I can´t get over her

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GermanEnlightenment
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by GermanEnlightenment » Mon May 19, 2014 6:06 pm

This turned into an interesting discussion guys. :) I have to say writing in here already helped me tremendously because I can´t really talk about mindfulness with someone in real life.

Today I saw her again in class and I was really observant of my feelings and thoughts towards her. What I realized today is that my path must definitely be one where I learn how to be content with myself before I get into a relationship with a girl. The simple realization that I´m already "enough" is actually pretty mind-blowing (hah!) to me. Today I felt such a relief in my interactions with her and other people because I simply wasn´t expecting any specific outcome but returned to an observant perspective again and again.
I also realized that I am quite dependent on the external validation of other people and that I often times try to passive-agressively please others instead of speaking my own mind and beleving in myself. I do this in a rather subtle way but it definitely comes from an egoic place that believes that others will dislike me should I just be myself with all my weaknesses exposed.

It´s hard to describe in words but it really felt like I was acting from a much more aware place today and everything arround me felt so much warmer and inviting. Looking back on it, this girl´s rejection of my romantic advances was probably the best thing that could happen to me, otherwise I would´ve never learned so much about me. :D

It´s easy to fall back into old thought patterns though. I was just listening to a song that reminded me of the time when I fell in love with her and realized that I had the choice of wallowing in those feeling again or simply do something else with with my time that doesn´t re-enforce this egoic longing.
Last edited by GermanEnlightenment on Mon May 19, 2014 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)

postwins
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by postwins » Mon May 19, 2014 6:20 pm

Howdy. I am so glad to hear that you are bringing awareness to the situation and that it is helping.
Looking back on it, this girl´s rejection of my romantic advances was probably the best thing that could happen to me, otherwise I would´ve never learned so much about me. :D
Another thing to realize is that even if she had a change of heart and realized that she was super into you, this would also have been a learning experience. The reality of the relationship never would have lived up to the expectations of the ego and this also would have brought suffering.

- Jason
One problem, one solution.

Phil2
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by Phil2 » Mon May 19, 2014 10:18 pm

GermanEnlightenment wrote: What I realized today is that my path must definitely be one where I learn how to be content with myself before I get into a relationship with a girl. The simple realization that I´m already "enough" is actually pretty mind-blowing (hah!) to me.
Right, good to hear this :-) ... this is really a key issue: you are already complete, you need nobody to complete you ... you cannot start a balanced relationship being in such a huge 'need' ... this very understanding, which is not only a thought but a fact, can heal many psychological problems ...

Today I felt such a relief in my interactions with her and other people because I simply wasn´t expecting any specific outcome but returned to an observant perspective again and again.
I also realized that I am quite dependent on the external validation of other people and that I often times try to passive-agressively please others instead of speaking my own mind and beleving in myself. I do this in a rather subtle way but it definitely comes from an egoic place that believes that others will dislike me should I just be myself with all my weaknesses exposed.
I don't resist to quote once more a scene from the movie "Apocalypse Now" when Colonel Kurtz (played by Marlon Brando) says:

" Have you ever considered any real freedom ? Freedom from the opinion of others... even the opinions of yourself ? "

Maybe Colonel Kurtz was not so crazy after all :-)

We are so needy of others' recognition that we have to wear all kinds of masks and social facade to please others and be 'accepted' in their groups, accept all kinds of authorities and rules and social conformism ... there is no freedom in this ... this is utter slavery indeed ...
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

Mariposa
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OMG I relate to this so much

