Job Interviews

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turnitaround12
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Job Interviews

Post by turnitaround12 » Sun May 06, 2012 6:40 am

Oh, it is nice to be back on this forum! I have not posted in over a year.

Anyway, I have had so many changes in the past year. I am now back in CO and so glad to be here! I was in TX. Been through some major, major losses and changes. It is still astonishing to me. But lots of realizations.

But the topic here is that I am once again looking for work. Seems as if I am constantly going on interviews for the past year and it just seems so ridiculous! I have had a few jobs and they were so harmful to my physical and psychological health I could not do them but for a short time. I have to work due to finances. It is becoming obvious that I must have my own business. I am clear what that is (and it is very exciting and I am quite sure it will be successful monetarily, spiritually, intellectually, etc.,) but I still have to work in the meantime. I DO NOT fit into the regular 9-5 mentality - never have. It is so limiting and restrictive. I have to FAKE wanting the job when I go on an interview because I need the money. It seems like such a game! God, I do not know how long I can do this crap! I am just going through the motions. It is a catch-22, it seems. But I have just a tiny bit of money left and have to play the game, it seems. Now, employers are being so intrusive. It did not used to be this way. I won't go into all the stuff they want now for the positions I am applying for. It is hard for me to function in this kind of crazy environment anymore. It is like I just don't care and can't get into it anymore. The drive is gone but I have to pretend it is there to get a job. I worked at home for ten years as a writer (got laid off in 2010), and I KNOW I must be able to be independent. I have ALWAYS been this way. I have incredible enthusiasm when I can be creative and love what I do!

I have started the preliminaries for my own online business but it will take a while to get going. I am frustrated that I have to turn myself into a pretzel for these employers just for money. Yes, a part of me does accept that this is how it is now. But I am not in my 20s or 30s. I do not have all the time to mess around anymore. I guess I am a bit resentful that I have to put up with this crap.

Any suggestions are welcome!

Rachel
Last edited by turnitaround12 on Mon May 07, 2012 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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far_eastofwest
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by far_eastofwest » Mon May 07, 2012 1:37 pm

Hi, guess one thing you could try is to take the 'have to' out of your self talk,
ie, I 'have to' get a crappy job
and change it to
"i choose to" get a crappy job as that will enable me to finance my Internet business that i will enjoy.

When you say 'I have' to, it can create a bit of a victim feeling, like you have no choice.
You could sleep under a bridge and get food out of the rubbish bin or beg.... some people do... so when you change the 'i have to' to 'I choose to' it can give you a feeling of making choices that are going to enhance what you want to get out of life.

So try it if you like, it may just give you the positive attitude to define what you seem to be seeking. Long term goal to have an internet business that is not 9 - 5 (but 24/7 lol), to achieve this, you may choose to take on employment as a short term goal to provide the funds to set your business up.
Maybe set some goals with time lines also, its not quite the 'power of now' but setting some timelines can help ideas become goals and help get out of that groundhog day thing.

And yeah... job hunting has changed... when i was young it was 'you have all/most body parts... when can you start?"

:D
There is nothing harder to find than a black cat in a dark room
Especially when there is no cat....

turnitaround12
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by turnitaround12 » Tue May 08, 2012 5:01 am

Hi,
Thanks for your reply. Well, I am choosing to get a crappy job - so I don't wind up being under a bridge digging in the garbage. Ideally, I would not want to work for someone else at all. I am putting the effort out there to find work that I might enjoy while I set up my own business.

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far_eastofwest
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by far_eastofwest » Wed May 09, 2012 2:55 am

sounds like a plan!
you have a clear idea for your business, if you get the crappy job, perhaps you can talk to the people who you get in contact with at meal times etc about your business plan and get some feedback from others, you may be surprised at what people want/like or good ideas that will come to you that way (think that is market research).
that way you may be able to enjoy some to the 'nows' even at the crappy job.

The simple saving type things, like making coffee in a thermos to take to work, not buying magazines etc but reading them at the library, or maybe eating lots of rice can help to achieve your goals too - a man i knew bought himself an apartment on his factory wage by living on mainly rice.... he also lost a lot of weight as a bonus, and on his wage it was seen by most as something that 'couldn't be done'. Not only did he get himself his home, he got a hot new body as well.

go for it and good luck!

:D
There is nothing harder to find than a black cat in a dark room
Especially when there is no cat....

turnitaround12
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by turnitaround12 » Wed May 09, 2012 5:43 am

:) that's funny! I think part of it is there is a huge part of me that literally CANT do stuff that I hate anymore. It is a long story I won't get into here but my body won't tolerate horrible jobs anymore. That is the tricky part here. I wind up getting very sick.

