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Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 7:24 pm
by dannydawiz
Rose and Richard wrote:Hi Danny
I have been reading these various posts and wow some are just wonderful Let me say what I feel is coming through your posts:

You had a goal and it did not come to fruition, that saddened you even depressed you.

Perhaps you feel to get to awareness/presence/enlightenment fast enough you will stop that happening again, so you need to do it quickly.

Danny the greatest feeling there is, is to drop everything especially things you have no control over. By dropping everything, you have in fact surrendered to what is.
Surrender is wonderful, it frees the mind from the chatter box it creates a space or what Eckhart calls a portal, or a quietness.
This portal or space allows what is generally referred to as the real you or the inside you...your spirit.. (this is the bit of you that connects us all together in the universe, or an energy which ever you wish to call it) to come through.

Some even refer to it as allowing your gut feelings to through.

It is in these quiet moments that we usually get answers for our life situations, our purpose or an action may come to us.

To create these spaces or quiet moments you need to practice relaxation and when your body is relaxed you can get to a meditative state, now that meditative state is presence is nowness (Echkart meditates for an hour everyday) and in keeping that practice you can begin to gain a better nowness, peace and joy. Don't push, just allow it all to happen over time. Eckhart has been doing this for soo long that his dept of nowness is great. For most of us it takes time. But in getting there we have a level of awareness of our self .. that's enough, let the rest evolve.

But we have the human side of us and generally speaking that's the part that takes the actions to fulfillment of our goals, yes the chatterbox (ego) comes in and can annoy us but just be aware of this, don't fight it, make a friend of it because it is really trying to protect you so when it chatters and you cop that consider what it is telling you, it is usually creating fear about why not, can't do, not doing that again look what happened the last time I did that and on on it goes so guess what you will be able to recognize your own fears. How helpful is that. Read Eckhart's chapter in "A New Earth" to further understand what ego does.
Now we have our bodies also and that's what carries around our mind (with it's chatterbox) and our spirit.

We are Mind Body and Spirit (soul)


So let's use them all

Through your spirit you can find what your intentions in life are e.g. becoming a doctor a writer etc it may take time to find this and you may need to read books take courses do research to have a realization what you may like to do. You can change it as you go through life, do this with relaxation and meditation, you're on your way

Through your mind you can create goals for your intentions, that mind will organize the actions you need to fulfill your intention.

Through your body you actually physically take the actions.

Intentions and actions can change to what ever you require for yourself in life.

Now I wish to share a secret with you: when you learn to live life in this manner you will begin to see things fall into place like a little bit like magic Danny that piece of information is the essence of spirituality.

You need time to get used to living this way and have patience, persistence courage and above all an unstoppable faith( I'm not talking religious faith here ) that life will give you your wishes. Don't beat yourself up where ever you are in life right now is the perfect place to be. Namaste Rose
Thank you so much Rose.

Your feeling of what I was saying through my posts was 100% correct. My ambition was greater than my desire to live. All was well when I was slowly getting closer to the goal but one day this stopped. No matter how hard I tried I could not get any closer and that left me in despair.

Now I feel that the only way I can continue reaching this goal while maintaining my sanity is if I discover the presence/awareness/enlightenment necessary in order for me to enjoy the journey.

The things that I don't have control over usually bring me feelings of inferiority. They make me feel like I am incapable of accomplishing my goals because It wasn't meant to be. These are the feelings that are brought to me by my ego recently. I know that it's all a lie but my body can't help but react to those lies in sadness.


I admit that meditation isn't a part of my schedule. At times I feel like going throughout the day is a meditation. I'm always observing and doing my best to stay present. When I catch myself in the past I bring myself back and remind myself that the past doesn't exist. That I am not the story that is replaying in my head.

What I haven't experienced yet is what you refer to as answers for our life situations. I don't really expect them in the first place which I suppose is a good thing. Although I have heard plenty of stories about the greatest ideas or inventions being discovered while resting in a place of no thought.

You say that through mind body and spirit life will fall into place.

How ironic is it that my very goals and intentions are what have brought me more suffering than anything else in my life so far.

Scratch that. I should say that it's been my minds reactions to my goals and intentions that have brought me more suffering.

If I ignore my mind and accept everything then I no longer feel any conflict.

Maybe it is my own inadequacy that I need to accept more than anything.

I'll see where this leads. Thank you I found your post to very insightful Rose.

