can barely contain myself in traffic. If I go in the back of the cab which is 2 feet away..lol and not sit in the seat, I can relax a little..BUT being in the front watching the cars weave in and out and all the other crazy stuff that goes on, on the road..I find I am sweating, biting my tongue, telling my husband how to drive (which is not a good idea), clenching my hands and feet etc. I know it is fear..fear of a wreck, which could lead to pain, no paycheck, death etc. I try to go with my feelings and at times it feels like I am on a roller coaster and what ever happens, happens.

How can I "see" the trip for what it is? Or my fears? As I have learned anytime their is fear or resistance I am not in my conscious state..I am in ego...it is stressful!! But I know it is mind made. I need a perspective adjustment I "think"

Thanx!

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Rick
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Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:30 pm

Re: Traffic

Post by Rick » Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:27 pm

If you could be like a scientist and experiment with the opportunity you have to be in a situation that causes the fear to arise, and allow the fear to arise fully so that you could examine every single bit of it objectively to see exactly the forms it takes, i.e. the sensations in your body, where the sensations are located, all the feelings, any panic, all the thoughts and conversation in your head, and if you could quietly note all of these, or better yet, quietly write them all down without any motive other than to take simply note your observations, you would find that the fear would likely ease to the point that soon enough you don't mind it being there. Truly it is minding it being there that gives it amplitude, but once you don't mind it being there, it won't be able to feed upon you so easily and perhaps just go away. Also, in the process of objectively observing the fear, noting this and that about it, you just might stumble upon the original cause of the phobia, some original trauma perhaps, although that doesn't really matter knowing about in terms of being set free of the fear by your simple objectivity and passive acceptance of it being there. That is how your freedom is found.
Daily life IS spiritual exercise.

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Traffic

Post by smiileyjen101 » Fri Mar 23, 2012 10:36 am

Tara I find traffic, and crowds, and confined spaces all great awareness 'places'.

The thing is some of us try to overstep, guess, direct, judge what others are or might do, could have, did or didn't do... when really, our field of response ability is not in the same place as theirs.

Ours is merely to watch our own responses and maybe through awareness change some habits we've been doing unconsciously in response to things.

I learnt to have fun with it as I've detailed in this thread from ages ago...
http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth ... t=+traffic

If you are the driver of one vehicle, don't try to drive other vehicles as well - you can't (really) do it anyway!
If you are the passenger - and this is harder for me too, either decide you trust the driver or ask them to stop the vehicle so you can get out. It's that simple, accept, change or remove yourself from the situation.

If you decide to accept then reinforce that decision, and maybe then like in the link above move to enjoying.. putting joy into, and then enthusiasm.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

Tara
Posts: 92
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:15 pm

Re: Traffic

Post by Tara » Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:03 pm

Thank you both! Since I often have my computer (or maybe paper would be better) I think I will try to journal..maybe use BK method:) I have a habit of trying to store info in my mind and sort from there...seeing it in writing I sense would work better, as with making a grocery list..if I keep it in my head, it goes out the door..lol.

Thank you Jen for the link. I read it and I want to continue as a passenger, especially since I have been married for 28 years and this is the first opportunity we have had to be alone. (I know I am judging but he is a very good driver But is also fighting his negativity..like the guy in your traffic story who at first seemed perturbed that you could be enjoying a traffic jam!) Sooo this is my chance to really get to the meat of my painbody and who knows maybe some awesome presence will shine through!

I like the three areas you mention...I think I got this from Tolle..but I am always repeating in my head non-attachment, non-judgement and non-resistance...think I will add enthusiasm, enjoyment and acceptance.

If I "look" back I have come along ways...in the past I would probably be depressed, picking fights unconsciously, looking for ways out (which by the way I catch myself still doing now), etc.

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smiileyjen101
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Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: Traffic

Post by smiileyjen101 » Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:24 pm

Hi Tara, the acceptance, enjoyment, enthusiasm states discussion is towards the end of A New Earth. You are right it is the progression after you've noticed any resistances and attachments. For me he explains the 'why' of negative and unconscious states of mind first and does seem to concentrate more on these than the 'how' of changing that, which is to yes recognise and understand, but then move into the conscious states.

His notion of if you are making an enemy, obstacle or means to an end of a thing, person or situation a flag of unconsciousness (ego at work) but the follow through once you recognise this is to move into acceptance, change or remove yourself from the situation. If you choose to accept then and with acceptance either stay in it recognising that is what is required in this moment, then because you are in a state of willingness you can move into putting joy into it and if you really go with it then enthusiasm follows with clarity.

Whether its things you are reacting to, or things that are different to your 'expectations' a helpful reminder is the non-judgemental statement - is that so? as detailed in the story about the monk in ANE. It is what it is, and there is much peace to be had in letting that blow through you rather than hold onto it or distort it.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

qlidnaque
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Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 7:04 am

Re: Traffic

Post by qlidnaque » Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:06 am

Rick wrote:If you could be like a scientist and experiment with the opportunity you have to be in a situation that causes the fear to arise, and allow the fear to arise fully so that you could examine every single bit of it objectively to see exactly the forms it takes, i.e. the sensations in your body, where the sensations are located, all the feelings, any panic, all the thoughts and conversation in your head, and if you could quietly note all of these, or better yet, quietly write them all down without any motive other than to take simply note your observations, you would find that the fear would likely ease to the point that soon enough you don't mind it being there. Truly it is minding it being there that gives it amplitude, but once you don't mind it being there, it won't be able to feed upon you so easily and perhaps just go away. Also, in the process of objectively observing the fear, noting this and that about it, you just might stumble upon the original cause of the phobia, some original trauma perhaps, although that doesn't really matter knowing about in terms of being set free of the fear by your simple objectivity and passive acceptance of it being there. That is how your freedom is found.

Fascinating. I remember the art in the New Earth where there's that lady that comes into see Eckhart who is deeply unhappy, and Eckhart says something like, 'do you mind the unhappiness?' and when the lady found out she doesn't mind, then the unhappiness disappeared or something like that. So that method could work on other feelings such as phobia, fear, anxiety, etc.? Or is that slightly out of the realm of just learning about one's ego?

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