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by smiileyjen101 » Thu May 10, 2012 6:21 am

What you are struggling with (imho) is not the 'action' nor is it the planning, it's this notion that you have to be someone other than who you are, you don't.

You might get sick because you hold these notions inside you.If you hold onto 'expectation' as your measure instead of reality it will feel out of kilter.
Ideally, I would not want to work for someone else at all.
My answer would be, then don't. Seriously, do anything but working for anyone else (no choice is wrong, it just brings a different experience).
Seriously, with this attitude you will make yourself sick no matter what job you get so don't do it.

ah.. attitude... based not on reality, but expectation of how your reality 'should' be.
Now that you can work with.


Reminds me of a little quote by Jim Rohn
YOU have the power
to have a GOOD day
ALL day, every day
Unless, YOU give it
to someone else.


If the reality is you are a person who NEEDs (is CHOOSING) to work for others in order to achieve your own financial goals (or not if you choose not) there is nothing wrong with that.

Now you have the basis for a different attitude, one based in reality and authentic honesty.

And it has benefits you haven't even considered - writers are communicators who are able to shape and share experiences be it their own or those of others. Every experience is a now experience, and every experience is a boon to a writer... all the characters, colours, emotions, thoughts spinning, interactions... why not have FUN with the experience of working for someone else instead of resisting it.

Why not also go to your next interview for its own sake as an experience... being all the true aspects of who you really are.
Absolute honesty! Absolute curiousity! Absolutely present and enthusiastic and creative. And then if you get the job you will be somewhere a) that you're happy to be you in and b) they're happy to have the authentic you. If you don't get the job you can rest knowing it was the wrong job for you, and phew! they saved you from making yourself sick

'Gee, I'm not sure I'll really enjoy... xyz abc.. but I really need the money, so you know I'll be punctual, loyal, honest and creative for as long as you have me and pay me. What do you think, will I fit in?'

Honesty is absolutely refreshing in any situation, mindful honesty even better.

The next 'hurdle' will be when to leave that security of a job when you've grown accustomed to it :wink:

But don't worry as another 'writer' said -
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
― Eckhart Tolle
and another
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon
No matter what happens you can chalk it up to 'experience' and experience is the fodder of writers.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen

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rideforever
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by rideforever » Thu May 10, 2012 9:50 am

I know what you mean.

I think you can maintain your inner position "this job is demeaning", whilst be practical and pragmatic on the outer. The fear I think is that the crappy job will affect the peace you have found inside, but you can be resolute in holding your inner position.

As for dealing with the world which is intrusive and ridiculous; just write a task list and do it without judging it or reacting to it.

Yesterday my flatmates left a big mess in the kitchen, and I just cleaned it up without feeling bad or good about it, it is just something I need to do. It doesn't affect the fact that they should have taken responsibility and done it.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

Golf
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by Golf » Thu May 10, 2012 2:42 pm

turnitaround12 wrote:Any suggestions are welcome!
Why only crappy jobs? Maybe you can still find a "normal" one!
Maybe the economy, social climate or culture where you live is such that most jobs are crappy and most people contribute to the "crappiness" by fitting into the roles of greedy exploiters who think the world owes them and passive apathic victims who think they can't have something better. Maybe "normal" jobs are actually hard to find. Maybe you always "needed the job" so much, that you overlooked the "crappy job warning signs" you saw at the interview.

But what if you could? Not a demeaning job, not an excessively hard job (carrying bricks all day in desert heat?), not an extremely boring job (flipping burgers all day? I don't know...)
But a simple job. At least it's only temporary,you won't feel "stuck" in it because you already have a plan for your own business.

I think you need a job that's simple and that won't leave you mentally exhausted every day, so you can have enough enthusiasm and energy to work on your business in the evenings and weekends. I sure hope you can still find one like that.

Maybe if you could work somewhere you'd often be alone (a small shop at the mall for example?) and you could use a small netbook laptop to write or build a web page at the times where there aren't any customers? Or you could read, or do something mechanical and simple while listening to audio books on your headphones? Just some ideas...
"If you're so smart, how come you're working at a gas station?"
-"It's a service station. We offer service, there is no higher purpose."
8)

turnitaround12
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by turnitaround12 » Fri May 11, 2012 5:06 am

Hi Smiiley, rideforever and Golf:

Appreciate the responses. These are not writing jobs I am talking about. (Although I am doing a freelance job right now for pennies compared to what I was making before as a writer.)