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 12:12 am
by Rose and Richard
Hi Danny
There is something I need to say . You are obviously having a lot of emotions regarding your goal and the non achievement of it, those emotions may need to be better viewed by you and so I'm wondering if you have had help or explained to anyone about the whole thing.
I say this because if something is affecting you in a big way we often need help to explore and understand ourselves a bit better While being aware or being present is the answer overall we must do things on our journey there.
I am a great believer on getting help so we can come out the other end of things and not have constant triggering. It puts things to rest so to speak. Perhaps you do need to talk to someone like your parent(s) looking on at ourselves is not always easy.
Eckhart says if something keeps coming up it needs to be dealt with, why? because the ego has nothing to latch on to.
Perhaps that is your first action on your journey. Take care of the special unique person that you are, there never was and there never will be anyone like you on this earth again so take care of that special you.
Namaste Rose

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 6:19 pm
by dannydawiz
Rose and Richard wrote:Hi Danny
There is something I need to say . You are obviously having a lot of emotions regarding your goal and the non achievement of it, those emotions may need to be better viewed by you and so I'm wondering if you have had help or explained to anyone about the whole thing.
I say this because if something is affecting you in a big way we often need help to explore and understand ourselves a bit better While being aware or being present is the answer overall we must do things on our journey there.
I am a great believer on getting help so we can come out the other end of things and not have constant triggering. It puts things to rest so to speak. Perhaps you do need to talk to someone like your parent(s) looking on at ourselves is not always easy.
Eckhart says if something keeps coming up it needs to be dealt with, why? because the ego has nothing to latch on to.
Perhaps that is your first action on your journey. Take care of the special unique person that you are, there never was and there never will be anyone like you on this earth again so take care of that special you.
Namaste Rose
Hello Rose!

To answer your question there is one person who knows of my suffering. A friend of mine who I don't see very often at the moment. I'll be honest and say that I don't reveal these thoughts to others around me because lets be honest. Who wants to be around a negative nancy? Not that I would define myself as someone who is negative.

Thanks again. :)

I feel a bit better today than I've felt throughout the week and I'm trying to understand why.

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 7:24 pm
by tomtom1
Try asking yourself: is there anything stopping me feel joy other than the belief in the thought 'I cannot feel joy'?

Without wanting to sound patronising you are very young :D I remember my teenage years were one hell of a roller coaster of ups and downs, with probably more downs than ups! In a different way your early 20's can be the same but in my experience things have settled down a bit after that.

You are lucky in the fact that you have discovered there is more to life at such a young age but it can slo be a struggle as you may not have the maturity yet to fully deal with it..... I'm not sure I do yet and I'm nearer 30 hahaha!!

Advice is hard to give. But if I was talking to my 16 year old self I would say just love yourself more than anything. Be kind to yourself and as suggested by another poster try to find some balance. Perhaps the best way to do that is drop the search. Allow yourself to be as you are and the joy will come without seeking it. Please be patient with yourself as it WILL turn out ok in the end :)

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:44 pm
by dannydawiz
tomtom1 wrote:Try asking yourself: is there anything stopping me feel joy other than the belief in the thought 'I cannot feel joy'?

Without wanting to sound patronising you are very young :D I remember my teenage years were one hell of a roller coaster of ups and downs, with probably more downs than ups! In a different way your early 20's can be the same but in my experience things have settled down a bit after that.

You are lucky in the fact that you have discovered there is more to life at such a young age but it can slo be a struggle as you may not have the maturity yet to fully deal with it..... I'm not sure I do yet and I'm nearer 30 hahaha!!

Advice is hard to give. But if I was talking to my 16 year old self I would say just love yourself more than anything. Be kind to yourself and as suggested by another poster try to find some balance. Perhaps the best way to do that is drop the search. Allow yourself to be as you are and the joy will come without seeking it. Please be patient with yourself as it WILL turn out ok in the end :)
I realized this while looking back at this post and I'm happy that you noticed it to. I didn't mean to imply that not being able to feel joy or enthusiasm were a part of my identity. I understand that I am young and to be honest sometimes I forget my own age. At times I feel like I'm already an old man which is absurd considering that I still have a long way to go.

The search at times can be confusing. It's almost as if the more you search the farther away you get from where you already were. Things like these make me feel like i'm running around in a circle at times.

I can't stop searching however... I've tried to stop searching and even when I do stop some sort of consequence always brings me back here.

I just want to understand how to achieve these states of minds. Enthusiasm and Joy.

I feel like once I understand where these two come from on an internal level I will finally be able to complete my search. I understand how to achieve acceptance but the other two seem to be out of my control.

I had previously assumed that enthusiasm came from the future. Waking up every morning with a future goal in mind is what at one point in life gave me what I consider meaning. However this is dangerous to me because of the attachment to the outcome.

Pursuing goals doesn't work if you don't have the ability to enjoy the activity for itself versus the end result. You may get far but it eventually ends up as a meanings to an end. Your level of satisfaction becomes attached to whether you can achieve the goal or not.

This is what makes me feel like I'm stuck.

I'm trying to learn is how to be enthusiastic about activities in the present moment. It just isn't as simple as acceptance however... Acceptance feels like a much more simple choice. On the other hand enthusiasm and joy cannot be faked. They are sincere states of mind that are real. I've felt them once before...

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 12:19 am
by tomtom1
You really are wise beyond your years!

Perhaps I can point you to some things that have helped me. I think it's helpful to try and understand that true happiness is not really a state of mind. There's an old saying which goes along the lines of 'happiness is the absence of striving for happiness'. When you understand this you realise that it is the very search for happiness/joy which prevents you from having it. It also helps to remember that there is nothing you can think in conventional terms which will provide happiness or joy so no matter how much you mull it over in your mind you will just go round in circles. As you have already said you are doing.

