Need Help Curing Depression

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Need Help Curing Depression

Postby dannydawiz » Wed Feb 11, 2015 2:34 am

Hello everyone.

I never thought I'd be this way again but somehow I've relapsed into the worst depression of my life. I've been put on antidepressants for 1 week which so far haven't been helping and I am constantly throwing up due to who knows what. I've seen a therapist for the first time and he basically just asked me a bunch of questions and then said that he thinks there may be a little bit of a depression and senioritis. Nothing to particularly helpful but I'm trying not to lose faith. Anyways I'm not gonna sit here and wait in my misery for the next appointment.

Symptoms include...

- Loss of joy in daily activities
- Feelings of dread when waking up
- Wanting to sleep to much
- Low confidence in my ability to complete tasks
- Social isolation
- Low confidence in my ability to make friends and talk to people
- Lack of meaning
- Lack of control
- Feelings of guilt
- Feelings of inadequacy
- Inability to focus.
- Loss of motivation
- Loss of an understanding of reality.
- Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep.
- Feeling constantly tired.
- Thoughts about death
- Trouble making decisions
- Mild Social Anxiety
- Confusion over what I want out of life
- Insecurity over appearance
- Worrying about future outcomes

I want to get out of this recurring cycle but I don't know how or where to start.

I trust the people on this board. I know that you guys aren't licensed therapists or psychiatrists but I don't have any other place else that I can ask for help. Communicating these things is also hard for me to do in person and I feel like I'm much better understood on this board.

What should I do guys? Where do I begin? How do I overcome depression?
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby DavidB » Wed Feb 11, 2015 5:43 am

I'm certainly not a nutritionist, but I can't help thinking that maybe you have a nutritional deficiency? This has happened to me before and when I changed my diet, I felt 100% better. It's worth investigating, trust me. You'll be surprised just how vital it is to have adequate nutrition and how it can affect mental well being.

As for depression, I've had severe depression in the past so I know what that is like. I came to realize that depression isn't always necessarily a negative thing. We oscillate over time and sometimes we dip down too low for whatever reason. I accept these lower periods as the body telling me to slow down and take it easy for a while. It can make life difficult as it isn't always convenient to be depressed. But so long as I'm depressed I might as well accept it and allow it to run it's course. At the bottom of depression I can nearly always detect a certain level of sadness. This sadness is usually associated with disappointment or unfulfilled expectations.

The sadness itself is actually quite beautiful though, I often see sadness as the opposite of joy, yet still beautiful in its own right.

Depression can be nutritional as I mentioned already, but it can also be triggered through disappointment in the world and the universe not fulfilling expectations.

I hope this is helpful and I do trust that you will recover and once again experience the joy that comes from living consciously. :D
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Feb 11, 2015 6:07 am

dannydawiz wrote:What should I do guys? Where do I begin? How do I overcome depression?

My suggestion is that the first thing to do is stop writing lists detailing your perceived debilitating symptoms. I read this and was stunned at the obviousness of where you are focusing your attention. It's unlikely that you will overcome depression while living in the itemization of the issues that trouble you. If you want a better life focus on the things that make it better.

-Loss of joy in daily activities. Look actively for any small thing that helps you feel better. Find just one - a tasty meal for example - appreciate it (genuinely, not lip service), then find another, and another, and another. Fill your day with little incidences of appreciation. Appreciation feels good. Do more of it - then some more.

- Feelings of dread when waking up. Recognize that every day is ripe with possibilities. They don't have to be huge, although there is no reason to exclude anything. Just possibilities to find some fun and enjoyment. It is possible, isn't it? Acknowledge it. And then be ready to enjoy any little thing that comes your way. There's no litmus test of success or failure in this. Just opportunity that comes with each new day.

Now take every item on this self destructive list and reword it in a way that works for your life inprovement (as I did with the first two) instead of the pain identification that you have written. Write it in this forum. Take steps to recreate your own life experience. You will get nothing from this forum besides pointers and encouragement. Some of it quite useful if you employ it. But is is up to you to act. Start now. I look forward to what you can do to change list in your favor.

