Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

This is the place to post whatever questions you have related to the teachings of Eckhart Tolle. The rest of us will do whatever we can to help you achieve a better understanding :)
Post Reply
User avatar
dannydawiz
Posts: 78
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:18 am

Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by dannydawiz » Sat May 10, 2014 7:44 pm

Hello everyone this is Danny again.

I've been having this problem recently where I wake up and immediately feel this sort of mental heaviness. It's a feeling of resistance I believe because I wake up thinking to myself "ugh another day..." Trapped with these problems that are never going to change.

I know that this is just a negative repetitive thought pattern but it still affects me. When you keep on trying to do something and keep on failing you begin to gain a condition known as learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is when you begin to feel that no matter how hard you try at something things are never going to change. I feel that this is something affects me a lot more than I'm aware of.

I already understand that change isn't possible before you free yourself from your false identity.
What do you do though when conditions still don't change though?

For example one thing that always follows me around is this mild anxiety I get in certain situations such as presenting, family get togethers, and any sort of performing. It seems that no matter what I do my fight or flight system ALWAYS comes to me. No matter how hard I convince myself that I have nothing to fear, it ALWAYS comes up.

Another thing that follows me is my slow work pace. Whenever I was in school I would usually be the last person to finish a test. I've always had trouble understanding directions given to me from other people verbally. Once I was in a science class and we did an experiment on reaction time and I had gotten FAR lower than everyone else.

The final thing that bothers me is that I have trouble writing music. I love to listen to it and I hear it so logically but whenever I try to write anything I almost always end up throwing it away because It just doesn't sound good enough. It seems that no matter how hard I work or how present I am it just always ends with the same result.

What can I do to get over these insecurities of mine? Even when I do my best to believe that these aren't true and that they are simply false identities I've created for myself they still just don't change. They don't change and it kills me inside. Even when I accept these qualities they still continue to show up. It makes me want to feel like a victim. Part of me wants to blame who knows what it was in my childhood that made me this way. I don't know if its genetics or if its the way I was raised I just start to get sad and ask myself why.

Normally I just work through all of this mind noise but recently it's just been getting heavier the more that circumstances prove them to be true. It makes me want to stop trying but then I just remind myself to push through. That I am not what I think I am.

What can I do to get over these circumstances?

Phil2
Posts: 1379
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:24 pm

Re: Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by Phil2 » Sat May 10, 2014 10:02 pm

dannydawiz wrote: I've been having this problem recently where I wake up and immediately feel this sort of mental heaviness. It's a feeling of resistance I believe because I wake up thinking to myself "ugh another day..." Trapped with these problems that are never going to change.

...

What can I do to get over these circumstances?
Hello Danny,

Seems you are opposing a lot of resistance to your life as it is happening now, right ? This resistance is probably consuming a lot of your energy, which could be why you feel "heavy" in the morning ...

Did you ever try to stop the fight and accept things as they are ? without wanting or trying to change anything ?

Looking for change means living in time, future, while acceptance of 'what is' brings you immediately back to the now, where there is no problem at all ... no conflict ...

What you resist persists ...
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

User avatar
dannydawiz
Posts: 78
Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:18 am

Re: Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by dannydawiz » Sat May 10, 2014 10:59 pm

Phil2 wrote:
dannydawiz wrote: I've been having this problem recently where I wake up and immediately feel this sort of mental heaviness. It's a feeling of resistance I believe because I wake up thinking to myself "ugh another day..." Trapped with these problems that are never going to change.

...

What can I do to get over these circumstances?
Hello Danny,

Seems you are opposing a lot of resistance to your life as it is happening now, right ? This resistance is probably consuming a lot of your energy, which could be why you feel "heavy" in the morning ...

Did you ever try to stop the fight and accept things as they are ? without wanting or trying to change anything ?

Looking for change means living in time, future, while acceptance of 'what is' brings you immediately back to the now, where there is no problem at all ... no conflict ...

What you resist persists ...
Yes Phil I have tried this. When I accept what is there is never any conflict. How can there be conflict if you accept what is? The only thing that happened after my acceptance was a lack of motivation. I struggle with natural motivation versus egoic motivation. The difference being that with the former you can do things for the sake of themselves and let that be your motivation. Egoic motivation is based off of the desire to aquire a title, possession, or acknowledgement.

Still though does accepting what is mean that you can't make an effort to change anything? Or does it give you the ability to create change without any unnecessary conflict.

Phil2
Posts: 1379
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:24 pm

Re: Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by Phil2 » Sat May 10, 2014 11:21 pm

dannydawiz wrote: Still though does accepting what is mean that you can't make an effort to change anything? Or does it give you the ability to create change without any unnecessary conflict.
Yes accepting 'what is' allows you to 'do' things effortlessly, without any conflict ... you just do what has to be done, you don't need thought to interfere in this, no conflict can arise, no resistance ... in this your energy is no more wasted, and you don't need any motivation, motivation is only needed when you have to make efforts ... do you need motivation to eat when you are hungry ? ... or to do things you like ?
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

sardinelover
Posts: 101
Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2009 5:50 am

Re: Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by sardinelover » Sun May 11, 2014 2:42 am

This "morning heaviness" happens to everybody. It is a continuum of the unconsciouness of sleep into the unconsciouness of daily existence. It is most noticeable in the morning(and evening) when there are few distractions. It is an all-day heaviness.

The good news is that whenever you are aware of it(the voice in your head), you become conscious. This is awakening in the truest sense. Make it an all day meditation.
Relax your face

Phil2
Posts: 1379
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:24 pm

Re: Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by Phil2 » Sun May 11, 2014 10:36 am

sardinelover wrote:This "morning heaviness" happens to everybody. It is a continuum of the unconsciouness of sleep into the unconsciouness of daily existence. It is most noticeable in the morning(and evening) when there are few distractions. It is an all-day heaviness.
Very true, the unconsciousness of our dreams during sleep leads to some kind of psychological disorder, ill-at-ease, heaviness, when I wake up in the morning ... this is also why I need my morning meditation to get rid of this ... and it works fine ...

Maybe the next step would be to remain aware during sleep ...

:?:
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

alex
Posts: 557
Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:28 am

Re: Morning Heaviness & Learned Helplessness

Post by alex » Sun May 11, 2014 12:33 pm

Even when I accept these qualities they still continue to show up.
I hear in there that your acceptance is not genuine. You are accepting in the hope of it disappearing. That's not unconditional acceptance. Unconditional acceptance is more like - I accept this, forever.
Another thing that follows me is my slow work pace. Whenever I was in school I would usually be the last person to finish a test. I've always had trouble understanding directions given to me from other people verbally. Once I was in a science class and we did an experiment on reaction time and I had gotten FAR lower than everyone else.

The final thing that bothers me is that I have trouble writing music. I love to listen to it and I hear it so logically but whenever I try to write anything I almost always end up throwing it away because It just doesn't sound good enough. It seems that no matter how hard I work or how present I am it just always ends with the same result.
This is just the way you are. It causes you to have a deep feeling/belief that there is something wrong with you. Is that right? You need to learn to accept your brokenness. Not in the hope of becoming fixed but just truly accepting that you are broken. Perfectly broken!

Can you do that?

Self acceptance is key. Hold yourself in tender okay-ness. Be your own oasis of self acceptance and love, no matter how bad and broken you are.

There will be belief systems running too. If you want to be free you need to question them. I HIGHLY recommend Byron Katie for that leg of the journey. She's written a few books.

Post Reply