As for enthusiasm, again I don't think this is something you can create. I think it comes naturally when you engage in something which is true for you. You cannot force yourself to be enthusiastic about something you are not enthusiastic about! :lol:

What was it that you did in the past which gave you the 'sincere states of mind' of joy and enthusiasm?

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:54 am
by smiileyjen101
Yum yum yum!! wowzer danny, I'm with the others who say 16 :D
Danny said: That is what I am trying to aim for. I want to be able to enjoy the activities for the sake of themselves. That in and of itself IS the whole point of living in the now.

I simply don't feel it though... I don't feel that feeling which I know to be joy. I feel like i'm so close..

What is the final step that I'm missing?
It's the essence of who you really are - love :D

Now if 'enlightenment' gets confusing and bandied around in a myriad of forms so too does love. My take on it (with many, many many etc etc moons under my belt :wink: ) is this, beautifully shared by a grateful and generous man called Don Miguel Ruiz (whose book The Four Agreements you may find helpful)

Love is the equilibrium of gratitude and generosity.

If you think about those times that you felt the joy - in undistorted essence - there was the flowing, the being, of love - gratitude & generosity in equal balance. Think on one example and you will see it, know the truth of it - joy flowed in gratitude and generosity.

The best definition I've found for Equilibrium is
"the condition of a system in which all competing influences are balanced, in a wide variety of contexts."
No thing is excluded, all elements are embraced, almost nakedly, purely, powerfully.
It's usually fleeting, but exhilarating all the same. One cannot chase it, one can only strip away the fears and egoic cloaks and stand naked with 'what is'.

In the later chapters of A New Earth ET discusses the difference in aware doing / being in states of acceptance (for this moment this is what is required of me and I do it willingly - that is without resistance); enjoyment (pouring the joy of love - gratitude and generosity into the moment/activity/interaction) and enthusiasm being like the arrow, flying towards a target aware of the moments of acceptance and opportunities to pour joy into the activity.

He says yes if you are not in one of these states stop doing whatever it is you are doing, because to do so would be to be in states of resistance - making enemy, obstacle, or means to an end of a thing, person or situation. Being in states of resistance creates suffering for self and others.

The thing is, if one recognises one is in a state of resistance, then the opportunity can change with the power of love and one can even turn something once seen as objectionable, into something that has purpose, either in strengthening our own awareness, capacity or willingness to be and interact with what 'is', or to bring love where once there was resistance.
The search at times can be confusing. It's almost as if the more you search the farther away you get from where you already were. Things like these make me feel like i'm running around in a circle at times.

I can't stop searching however... I've tried to stop searching and even when I do stop some sort of consequence always brings me back here.
We don't 'find joy' and nor does it find us; we BE joy.
We don't 'find love' and nor does it find us; we BE love.
Just as we don't find 'anger' 'resentment' 'fear' etc and neither do they find us - we BE them, we create the experience of them by our awareness, capacity and willingness to follow that path and bring them into experience.

Energy flows continuously, we plug in to it to create our experiences at whatever frequency we choose, knowingly or unknowingly.

All possible responses are unmanifest we choose which/what to create ~ these things we choose to plug into and express, and what we do be do be do be do be is constantly changing.

Enlightenment then, for me, just means reaching a level of awareness of this. Dragging along and growing in capacity and willingness, well that's the journey of living :D

What a head start you have in absorbing the wisdom of the sages!! When an 'irk' arises you can say hmm... what is this that I'm plugging into and allowing to flow - and choose awarely

- ooh and another tried and true wisdom - no choice is wrong ~ it just brings a different experience.

Many of us here look back to see and learn from the choices we made in unawareness. But once you have this awareness it's a whole different ball game. Don't be afraid of difference, we are all beautifully different.

With love, acceptance, enjoyment & enthusiasm become more the norm than the exception, and yes that may well set you apart, but it will also create a light within you that will shine for others to notice, or not, within their own awareness, capacity and willingness. It's not really personal, it's just energy taking form and expressing or being expressed, sometimes powerfully, sometimes quietly. I find love (gratitude & generosity) can embrace all things, and equally let all things go.

Welcome to the board Danny, I too look forward to reading your perspectives and feeling old :lol:

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:31 am
by dannydawiz
tomtom1 wrote:You really are wise beyond your years!

Perhaps I can point you to some things that have helped me. I think it's helpful to try and understand that true happiness is not really a state of mind. There's an old saying which goes along the lines of 'happiness is the absence of striving for happiness'. When you understand this you realise that it is the very search for happiness/joy which prevents you from having it. It also helps to remember that there is nothing you can think in conventional terms which will provide happiness or joy so no matter how much you mull it over in your mind you will just go round in circles. As you have already said you are doing.

As for enthusiasm, again I don't think this is something you can create. I think it comes naturally when you engage in something which is true for you. You cannot force yourself to be enthusiastic about something you are not enthusiastic about! :lol:

What was it that you did in the past which gave you the 'sincere states of mind' of joy and enthusiasm?
Thanks for the reply Tom.