WW
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby alex » Wed Feb 11, 2015 10:11 am

Who knows why depression comes a knocking and who knows when it will pack it's bags and leave? All you know is that it's here and I would trust that it's here for a reason.
I like Jeff Foster's take on it - depressed / 'deep rest'.
It can be a calling to slow right down. To sink into this exhaustion and embrace being at the 'end of your tether'.
You are here and it's ok to be a little broken.
Big hugs.
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby smiileyjen101 » Wed Feb 11, 2015 10:33 am

NIce to hear from you Danny :D Thank you for popping in, I've missed you.
.....
Nice comments so far - me - I had to go and look up ... senioritis ...
Senioritis is a colloquial term mainly used in the United States and Canada to describe the decreased motivation toward studies displayed by students who are nearing the end of their high school, college and graduate school careers.

Bless you - we all get tired, we all run out of steam particularly when we're pacing ourselves up against some 'out there' form of acceptance and appreciation, instead of what is, right here, right now.

Why do we do this to our kids & to ourselves, live on some bs 'timetable of achievement'?

My answer to that diagnosis would be... oh well :wink: it is what it is.

In Germany the word depression translates into Worldschmirtz - literally - world weary.
We rush around and carry on and bury ourselves in false worries not of this moment, and pushing shite uphill and we wonder why it's tiring? That's really simple.... Because it IS tiring!! HELLO :P (expectation - reality)

Go back to the simplicity of the Four Agreements Danny
1. Be Impeccable with your Word - in any of those things in that list you wrote above DO NOT entertain falsehoods. Learn the difference, hear the hollowness in the things that are not true, and even if they arise, let them pass without taking them into you or holding them to you by arguing with them - let them pass, let them go.

2. Don't take anything personally - in any of those things in that list you wrote above step a little outside of holding onto the emotion. This too will pass and you only need take into you that which nourishes you.
Learn to bow - as in literally do a sweeping bend at the waist bow to signify letting things pass gracefully.
Another handy hint (from ET's monk story) is to meet stuff with a neutral, 'Is that so?' Not arguing with, just acknowledging a thought or comment is there, but not giving it power over you.

3. Don't make assumptions - assumptions are usually an over personal bias + not necessarily true thought or utterance.
In that list above notice assumptions arising (born of false emotions or not now expectations or projections) and let them go.

4. Always do your best - recognising that this will be different all the time.
If you are tired or unmotivated or world weary then doing your best, honestly and without assuming you'll get through it without rest or whatever, would be to take whatever rest you need to recuperate. Be honest that your best in this moment is what it is. Your best in this moment is going to be different all the time, when you're rested, when you're well, when you're engaged with something enjoyable, compared to when you're tired, unwell, unmotivated etc

When you let go of all that does not serve you - it's amazing how much lighter our 'burdens' feel, and how much less weary we are in and of the world.

You could absolutely argue with it - or go lay down in field or a park and watch clouds bump across the sky and sword fight with dandelions, watch ants scurry and realise that in THIS moment, labels actually don't mean much at all.

hugs Danny
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby DavidB » Wed Feb 11, 2015 12:41 pm

Vitamin D deficiency and omega 3 deficiency have been implicated in depression. There are many articles on the internet where you can find further information if you desire. I personally take 4-5 thousand IU's of vit D a day and 8-10 thousand mgs of fish oil.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby dannydawiz » Wed Feb 11, 2015 7:53 pm

DavidB wrote:I'm certainly not a nutritionist, but I can't help thinking that maybe you have a nutritional deficiency? This has happened to me before and when I changed my diet, I felt 100% better. It's worth investigating, trust me. You'll be surprised just how vital it is to have adequate nutrition and how it can affect mental well being.

As for depression, I've had severe depression in the past so I know what that is like. I came to realize that depression isn't always necessarily a negative thing. We oscillate over time and sometimes we dip down too low for whatever reason. I accept these lower periods as the body telling me to slow down and take it easy for a while. It can make life difficult as it isn't always convenient to be depressed. But so long as I'm depressed I might as well accept it and allow it to run it's course. At the bottom of depression I can nearly always detect a certain level of sadness. This sadness is usually associated with disappointment or unfulfilled expectations.