I am applying for nursing jobs (and other jobs - see below) which I feel is the quickest route. I do not feel authentic at all in the nursing, in fact, I am bad at it. (Except Psych nursing which I enjoy and which I am applying for as well.) If I could ONLY work for myself, of course I would. But financially, I cannot now.

I have tried many times over the years to go back into nursing and I never last. I wind up quitting. It is too hard physically and emotionally and I TRULY dislike it. It wreaks havoc on my body and I can't stand the smells and all the gross stuff. How can I accept THIS? I actually hate it and I sparingly use the word "hate." I can't pretend I like it. It feels like I am in a catch-22 situation, i.e., I need the money so I keep going back and around and around I go. Internal conflict, for sure. I do not have the luxury right now to pick and choose. I must be able to eat. Know what I mean? I wonder, though, if I create this scenario because I have been here several times where I feel backed up against a wall.

I am applying for jobs I think I may enjoy like the writing and other positions in the fields of Psychology which is my other background. The fact is, due to the market, it is more difficult to find a writing job or a job in Psych that pays what I need to make to cover my bills and pay off some debt. Oh, I KNOW when it is a crappy job that does not fit me during the interview. But I feel like I have to PRETEND to like it because I need the money.

I cannot do a simple-minded job because they pay low and I must be able to pay my bills. Frankly, it feels like my life is sort of closing in on me. Due to finances, I went from owning my own home in a very nice area to now living with a roommate in a crappy apartment building. My roommate is an inconsiderate smoker (so disgusting!) and there are fights here in this building because a lot of low income people live here. I have never lived like this! Sorry about the complaints and ending on a bad note but money DOES make a difference in so many ways. I would never live like this if I did not have to.

Rachel

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by smiileyjen101 » Fri May 11, 2012 1:11 pm

Rachel, are you the same one who wanted to sit under a tree last year? If so I don't know if you read your replies, particularly Rick's, which may be interesting for you right now.

This topic http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth ... hel#p71424

I wonder, though, if I create this scenario because I have been here several times where I feel backed up against a wall.
Yes sounds like you keep creating this scenario and if the 'solution' didn't work last time and the time before and the time before that it won't work this time either.... change your response to the situation.

It sounds like you're expecting to do the same thing and get a different outcome, and that's Einstein's definition of insanity.

This might seem a bit strange but can you distance yourself enough to separate your circumstances and your problem solving, which seems to be more of the same, as in more drama/agony/suffering, rather than thinking clearly and outside of knee reaction in fear.

It seems like you are reacting in fear and that's never a good place to be making decisions, give yourself some space to allow some positive, creative rather than reactionary energy to flow.

Seems to me a live-in job somewhere might tick off a few more positive boxes than the options you're considering at the moment. Someone with nursing qualifications doesn't actually have to do pure nursing... the transferable skills in caring for others, knowing medical terminology.. I don't really know, but medical receptionist? nurse in a school camp, or on a cruise ship or for a private family/patient? in a resort somewhere? ..... except that you would have to be honest at the interview and in the job, you'd have to be doing it for the right reasons, you'd have to actually want to BE there, somehow you haven't found the 'right reason' in nursing yet, and the 'right reason' is never money - that's a means to an end.

Now as to the thing about money.... you got yourself into it, you can get yourself out of it. It may take a little longer to trade out of but it's a learning experience.. yes?

Again it will take honesty with self and others, and authenticity about real needs, not scaredy-cat, knee jerk oh my god I don't have the lifestyle I used to have. Slap yourself and wake up there! This is NOW and you didn't get here without learning some good stuff along the way.

If you go down the path of lying to yourself, lying to others and lying to those you serve you WILL be miserable, unless this 'quickest route' is like a two week contract or less Do NOT do it. Find another path.

Find some folks who aren't panicking, or go sit on a park bench somewhere and chill until you wake up to yourself. :wink:

This day matters, and what matters in this day is you being honest with yourself and others, that's what will break the cycle.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen

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rideforever
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Re: Job Interviews

Post by rideforever » Fri May 11, 2012 4:10 pm

Hey

Why don't you just take some time off. Here is a list of communities (worldwide) - many of them you can call up, turn up, and then you that's it. You work the land a bit or whatever they do, and you get friends, accommodation, and food.

http://directory.ic.org/


Otherwise what ? You are going to go on with madness until you have a breakdown ???
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

turnitaround12
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun May 06, 2012 6:06 am

Re: Job Interviews

Post by turnitaround12 » Sat May 12, 2012 4:51 am

Hi,
Yes, I am the same person. Actually, I have taken breaks over the past year - several. I spent many months contemplating my life, meditating, spending time at Buddhist center, 3 weeks in a friends cabin in the most exquisite part of Colorado away from everyone, a month in a house tucked away in a canyon in CO in one of the most beautiful, secluded places in the country. Hiking, ect......(I was on unemployment part of that time.) Loved it and had some amazing realizations.