Post by Mariposa » Tue May 20, 2014 10:49 pm

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, GermanEnlightenment.
endless states of despair and sadness
I am there!
Looking so deeply into the abyss of hopelessness
So much of this...
I think when I initially fell in love with her I was too afraid to screw things up so I fell into the nice guy-trap, acting like someone that never disagrees, caters to her needs while being inauthentic and is afraid to move things forward in the physical sense.
It´s just that I don´t know if I´m really fond of her as a friend or if I´m behaving this way because I think we might have another shot someday.
This is amazing of you to learn about yourself, so honest, it's great to see this.
It´s like a drug addiction: I get a great high when I'm with her but on the weekends I miss her like hell and need a fix.
Oh God, I am now experiencing symptoms of withdrawal, so bad. It is SO uncomfortable, I feel you!
It´s just that I´m really tired of this constant cycle of highs and lows as far as my feelings are concerned. One minute I feel angry and depressed about the current situation but meet me an hour later and I´m full of hope
I am going through this, and I just don't want it! I am closing off to these feelings instead of allowing them, embracing them, and letting them pass by.
this girl (or my egoic attachment to her) really threw me off-balance
I particularly appreciate you mentioning this, since it makes me realize it's what has happened to me as well.
A sense of longing in the body, of incompleteness, a craving for the warmth of her proximity. Close your eyes and experience this feeling as deeply as you possibly can. If a thought arises in your mind, hold that in your awareness as well but do not judge or label it. At first this will be extremely uncomfortable, like cauterizing a wound. The ego will come up with a dozen reasons to flee from the experience. "This is stupid." "You're making it worse!" The urge to hide will come in some form or another. Watch that urge but don't be the urge.
Thank you so much for this, Postwins!
I would say why not enjoy this love you give ? Why do you want to 'catch' her ? to secure an 'official' physical relationship ? ... love is the important 'factor' ... the fact is that you are already complete in yourself, you need nobody to complete you, you are already perfect as you are
Nooooooo!!! Lies!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
... do not listen to those voices in your head telling you "I am unhappy, I am no good, I have problems etc." ... unhappiness is a thought ... throw this thought away ... and be happy as you are ... here and now ...
:| I can't possibly do this right now. My only option for the time being is to embrace the extreme sense of lack that is overwhelming me.
Time ?

Time (what J.Krishnamurti called "psychological time") is the distance between 'what is' (now) and what 'should be' (future, expectation) ... and time is suffering ...

So why create expectations at all ? and not be happy here and now ? Why create 'time' ?

...

Did you read "The Power of Now" from a certain Eckhart Tolle ?
:lol: :lol: True.

Reading this post and taking the most helpful bits I could find has helped me understand what I have to do, the only thing I can do, be the space for this, just bring it on!! So be it! I am here for it. Don't fight it. It already is.

Phil2
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Re: OMG I relate to this so much

Post by Phil2 » Tue May 20, 2014 11:01 pm

Mariposa wrote:Don't fight it.
Right, Carl Jung said (in German) "What you fight, it remains" often poorly translated as "what you resist persists" (but this last translation sounds better, and is of course also true)

:)
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

GermanEnlightenment
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by GermanEnlightenment » Wed May 21, 2014 8:38 pm

@Mariposa

I think in the end the only thing that will help you is to accept the situation as it is. I know that´s easier said than done and if you are caught up in a emotional whirlwind that you can´t escape almost everything anyone says to you won´t get through to you. :) I felt the same way.
Usually I´m a pretty logical and clear-minded guy and I knew that it was pointless to suffer anymore but that didn´t help me when I woke up in the morning, feeling an overwhelming sense of desperation and hopelessness in me. These negative feelings then led to negative thoughts and it all turned into an endless cycle of suffering.

It helped me tremendously to write in here but at the end of the day you are the only one that can make a change. The great thing about suffering so intense and deeply is that it is more likely that you have a spiritual breakthrough. If you really allow yourself to look at your flaws, practicing total self-honesty you will gain so much from it. It´s really really hard but you will come out as a stronger, wiser and more aware person. :)
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)

Mariposa
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by Mariposa » Thu May 22, 2014 8:59 am

Thank you.

GermanEnlightenment
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by GermanEnlightenment » Thu May 22, 2014 6:32 pm

Today I had a "return of the ego"-moment. The girl I was writing about didn´t show up in class and because of that I was in a really bad mood for almost the entire morning. I realized that I expected her to show up like usually to talk to her and I was disappointed that she wasn´t there. The voice inside my head then returned and said: "See, you won´t get over her. You still need to have her beside you every day to feel fulfilled. Right now she is probably having a lot of fun somewhere and you aren´t part of it. She is probably flirting with some other guy right now and doesn´t care about you at all. So just give up, all this enlightenment-stuff doesn´t work at all."