The sadness itself is actually quite beautiful though, I often see sadness as the opposite of joy, yet still beautiful in its own right.

Depression can be nutritional as I mentioned already, but it can also be triggered through disappointment in the world and the universe not fulfilling expectations.

I hope this is helpful and I do trust that you will recover and once again experience the joy that comes from living consciously. :D


Hello David. :)

The nutritional deficiency may very well be a problem. I can say without a doubt that my family eats out to much. When they don't eat out they bring some type of fast food which is also bad. Regardless of that I do generally drink about a half a gallon to a gallon of water a day.

They just recently stopped going out for food this week. However, even with normal food I have a tendency to throw it up. I'm going to the doctors today to find out whether this can have some sort of physical basis and it isn't just a side effect of the depression/medication.


alex wrote:Who knows why depression comes a knocking and who knows when it will pack it's bags and leave? All you know is that it's here and I would trust that it's here for a reason.
I like Jeff Foster's take on it - depressed / 'deep rest'.
It can be a calling to slow right down. To sink into this exhaustion and embrace being at the 'end of your tether'.
You are here and it's ok to be a little broken.
Big hugs.


Thanks Alex. :) If anything at least I know that if I manage to get out of this one I will have grown a bit more.

Webwanderer wrote:My suggestion is that the first thing to do is stop writing lists detailing your perceived debilitating symptoms. I read this and was stunned at the obviousness of where you are focusing your attention. It's unlikely that you will overcome depression while living in the itemization of the issues that trouble you. If you want a better life focus on the things that make it better.

-Loss of joy in daily activities. Look actively for any small thing that helps you feel better. Find just one - a tasty meal for example - appreciate it (genuinely, not lip service), then find another, and another, and another. Fill you day with little incidences of appreciation. Appreciation feels good. Do more of it - then some more.

- Feelings of dread when waking up. Recognize that every day is ripe with possibilities. They don't have to be huge, although there is no reason to exclude anything. Just possibilities to find some fun and enjoyment. It is possible, isn't it? Acknowledge it. And then be ready to enjoy any little thing that comes your way. There's no litmus test of success or failure in this. Just opportunity that comes with each new day.

Now take every item on this self destructive list and reword it in a way that works for your life inprovement (as I did with the first two) instead of the pain identification that you have written. Write it in this forum. Take steps to recreate you own life experience. You will get nothing from this forum besides pointers and encouragement. Some of it quite useful if you employ it. But is is up to you to act. Start now. I look forward to what you can do to change list in your favor.

WW


Thanks webwanderer. :)

- Loss of joy in daily activities - I talked to a friend today when I first got to school for about 10 minutes. I enjoyed talking to her. A few days ago I went to the park and I witnessed a group of 10-15 kids playing together. I layed down in the grass and I just sat down in between trees. I also visited another friend a few days ago for about two hours. I enjoyed there company.

- Feelings of dread when waking up - I know that I didn't always used to be this way. I remember a time in my life in which waking up led to feelings of excitement and joy. I wake up in a warm bed and a warm blanket in a beautiful house.

Low confidence in my ability to complete tasks - I've completed many tasks before. I worked for a summer full time which was my first job. I've read at least a hundred books. I completed my SAT's with an average score. I completed my high school exit exam. I succeeded in building a website. I succeeded in building a decent sized youtube channel when I was 12 or 13. I succeeded in building an email list of about 1000 people. I taught myself how to play guitar. I taught myself audio engineering even if I'm still not that good at it. I taught myself how to write music notation. I taught myself music theory. I taught myself how to hear music in numbers. I was learning how to play basketball at a point. I was able to learn a 1hour setlist and play it with people that I have never met before without only 30 minutes of rehearsal beforehand. I learned basic photoshop and taught myself personal finance...

- Wanting to sleep to much - I'm at my school right now writing this post and I don't want to sleep. Maybe when I'm at home laying on my bed I want to sleep because it's so comfortable.

- Social Isolation - I'm not isolated. I've got my entire family. My mother, stepfather , father, stepmother, sisters, grandparents, and a wonderful. I have 2 friends who I talked to over the weekend and another friend who I happen to text a bit to much at times.