If true happiness isn't a state of mind then what is it? Something that can't be defined?

What I'm referring to is overwhelming ambition. Intense drive to accomplish your goal along with the willingness to sacrifice everything in order to get it. Waking up in the morning with a purpose that gives meaning behind your actions.

This is the type of enthusiasm that I experienced when I was twelve years old and began to play the guitar. I made it my goal to become one of the greatest players in the world.
I had a practice log book in which I even wrote down my progress and how long I played. I would play for 8 hours on school days and 10 hours on week days even with schoolwork included. Every day I would wake up feeling excited throughout the entire day. The more I played the better I got and along with that so did my ego.

The greatest guitar player in the world was my identity.

It was literally who I believed myself to be or at least what I believed I was turning into. I would practice all day and then when I got to school I would play for all my friends. The girls LOVED me while the guys envied me. I even started a youtube channel and attracted myself my own fanbase/market. Once I saw that I was starting to get recognized it became an addiction. The more I practiced and played the more compliments I got from not only my friends and family but from the entire social media. I was living the teenage dream.

I wanted it all. Money, women, fame, recognition. I wanted people to envy me and for other people to want to be me. These were all the things that drove me as a teenager. I was VERY VERY VERY externally driven. This all went on from 7th grade until the beginning of my freshman year in high school. Thats when hell opened up to me.

Suddenly I stopped progressing.

I don't know why this happened but one day I just could not get any better. I actually got WORSE than I was before. I would spend HOURS trying to get better but as I failed and failed I began to go insane. I read all the books that I could on motor learning and all the videos that I could on improving my technique. I went on forums and asked everyone for their advice. I followed their advice and still I just could not get better!

My identity would not allow this.

I was supposed to be the greatest in the world one day. How was it that I couldn't progress? I began to hate myself. I would try and try hopelessly and then when things didn't work out I would cry myself to sleep.

Meanwhile when all of this was happening the fan base that I had attracted was disappearing.
All of the girls that loved me in middle school began to leave me.
ALL of my friends disappeared as I began to sacrifice my social life for the instrument.

I began to HATE public schools because I felt it didn't teach application, learning retention, or creativity. I would learn something one year and then I would forget it the next year. I would sit down in class questioning for what purpose does this knowledge serve? What could school teach me aside from what already existed? I wasn't interested in the imitation of already established principles. I was more concerned with application and innovation.

The music teacher I had in high school was COMPLETELY different from the one I had in middle school. I walked into his office and personally asked him if he would teach me certain things. His response was "how much will you pay me?" I would practice EVERY DAY in front of his office trying to get better and not ONCE did he offer to help me with anything. I would walk into his classroom and he WOULDN'T TEACH.

I began to HATE teachers. I saw school as compulsive and teachers as repulsive. The only person that I could rely on to teach me anything was myself I had thought. The internet became my teacher once I realized that I could ask it all the questions I wanted and it wouldn't complain and never failed me.

This was the end of my freshman year.

At this point I had already identified myself as a depressed person. My grades began to suffer and my parents no longer acknowledged me. ALL of my family members began to look at me in disgrace as I would constantly argue with them about how I thought college and high school were jokes of an education.

The same thing continued for most of my sophomore year. The only difference was that I hung out by myself my entire sophomore year. I didn't feel alone it just became my personal preference to hang out by myself. I would lay down isolated during lunch and just ask myself questions about what was right and what was wrong.

I was starting to get so good at using the internet to find information that I could spend the whole day on it asking questions. Books, videos, mp3s, software, you name it and I could find it. Then one day I discovered that google was censored and I began to distrust my own government. I felt like they were hiding something from me. I wanted to discover what it was.

This is when I discovered what is known as the DEEP WEB.

For those of you that don't know, the deep web is the part of the internet that you can't find on google. The deep web is uncensored and it's 500x bigger than the surface web is. You need a special application in order to reach this part of the internet.

Once I reached this part of the internet boy did I regret it.

I went there expecting to find knowledge but instead I found the most disturbing things that I had ever seen in my life. Assassination videos, Drug markets, Human Trafficking, Murder videos, Human Mutilation, Rape, Child Pornography, Death matches, Hitmen, and tons of other terrible things.

This was my very first introduction to human suffering.

I COULD NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT. All I felt was fear when I went to bed thinking of everything that I had witnessed. All this pain that was going on in the world that my eyes were completely shut out to. I became OVERWHELMINGLY DISGUSTED with the world. They say that when the Buddha came out from the palace walls he witnessed the suffering of the world. This is what I feel that I had gone through.

At this point I went into a severe depression. I remember lying down at school against a huge field of grass wanting to die. I had lost everything externally. Suddenly I felt so isolated from society. I learned my lessons on suffering, attachment to form, and ego very early in my life through experience.

I got a job during the summer and My junior year "this year" I requested to be homeschooled. I had to find peace of mind and I wasn't going to get that information from my school. I needed time to figure out what reality was really like.