I am MUCH better off mentally/spiritually than I was a year ago - there is no comparison. I was really in bad shape - mostly due to the illness and all the fear. But I had tremendous losses that put me in a state of PTSD.

I have shed everything, almost. Home, relationship, stuff, moved to CO where I wanted to be closer to nature, etc. So I do not mean to make it sound as if everything is horrible. It is not. I still do get in negative states though and it seems like this transition has taken so long! A part of me DOES accept where I am as internally, much has changed. Perhaps it has not caught up externally? Not sure. I am extraordinarily grateful I have had the assistance of these teachings during the past 2 years. I do not know how I would have made it through these times without them.

But I still believe one must have the basics - shelter, food, clothing, to be able to even contemplate spiritual things. I get food at a foodbank and not sure where I will be next month. Has anyone here had to do this? If not, not sure you can really understand what this is like.

I do not feel panic - it is more frustration and anger (not all the time, for sure because there is a calmness now a lot of the time), but it does seem as if externally I am going down a slippery slope of poverty. So I am not feeling agony and drama - more frustration and pissed that I am in this financial predicament - still. I know there is a disconnect between my inner clarity (and lack thereof) and what is happening on the outside - certainly some of it is just happening and I have nothing to do with it; e.g., the economy, etc.. But I know I am now BEGINNING to get clarity about how I want to create my life. I had to put much behind me first. Some of it has been deep epiphanies - some has just been deep pain and suffering. One DOES have to mourn losses.

I also love Adyashanti (saw him a few weeks ago here in Boulder.) He says that when one is becoming awake or has an awakening experience, it is not always this wonderful, blissful thing. It can be very WRENCHING TO LET GO OF WHO WE THOUGHT WE WERE. It is as if the Universe/consciousness/God/ whatever is NOT allowing me to turn back to how I was and how I operated in the world so I am in this limbo.

In one of ETs CDs he said he was going on job interviews after he had awakened. He went on this one where the employer asked him, "What do you REALLY want to do?" The employer could tell that ET was not into getting this job. Well, I did have someone say that to me. An HR person asked me, "Do you really know what you want?" She did not get the impression that I did. She was probably right at the time. I had been working on my own at home for so long that the idea of working for someone in a regular job feels like prison. Unless it is something where I have time to do the other things I love.

Golf
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Joined: Mon May 07, 2012 4:44 pm

Re: Job Interviews

Post by Golf » Sat May 12, 2012 2:52 pm

I've been sitting and thinking about this, read the "tree" topic as well, and Rick's advice is just beautiful, it resonates with me.
find what your God given natural talents are, usually you can tell these but what you love to do, by what you are naturally good at and see if you can some how make a buck or two out of it.
He even told about the practical things he did. Beautiful...

Now if I read that some 10 years ago, I'd tell you, "but how am I supposed to do what I love, when I'm only getting pocket money and I first have to finish highschool and college and get a job..." :oops:

From early age I always disassembled and put together toys, appliances, stereos, bicycles, plane models, computers, I programmed VCRs to record me Star Trek, I was "natural" with technical stuff. I was really good at drawing too, couldn't draw faces and abstract stuff, but I was great drawing machines, planes, robots :D Luckily for me, my dad saw it too and we agreed I should study engineering (we weren't really that wise then but I think we still made the right choice :D )
Besides just technical stuff, at college and at work I saw that I was good at explaining it to others (some people can't explain it to you even if they really get it, and I can).
So now I'm trying to get a decent technology job, where I'll get to see stuff, and one day I might want to even manage a team of junior engineers, be sure to identify their talents, to figure what they need so they understand and are able to do their jobs, maybe even write some articles or a book if I'm successful at it, I think I'd love to do that. Have to get there first though. But having at least some idea about what "there" is, that's the main thing. A vision of your future, which you first identify and then work to make happen. One that's actually workable in real life too. I'm reading books about team management and leadership besides just technical stuff. We'll see if it works or not!

And yes I think those realizations of what you love to do are coming from "stillness", not from thinking. I also believe that if you can see a vision of what you want, and actually make it happen, it's because God is a creator too, and you've been made in His image. But you can't do it when you're stuck in your past conditioning, lost in thoughts of anxiety, then it can't come through.
"If you're so smart, how come you're working at a gas station?"
-"It's a service station. We offer service, there is no higher purpose."
8)

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