But I stayed with those feelings and allowed them to pass through me and suddenly I broke through their poisonous spell. In the afternoon I was in a much better state and had my fun with other people.
All in all I feel like making progress. It happened before that she didn´t show up in class and that lead me to feel depressed all day, including listening to sad music for hours after class. This time though these feelings of missing her presence only lasted a couple of hours.

It´s weird though. Right now I feel like I only live in two extreme states. I´m either totally relaxed, patient, excited and witty or I´m sad, irritable, hopeless and cynical. But I feel like the times that I´m in my "positive" state get increasingly longer. But damn, those "return of the ego"-states really feel like someone is crushing my soul, nearly unbearable.
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)

Phil2
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by Phil2 » Thu May 22, 2014 10:49 pm

GermanEnlightenment wrote:she realized I was interested in her even though she wasn´t.
Here is a video in which Eckhart Tolle answers exactly the same question from a participant:

"Why is love not 'reciprocated' ? ... Why does one-way love traffic situation arise ? I am placing my aching heart before you ... please operate"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KNefVPDbsQ

Look at chapter 09 (relationships) starting at 42:05 minutes in the video. You might find it interesting ...

:-)
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

GermanEnlightenment
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by GermanEnlightenment » Sun May 25, 2014 2:38 pm

Guys, I feel like I´m getting somewhere.

This weekend was just the worst. On Friday this girl and I had a very interesting talk where I felt like we really connected on a deeper level with each other. She revealed some personal insecurities and fears to me and was suprised that she ended up sharing those with me. I could tell she felt better afterwards and more encouraged to pursue a certain goal that she was afraid of before. We also talked about our summer vacation and that we should climb a mountain together or go on St. James way because we could stand each other´s company for so long with getting annoyed or bored. This was more funny banter of course but it was nice to imagine doing these things together. During our talk we were sitting so close to each other and I felt the same way I initially felt when I fell in love with her. It´s torture.

On saturday I was at a friend´s birthday and my friends encouraged me to talk to other girls again and although that was quite refreshing to me I frankly couldn´t have cared less about my interactions with any of them. Now that some time has passed I´m thinking about asking this girl in my class out again. I don´t know what else to do. Honestly, I think it would be easier for me to get over her if she would say that she hates me and never wants to see me again right in my face. That I can work with. But right now it seems like she shows some sign of interest in me again but I honestly can´t tell because when it comes to her I´m totally oblivious most of the time. Should I just talk about my feelings with her?

Now it´s sunday and all I´ve done so far is listening to sad "The Cure"-songs and writing in this forum. Interestingly enough though apart from my love-life all the other areas in my life have improved. I´m making a lot of progress in school, sports and learning about myself. I´m also more confident to lead (we do group works at school), connecting with people (making new friends) and not editing myself when talking to people. It´s strange. :)
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)

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smiileyjen101
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sat May 31, 2014 1:46 am

What a really lovely, honest sharing GE, thank you.

Sometimes we too quickly pass over the gems in our thinking - I thought I'd highlight this gem for you -
I realized that I expected her to show up... and I was disappointed that she wasn´t there.
The 'disappointment' is always in the distance between expectation and reality.

Just as in reverse a 'surprise' in pleasure is the same - expectation / reality distance.

Your 'realization' is a gem. Whenever disappointment arises we can either build on the story of it, holding to and reinforcing the fantasy of expectation, or we can look at the expectation as a 'wrong thinking' in the light of the reality.

An expectation is just a something that 'may' have happened, and it may again, but no thing is promised outside of this moment. It is what it is (reality) and there is much peace to be had in accepting that.