A hundred books later I learned about everything from credit cards, interest rates, investing, stocks, bonds, real estate, law of attraction, illuminati, freemasonry, skulls & bones, bohemian grove, christianity, buddhism, colleges, learning methods, learned helplessness, affiliate marketing, SEO, video marketing, advertising, photoshop, web design, nutrition, ego, and a ton of other things that have completely changed my perspective on reality.

Somewhere down the line I discovered Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". The book literally saved me. All of a sudden everything that I had previously experienced made sense. Meanings to an end, attachments to form, identities, observation of thoughts, presence and everything from page one all the way to the final page.

My depression was suddenly gone because now I understood how to deal with all of the pain. Through the realization that I wasn't my thoughts came a sudden rebirth. With that rebirth came the peace of mind I was looking for.

That is the past story of my joy, enthusiasm, and what has led me here.

It's been half a year since then and I feel that my search is almost at its end.

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 9:50 am
by tomtom1
Wow that is quite an amazing story and you have been through a lot!
I'm pretty sure there are others on here who are more qualified to answer your questions :D

I'm glad you found A New Earth. It is quite a wonderful book. One of the core messages in the book is that nothing you experience can be permanent. Everything is temporary and this includes emotions such as; anger, sadness, happiness, joy, enthusiasm, rage. The trouble is we can become attached to things and of course this gives us trouble as they can never last.

You asked what is happiness if not an state of mind? Well the happiness the ego seeks is a state of mind. It's the physical sensation we get when we get a new girlfriend or win the lottery etc etc. but understand that no matter how much you seek that it can never last. That's why some pop and movie stars turn to drugs and spiral out of control. They have everything they could ever possibly want but still don't have happiness so it's like the end of the road! Where next!

There is a deeper joy that can arise when you understand this search is futile and just surrender. It's the simplicity of being.

It sounds to me like you are an extremely intelligent and intellectual person. Am I right in thinking that you like to analyse and understand things very deeply? If this is the case you may need to learn to look at things without your thinking mind. There is a famous saying which goes 'the truth that can be spoken is not the real truth'. Words can only ever point to the truth.

Eckhart does a wonderful job of trying to put the truth into words and little things we can understand, but don't get too attached to them as they are after all only words. The biggest joke of it all is that the 'ego' which we put so much emphasis on really doesn't exist. It's just a bundle of thoughts. The one that is seeking is an illusion and if you don't believe it then look for yourself. As yourself who is seeking happiness or joy? Try to find that one. Keep looking inside for that 'you' and you might not get the answers but you may find the questions fall away.

Two books I can highly recommend:

Be As You Are: the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi by David Godman
This is straight from the horses mouth so to speak even though the language is a bit difficult at times. This is where much of Eckharts teachings originated from.

The Deepest Acceptance: radical awakening in an ordinary life by Jeff Foster

One tip though. Don't get too stuck on reading book after book and don't get too stuck on words. Remember they are only pointers!

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:02 pm
by Webwanderer
dannydawiz wrote:I'm trying to learn is how to be enthusiastic about activities in the present moment. It just isn't as simple as acceptance however... Acceptance feels like a much more simple choice. On the other hand enthusiasm and joy cannot be faked. They are sincere states of mind that are real. I've felt them once before...
Enthusiasm comes through a sense of empowerment. When one feels like they have choices, the ability and resources to make things happen, and achievable goals to pursue, enthusiasm flows. I'm not just suggesting material goals but those of consciousness and being.

Pick these basics apart. In choices we have the freedom to decide what events and conditions mean. In controlling meaning we have incredible power to influence our experience. It doesn't matter what anyone else says something means, it only matters how we see it ourselves.

Ability is simply recognizing our freedom to choose. Once we recognize that we no longer have to succumb to the conditioning of past choices, we can make present informed choices that work in our own best interest.

Resources are the knowledge and understanding of how life energy flows into the focus of our attention. And goals are the uplifting preference on ever greater clarity in making one's life experience a joy. As I write this I feel that flow of enthusiasm and appreciation of the empowerment to create my chosen quality of life. It's not about stuff. It's about perspective.

One other point (well actually there's probably a lot of other points), achieving an end goal is far less important than attention to the journey to get there. Life is ongoing, and is lived in this moment. How we feel in this moment is most significant. And how we perceive this moment influences how we feel. Choosing our meaning with insight and understanding molds perception and thereby experience.

No doubt there will be ebbs and flows of positive and negative experience along the way. But these are just more opportunities to choose a greater perspective that is inclusive of all experience that is ultimately beneficial to our evolution of conscious being. Familiarity with that spacial consciousness, within which all experience takes place, is a core asset worth cultivating. It's by no means out of reach as it really is who we are.

WW

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:06 pm
by dannydawiz
smiileyjen101 wrote:Yum yum yum!! wowzer danny, I'm with the others who say 16 :D
Danny said: That is what I am trying to aim for. I want to be able to enjoy the activities for the sake of themselves. That in and of itself IS the whole point of living in the now.

I simply don't feel it though... I don't feel that feeling which I know to be joy. I feel like i'm so close..