Low confidence in my ability to make friends and talk to people - Maybe right now I feel unconfident but when I went back to school I was able to talk to people just fine. I approached groups filled with people I had never met before and made a great impression. I was outgoing and perhaps a bit to loud... I talked to my friend this morning just fine. I talked to my other friend on the weekend just fine.

Lack of meaning - I'll get back to this... Not gonna have enough time right now

Lack of control - I'll also get back to this... this ones tough and will also take more time.

Feelings of guilt - I do feel guilty for being depressed even though my family is doing their best to help me. The other day I felt bad thinking that I was such a liability to my family but my mother reassured me that her and my father will always love me and will never look at me that way.

Feelings of inadequacy - I could use some help with this one. I believe that it has to do with the fact that I'm a male and I'm not very good at sports... I also believe it has something to do with the fact that I'm overly critical of myself due to my tendency to be a perfectionist. I'm also usually comparing myself to people who are the best in their field or people who are "better" than me at a task.

Inability to focus - Its been about 40 minutes since I just started writing this post and I seem to be focusing quite well. I had a test today in which I focused on it for about 20 minutes. When I talked to my friend earlier this morning I also focused on that person for about 10 minutes.

Loss of motivation - I'm motivated to write this post so it certainly can't all be gone. Rather I can say that their is a loss of motivation to write music, go to school, and talk to people. The music part is most likely due to the fact that I'm really hard on myself and I am constantly failing which leads to feelings of learned helplessness. It also doesn't help that I've lost all faith in my ability to produce music. The talking to people thing may just be because I'm not happy with the state of a lot of my friendships right now. The going to school may be because there aren't any classes that I'm taking right now that I find to be interesting.

Loss of an understanding of reality - I'll get back to this one because it's harder to explain...



I'll work on the list more later on. Thanks webwanderer I already feel just a little bit better after doing all of that.


I'll get back to you Jen. :) I'm very happy to hear from you. Sorry it's just that I'm running out of time. There are quite a few falsehoods in the previous list. There are also assumptions that I noticed aren't completely true...

Thanks everyone for helping me so much. :)
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby KathleenBrugger » Wed Feb 11, 2015 7:59 pm

Hi Danny, I just noticed your response, and in particular to webwanderer. I was about to write this: This forum is blessed to have someone as wise and generous as webwanderer. I think his advice here is splendid.

The ego is a storyteller. It evolved for that purpose, and there are good reasons for its existence. But untrained, the storytelling can get out of control and cause problems like depression. What webwanderer is describing is a way to tame your storyteller. This isn't something that can happen overnight. It takes conscious practice, and as you do it you will find it becomes easier every day. I practice "question the story"--whatever my mind spits out, I ask, "is it true?"

Many people here like Byron Katie, and this is similar to her Work: Do I know this is true?
We are ALL Innocent by Reason of Insanity
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Feb 11, 2015 9:36 pm

Thanks Kathleen, for your kind words. Of course it's not just me, there are many fine contributors on this forum - yourself included. And it's a good thing. As I'm sure you recognize, some member/contributors are better suited for helpful dialog with certain members than for some others.

KathleenBrugger wrote:The ego is a storyteller. It evolved for that purpose, and there are good reasons for its existence. But untrained, the storytelling can get out of control and cause problems like depression. What webwanderer is describing is a way to tame your storyteller.

And not just tame, but harness. The stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, create much of our sense of self. If this indeed be true, then it becomes imperative that we tell stories that work for us in a way that brings an enjoyable life adventure. If we're telling stories anyway, let's tell uplifting and inspiring ones. Inspiration, appreciation, joy and love feels far better than depression.

WW
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby Onceler » Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:38 am

Nice bit of cognitive work, WW & Danny. Always good to see.
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Re: Need Help Curing Depression

Postby DavidB » Thu Feb 12, 2015 3:28 pm

And not just tame, but harness. The stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, create much of our sense of self. If this indeed be true, then it becomes imperative that we tell stories that work for us in a way that brings an enjoyable life adventure. If we're telling stories anyway, let's tell uplifting and inspiring ones. Inspiration, appreciation, joy and love feels far better than depression.


Amen to that brother. :D
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