So what happened in that distance between expectation and reality egoic response is the part of you that is using that girl as a means to an end - a feel good stimuli - it got upset that that part of you would not be able to 'perform' in the role you have created in interacting with her. You had no thing to 'bounce' off until your knee jerk reaction of disappointment subsided and then you could see the other people around you.

Do you think it's interesting that your 'ego' went in this direction from 'means to an end' making of her to >>> making enemy, obstacle to your sense of peace and well being ....
Right now she is probably having a lot of fun somewhere and you aren´t part of it. She is probably flirting with some other guy right now and doesn´t care about you at all. "
Somehow you turned something that was happening to her - whatever reason she was not there, into a story about you.

You really (bless you GE) are not that powerful that others are living their lives just to piss you off, your ego would just like you to think that you are :wink: It's also interesting that you described those thoughts as 'poison'.

But I stayed with those feelings and allowed them to pass through me and suddenly I broke through their poisonous spell. In the afternoon I was in a much better state and had my fun with other people.
^^^ :D The more you do this, realise your thoughts and expectations are not necessarily 'true' the easier it will become to move from expectation to reality with an almost shrug of your shoulders, (it is what it is) and love for yourself and others powering the acceptance, rather than disappointment 'poisoning' your thoughts and feelings. Then it's like oh, I had that expectation, I am disappointed (and that's okay too)... move with what is.

It may also be helpful to recognise when you are feeding and clothing and making a place at your table for the expectations ----- eg:
We also talked about our summer vacation and that we should climb a mountain together or go on St. James way because we could stand each other´s company for so long with getting annoyed or bored. This was more funny banter of course but it was nice to imagine doing these things together.
Could you, could you imagine, climb that mountain happy to have whatever arose in reality arise, with her or without her, with or without how you might imagine it 'should' be?

Any time SHOULD arises there is an expectation holding it up. For the most part our expectations do happen, so I'm not saying don't have them, - I don't mean dreams and wishes outside of day to day happenings occurring, usually our expectation that we can travel safely from a to b is fulfilled, that people will be generally courteous and helpful, that our work will produce expected results etc it's only when our reality & our expectations are found to be at a distance that we need to 'adjust'. Suffering comes from holding on to the expectation in the face of an opposing reality.

Your improvements in other areas may just be in noticing the swinging from presence to ego and back again. The more we 'suffer' the more we appreciate because we've widened our 'breadth' of experience.

Have you read Conversations with God GE? It has wonderful sharing on relating.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

GermanEnlightenment
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by GermanEnlightenment » Sat May 31, 2014 6:44 pm

smiileyjen101 wrote: Have you read Conversations with God GE? It has wonderful sharing on relating.
Thanks for responding and recommending these books to me, I´ll definitely look into it.


This girl and I met each other again outside of school and we really bonded over our past by showing a lot of genuine interest in the other person. I think now that we have done some friend´s things together it´s easier for me to see her as a "normal", flawed human being instead of an ideal version of a woman that should make me happy. I realized that in the past I treated her more as a mere opportunity to get a girlfriend and have someone to be physically intimate with; now I feel like I see her more as a whole person and there´s a lot of mutual respect and understanding going on between us. We have a lot of great conversations and it seems like we have an endless repertoire of funny things to say and silly stories to share. It´s a lot of fun. There´s also a lot of teasing and bantering between us which is refreshing and keeps things interesting. I think it´s also a great training-ground for both of us to improve our flirting-skills by testing out bad jokes, using sexual innuendos and doing "couple-activities" together. :mrgreen:

It has also now dawned on me that I projected a lot of my deepest desires on her in a very unfair way. I can´t remember when it started but it must´ve been in my teenage years when I began to think that I´m damaged beyond repair and I could only be whole again if some girl would show up in my life and save me from the empty shell that was me. A saviour that woud make everything perfect and woud take the responsibility of making my own life worthwhile away from me. I now understand that this can´t be the right way. Because even if we got together the rush of having found someone that makes me feel whole again would probably only last for a couple of months and then I would be right where I started.