What is the final step that I'm missing?
It's the essence of who you really are - love :D

Now if 'enlightenment' gets confusing and bandied around in a myriad of forms so too does love. My take on it (with many, many many etc etc moons under my belt :wink: ) is this, beautifully shared by a grateful and generous man called Don Miguel Ruiz (whose book The Four Agreements you may find helpful)

Love is the equilibrium of gratitude and generosity.

If you think about those times that you felt the joy - in undistorted essence - there was the flowing, the being, of love - gratitude & generosity in equal balance. Think on one example and you will see it, know the truth of it - joy flowed in gratitude and generosity.

The best definition I've found for Equilibrium is
"the condition of a system in which all competing influences are balanced, in a wide variety of contexts."
No thing is excluded, all elements are embraced, almost nakedly, purely, powerfully.
It's usually fleeting, but exhilarating all the same. One cannot chase it, one can only strip away the fears and egoic cloaks and stand naked with 'what is'.

In the later chapters of A New Earth ET discusses the difference in aware doing / being in states of acceptance (for this moment this is what is required of me and I do it willingly - that is without resistance); enjoyment (pouring the joy of love - gratitude and generosity into the moment/activity/interaction) and enthusiasm being like the arrow, flying towards a target aware of the moments of acceptance and opportunities to pour joy into the activity.

He says yes if you are not in one of these states stop doing whatever it is you are doing, because to do so would be to be in states of resistance - making enemy, obstacle, or means to an end of a thing, person or situation. Being in states of resistance creates suffering for self and others.

The thing is, if one recognises one is in a state of resistance, then the opportunity can change with the power of love and one can even turn something once seen as objectionable, into something that has purpose, either in strengthening our own awareness, capacity or willingness to be and interact with what 'is', or to bring love where once there was resistance.
The search at times can be confusing. It's almost as if the more you search the farther away you get from where you already were. Things like these make me feel like i'm running around in a circle at times.

I can't stop searching however... I've tried to stop searching and even when I do stop some sort of consequence always brings me back here.
We don't 'find joy' and nor does it find us; we BE joy.
We don't 'find love' and nor does it find us; we BE love.
Just as we don't find 'anger' 'resentment' 'fear' etc and neither do they find us - we BE them, we create the experience of them by our awareness, capacity and willingness to follow that path and bring them into experience.

Energy flows continuously, we plug in to it to create our experiences at whatever frequency we choose, knowingly or unknowingly.

All possible responses are unmanifest we choose which/what to create ~ these things we choose to plug into and express, and what we do be do be do be do be is constantly changing.

Enlightenment then, for me, just means reaching a level of awareness of this. Dragging along and growing in capacity and willingness, well that's the journey of living :D

What a head start you have in absorbing the wisdom of the sages!! When an 'irk' arises you can say hmm... what is this that I'm plugging into and allowing to flow - and choose awarely

- ooh and another tried and true wisdom - no choice is wrong ~ it just brings a different experience.

Many of us here look back to see and learn from the choices we made in unawareness. But once you have this awareness it's a whole different ball game. Don't be afraid of difference, we are all beautifully different.

With love, acceptance, enjoyment & enthusiasm become more the norm than the exception, and yes that may well set you apart, but it will also create a light within you that will shine for others to notice, or not, within their own awareness, capacity and willingness. It's not really personal, it's just energy taking form and expressing or being expressed, sometimes powerfully, sometimes quietly. I find love (gratitude & generosity) can embrace all things, and equally let all things go.

Welcome to the board Danny, I too look forward to reading your perspectives and feeling old :lol:
Thank you for replying Jen. :)

Love is the equilibrium of gratitude and generosity. Equilibrium is a system of balance.

I have yet to have had anyone tell me this. Thank you for your words.

Pouring the love of gratitude and generosity into the moment makes a lot more sense to me. Being grateful for whatever it is that your doing sounds like it's simply a matter of changing perspective.

Generosity on the other hand confuses me a bit. When I think of generosity I think of someone who is giving. I understand how you can be generous to other human beings. However, I don't see how you can apply that same generosity to the present moment. Would you mind clarifying a bit more on what you mean by generosity?

Enthusiasm on the other hand sounds a bit more like a goal is involved. Flying towards a target to me implies a meanings to an end and isn't that dangerous? And without joy it would be wouldn't it? The part of what you said that completes this is the following.

Being aware of the moments of acceptance and opportunities to pour joy into the activity.


Flying towards a target in this case would no longer be considered a meanings to an end because you are enjoying and accepting the activity as the opportunities arise.

A lot of things that you say make sense to me. We cannot be what we are searching for. I should stop searching completely in this case.

One thing that I feel that I realized through reading this post is that you cannot find joy. You can only allow it to flow through what you do by creating the perspectives necessary for it to arise.

Thank you so much for your post Jen. It really did help me out. :D

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:48 pm
by dannydawiz
Webwanderer wrote:
dannydawiz wrote:I'm trying to learn is how to be enthusiastic about activities in the present moment. It just isn't as simple as acceptance however... Acceptance feels like a much more simple choice. On the other hand enthusiasm and joy cannot be faked. They are sincere states of mind that are real. I've felt them once before...
Enthusiasm comes through a sense of empowerment. When one feels like they have choices, the ability and resources to make things happen, and achievable goals to pursue, enthusiasm flows. I'm not just suggesting material goals but those of consciousness and being.

Pick these basics apart. In choices we have the freedom to decide what events and conditions mean. In controlling meaning we have incredible power to influence our experience. It doesn't matter what anyone else says something means, it only matters how we see it ourselves.

Ability is simply recognizing our freedom to choose. Once we recognize that we no longer have to succumb to the conditioning of past choices, we can make present informed choices that work in our own best interest.

Resources are the knowledge and understanding of how life energy flows into the focus of our attention. And goals are the uplifting preference on ever greater clarity in making one's life experience a joy. As I write this I feel that flow of enthusiasm and appreciation of the empowerment to create my chosen quality of life. It's not about stuff. It's about perspective.

One other point (well actually there's probably a lot of other points), achieving an end goal is far less important than attention to the journey to get there. Life is ongoing, and is lived in this moment. How we feel in this moment is most significant. And how we perceive this moment influences how we feel. Choosing our meaning with insight and understanding molds perception and thereby experience.

No doubt there will be ebbs and flows of positive and negative experience along the way. But these are just more opportunities to choose a greater perspective that is inclusive of all experience that is ultimately beneficial to our evolution of conscious being. Familiarity with that spacial consciousness, within which all experience takes place, is a core asset worth cultivating. It's by no means out of reach as it really is who we are.

WW
Thank you!

I do agree that one of the core perspectives of enthusiasm is the achievement of some sort of goal. The enjoyment of the journey along with the dis-attachment you have to the outcome is the very thing that allows you to work without falling into depression when things go wrong.

In controlling meaning we have incredible power to influence our experience.

This to me is very influential. I've already learned a lot about perspectives from you. Perspective has the ability to turn a situation that would have originally led to failure into one that leads to the learning of past mistakes. I don't really feel like I've understood the importance of perspective until this point.

I'll continue to work on incorporating perspectives that will transform the experiences I go through into a more favorable light.

tomtom1 wrote:Wow that is quite an amazing story and you have been through a lot!
I'm pretty sure there are others on here who are more qualified to answer your questions :D

I'm glad you found A New Earth. It is quite a wonderful book. One of the core messages in the book is that nothing you experience can be permanent. Everything is temporary and this includes emotions such as; anger, sadness, happiness, joy, enthusiasm, rage. The trouble is we can become attached to things and of course this gives us trouble as they can never last.

You asked what is happiness if not an state of mind? Well the happiness the ego seeks is a state of mind. It's the physical sensation we get when we get a new girlfriend or win the lottery etc etc. but understand that no matter how much you seek that it can never last. That's why some pop and movie stars turn to drugs and spiral out of control. They have everything they could ever possibly want but still don't have happiness so it's like the end of the road! Where next!

There is a deeper joy that can arise when you understand this search is futile and just surrender. It's the simplicity of being.

It sounds to me like you are an extremely intelligent and intellectual person. Am I right in thinking that you like to analyse and understand things very deeply? If this is the case you may need to learn to look at things without your thinking mind. There is a famous saying which goes 'the truth that can be spoken is not the real truth'. Words can only ever point to the truth.

Eckhart does a wonderful job of trying to put the truth into words and little things we can understand, but don't get too attached to them as they are after all only words. The biggest joke of it all is that the 'ego' which we put so much emphasis on really doesn't exist. It's just a bundle of thoughts. The one that is seeking is an illusion and if you don't believe it then look for yourself. As yourself who is seeking happiness or joy? Try to find that one. Keep looking inside for that 'you' and you might not get the answers but you may find the questions fall away.

Two books I can highly recommend:

Be As You Are: the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi by David Godman
This is straight from the horses mouth so to speak even though the language is a bit difficult at times. This is where much of Eckharts teachings originated from.

The Deepest Acceptance: radical awakening in an ordinary life by Jeff Foster

One tip though. Don't get too stuck on reading book after book and don't get too stuck on words. Remember they are only pointers!
Thanks tom! I do agree that I shouldn't get to stuck on reading books. If there is anything that i've learned in the past year it's that there is a difference between reading & memorizing something versus understanding and applying what it is that you just read. Words are helpful in the sense that they point beyond themselves. Whenever I read a book I always make it a point to understand what it is that they are saying because it can potentially lead to a change in your perception and beliefs. I'll give those two books a reading thank you for the recommendation!

What you say about attachment makes sense. It is the very attachment to emotions like joy and happiness which prevents me from being able to enjoy the peace of mind given to me though presence. Whenever I enter presence the next question I had been asking myself was what's next? Where is that feeling of joy that I had experienced in the past? What I was really referring to wasn't joy but rather the attainment of form. The illusory joy felt by the ego whenever it receives what it wants. Like you said though it's all impermanent. Happiness, sadness, anger, enthusiasm, and euphoria are all temporary emotions that can simply come and go as your perspective of what your experiencing continues to fluctuate.