Typing these things out already makes me feel more aware and in the moment but there are still phases where my egoic attachment to her returns in full form. Then I feel overwhelmed by a deep longing for her and I really have troubling holding back my tears. I try to distance myself from the despair and pain but it´s just so strong and it really drags me down and interrupts whatever activity I´m doing. But maybe that´s just the ego´s way of dealing with these new revelations? Understanding that there actually won´t be a woman that will show up in my life and make everything perfect while I don´t have to do anything? I mean this was a belief that I held onto for a very long time, so it would make sense that it takes quite a while for the ego to deal with how reality really is.
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)

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smiileyjen101
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sun Jun 01, 2014 2:21 am

I really like the sound/feel of this new found respect you are feeling and expressing for this girl and for yourself, and for unveiling the false thoughts gently GE
I see her more as a whole person and there´s a lot of mutual respect and understanding going on between us. We have a lot of great conversations and it seems like we have an endless repertoire of funny things to say and silly stories to share. It´s a lot of fun. There´s also a lot of teasing and bantering between us which is refreshing and keeps things interesting
These opportunities are precious indeed, gifts of life stuff.

I have a dear friend who initially was a possible romance sort of thing in my teen years with whom the banter and joy has lasted nearly forty years. What a blessing that the 'repertoire' has indeed been endless, still as fresh and interesting and caring and fun today as it was back then; and yes in the early days until we sorted out the expectations & realities of the energy between us, what angst!! Sometimes what feels so wonderful in attraction and relating is that platonic friendship freedoms that seem to get covered over or imposed on by the romantic notions and expectations that this one person will fulfil all of our needs and we theirs. That really is just a manufactured construct of society, telling us what we 'need' to be whole, indoctrinating us into feeling and believing that we are not already whole.

Our friendship has outlived all of our (separate) romantic relationships. We're more like irreverently loving soul brother/sister than anything and its really precious. That 'attraction' energy didn't really go anywhere, we've just more accurately interpreted / absorbed what it is - pure love in gratitude & generosity of the 'whole' person recognising the other 'whole' person it's quite 'electric' energy.

In honesty both of us would have driven each other totally nuts if our relationship did go down the romantic path - romantic comedy in the extreme most likely :wink:

Seeing and accepting the 'whole person', of others and of your self is a really huge step in opening yourself up to opportunities to be who we really are, a really huge step. This girl is indeed a gift to you.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

GermanEnlightenment
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by GermanEnlightenment » Mon Jun 02, 2014 10:30 pm

Nice sharing, smiileyjen101, I really appreciate your input. :)


These days my ego is doing strange things. I think now that I slide out of my "I´m in love with this girl"-condition - which was the best and worst time of my life simultaneously - it just feels so incredibly boring to go back to "normal" life. I experienced such great highs and lows in the last couple of months and now what? Should I just go back to my old ways, doing the same things that I did before? I feel this constant restlessness in me to go out and do something but I have no idea what. I´m unable to go back reading books, watching movies and getting engrossed in topics that interest me. I´m somehow more interested in doing extreme things like bungeejumping, climbing a mountain or exhausting myself with more sport. Stangely enough, these are all physical activities whereas months ago I was hardly doing anything that didn´t involve my mind in some way.

On the outside it must look like I adapted a "devil may care"-attitude when I´m with other poeple, secretely though, I still care a lot. I feel a certain weariness with life and constantly ask myself what the point of any of this should be. I still feel this lack inside of me that was already there before I fell in love with this girl.
But as I already mentioned my life improved in many other ways. In the last couple of moths I became more emotionally expressive, improved my communcation skills,worked very hard on my physical shape, learned tons about men and women, became generally more assertive etc. All those things are nice on the level of form :) but I feel no closer to anything "real" than before. I somehow wish to loose all hope to reach enlightenment because secretely I believe it will only happen when I´m suffering like hell and not when I´m doing anything to work towards it (whatever that means anyway). :lol:

I talked about my current boredom with life with this girl as well and she was very sympathetic to my plight. She herself has been moving from here to there in the last couple of years and we again talked about all those exciting things that we could together in our summer vacation.
"Happiness / Something in my own place / I'm standing naked / Smiling, I feel no disgrace / With who I am/ I´m a lucky man...with fire in my hands"
(The Verve - Lucky Man)

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smiileyjen101
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Re: I can´t get over her

Post by smiileyjen101 » Tue Jun 03, 2014 5:15 am

It's funny GE, you are so reminding me of my long time friendship.