The very search for joy, enthusiasm and the attachment to the feelings they bring IS what has been leading to my resistance of the moment.

I can't believe how blind I really have been all along. I suppose I just need to learn to accept whatever it is that I'm currently feeling and simply do my best to reframe situations in a more favorable light which promotes these positive emotions.

Thank you Tom. Your post has led me to some great insight.

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 9:44 am
by smiileyjen101
Pouring the love of gratitude and generosity into the moment makes a lot more sense to me. Being grateful for whatever it is that your doing sounds like it's simply a matter of changing perspective.

Generosity on the other hand confuses me a bit. When I think of generosity I think of someone who is giving. I understand how you can be generous to other human beings. However, I don't see how you can apply that same generosity to the present moment. Would you mind clarifying a bit more on what you mean by generosity?
It may need a shift in how your think about generosity - think of generosity of spirit - grace - embracing what is.
So whatever moment you're in - it would be generous of spirit to embrace the elements of it, sun shining on you, ahhh in the moment thank you (gratitude & attentiveness, generosity - BEING fully with it, that's generous - caught out in the rain (yum!!)
Playing music - being both the player and the audience attentively, generously - openly, embracingly no matter what comes out - 'wrong' chord/note - generosity of spirit would not fight against it - kind of more oh hello 'g', I was 'expecting' 'd' :D not oh crap 'g', stupid idiot me rarghggh (enemy, obstacle etc) Just, oh, that's how a 'g' sounds in there, hello 'g' :)

The mode of 'love' the energy of it is light, holds nothing not wishing to be held, denies nothing wishing to be expressed, doesn't take offence at 'what is'. One cannot really be grateful, if one is also not generous with it - think of something that you are grateful for, your valuing of it is an expression of generosity - in recognising and appreciating it.
Enthusiasm on the other hand sounds a bit more like a goal is involved. Flying towards a target to me implies a meanings to an end and isn't that dangerous? And without joy it would be wouldn't it? The part of what you said that completes this is the following.

Being aware of the moments of acceptance and opportunities to pour joy into the activity.
BEing the arrow flying towards a target - you're missing the 'being' bit a little, being the arrow.

So again if we link it to music - there is no music without you - either playing or listening, or both, and in gratitude & generosity BEING with/in the music is a journey too. So while listening - being the music, knowing that the music is flowing, flying, reaching highs and soaring low.... every note a joy, every chord a combination of 'arrows' flowing into that chord. Every chord flowing into something bigger than itself - a phrase, every phrase building on those before it and soaring into those ahead of it - creating the song - the journey of that particular arrow. If you are the player - aware of fingers on strings and frets (with gratitude & generosity) awareness, capacity and willingness all tuned in and turned up.

If you are the 'arrow' of anything - walking to the store, aware of your gratitude for your feet and being generous with them, taking care not to abuse them, aware of every step and the changes of scenery, sights, sounds, smells, others on the path, or along the path. Alive, alive, alive - open to whatever appears.
One thing that I feel that I realized through reading this post is that you cannot find joy. You can only allow it to flow through what you do by creating the perspectives necessary for it to arise.
This is the truth of it. If you think you don't have it, - the awareness, the capacity, the willingness, you're not going to find it anywhere.

In breaking down the false stories we've told ourselves and letting them go, everything is perfect just as it is. Does that mean it will always feel 'happy' stuff, absolutely not. But even in pain, in sorrow, in anger and in torment, we can still choose to meet it with love, even if fear arises, to meet the fear with love.

I read your story elsewhere about your teacher not helping you,
I want to share something that I find most helpful in understanding whether love is flowing through us - from Neale Donald Walsch
Love is that without condition
without limitation
without need.

Because it is without condition it requires nothing in order to be expressed.
Because it is without limitation it places no limitation on another.
Because it is without need, is seeks nothing not freely given, to hold nothing not wishing to be held, to give nothing not joyously welcomed.
If things are not going how we wish, or expect etc fear & ego makes a fuss. Love applies gratitude and generosity - both for self (why put yourself through all the anguish) and others (why expect to understand the choices of another enough to judge them).

With love, all things are bearable. NDW even says 'love gives a soul back to itself', self and others.

Love is a pretty cool arrow to ride any where, any time, in any pursuit or interaction.

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:00 pm
by Webwanderer
I like this expression of generosity. Here's what it feels like to me. It feels like the gift of freedom. We have a good deal of judgment and resistance built up within us over our lifetimes. Our offering of freedom for life and others to be as it/they are without our restriction and judgment, is a gift to life and all its content that we no longer intend to control or judge it. Generosity is just as significant when applied to ourselves as it is to others and life as a whole. In a sense generosity is born of a trust in Life that all is unfolding as it should.

It feels naturally expansive.

WW

Re: Someone help me please...

Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2014 9:41 am
by smiileyjen101
I like this expression of generosity. Here's what it feels like to me. It feels like the gift of freedom...


It feels naturally expansive.
:D Yes it does Webby :D
Love opens up, embraces; fear closes down, insulates.