That started with a conversation at a party and we both got so passionate about our perspectives on what life was 'for' and how best to live it (as only a 16 year old and a 19 year old could express so confidently :lol: ) we had to move outside to hear each other. In one way or another, over myriads of interactions, we are both the expression of both of our perspectives if we were to collapse them.

The 'differences' were I was saying you just gotta live it, second hand experience is never going to really have you understand 'stuff'. He was saying well you don't have to live it, you can learn from others living it, why would you want to put yourself through that which is not necessary?

Talk about the law of attraction, let the fun begin!!

It's both, and neither, and both - just both really :lol: It's whatever we imagine it to be. We get just exactly the right sharing or experience unfolding as it is/does. In the early days of our friendship I'd be off around the world adventuring in 'experience' (often extreme) and he would drive me nuts saying you didn't have to go all that way or through all that - I've just read this book, or watched that movie or doco.... and come to the same conclusion about it - you 'should' read or watch it.

Or I'd drive him nuts talking about nuances that can only be known in experience, which makes no sense at all unless you have experienced the nuances of a thing.

Silly little signposts along the way bring us both back to this original conversation, and what we're seeing is that we are both moving towards the middle. Our journeys have been one of balance, and balancing both of our earlier so distant perspectives. It actually took the two of us to do that. His 'extreme' one way, always did balance my extreme the 'other' way and somehow we've always managed to be perfect balance.

He'll more likely these days ask me how he can open himself to an experience, or balance in the scarier parts of them, knowing that I will not judge him or others for their parts in a thing; and I'm more likely to raid his library or extensive memory for good reads and docos. It was him who called me and said I've just read an awesome book, you HAVE to get it and read it (nothing 'really' changes that much :wink: ). It was A New Earth. And after I read it we discussed that I sort of have lived life backwards to many that are described in ET's work - being acceptance, enjoyment & enthusiasm sometimes to the absolute decimation of, and oblivious to the 'little me' nuances of fear and making enemy, obstacle, means to an end of things. It helped me to more understand the perspectives and the 'why' of those who live more in fear and suffering, and to also find more balance by considering my egoic & physical 'needs' a little more. (wonder if anyone else would ever thank ET for introducing them to their ego and learning tips on how to 'strengthen' it :lol: )

I guess what I'm sharing GE, is apart from this girl being a blessing, every interaction, every waking moment is the opportunity to honour every blessing. If you can take that 'whole person' respect into every interaction and... the 'addition' in my wisdom - also apply it to your self, then every moment is one of love.

And if you find yourself out of love - with anything or anyone or any situation and with your self ... then it's easy to 'correct', to move back to balance. If you can imagine that fun-filled level of relating in everything you do - it's not what you do or are doing that matters, it's how you are doing it - in love and presence, or in suffering & clouded fear.

It sounds to me that you're waking up that there is a whole world of experience out there .... as much or as little as you want to partake of it, is all good.

By opening yourself up to love the 'view' widens, the opportunities are endless and always to BE love.

It can be a little 'heady' when you free yourself up from fear and there is balance still to be had between the physical reality and the overarching one. You can't do any of it wrong, truly you will just have the experience of it, however you choose.
I somehow wish to loose all hope to reach enlightenment because secretly I believe it will only happen when I´m suffering like hell and not when I´m doing anything to work towards it (whatever that means anyway). :lol:
It won't 'happen' it will just BE, and working 'towards' it' is only 'working towards it'. You don't have to suffer - LOVE is 'it'. (not the pining I am less than complete and 'need' someone notion of love - that full person respect energy that allows you to show up just as you beautifully are, and appreciates others just as they are too.)
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

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