Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

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Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby splats » Thu Mar 19, 2015 7:39 pm

Hello,

I've read Eckhart Tolle's books and they had a profound impact. About 1/3rd of the way through "The Power of Now" I realised all my suffering was false. It was truly blissful and I spent several days at complete peace without a care in the world.

However, I am a serial "thinker". I've spent 36 years thinking/worrying and fantasising about the past and the future. This manifests in irritability, a short fuse and generally being "up tight". Most people that know the egoic me would describe me as a live wire. So powerful is my thinking mind that it has now taken over again and I cannot find my way back. I try to get myself into the "now" again to rediscover that peace but my brain just won't shut up.

If I try to concentrate on my breathing my mind is saying, "in....and out, in.....and out"

If I try to feel my being, my mind says, "hmmm, that's your hand. That tingles. There's something there"

If I try hard enough to silence/ignore thoughts and remain still I find a sort of "false peace" - then my mind says, "hmmmm, that's nice...you are at peace now" (when I'm not really).

None of these are truly the "Now" - my mind has found away to put itself in the drivers seat and I cannot shut it up. I liken this whole experience to those Magic Eye 3D pictures; when you first try them it's really hard to see the image and then one day you relax your vision, look through the page and BINGO, it's as clear as day. Then a few days/weeks later, you try again and for some reason just can't "get it". Sometimes you see bits of the 3D coming through but it's often not as clear. That's how I feel just now, I've felt the peace and freedom of detaching from my ego driven mind and now I can't get myself back to that place. In many respects, my situation is worse than before - I feel a constant stress and longing to get back to that peaceful place. In short, I glimpsed heaven and that just makes hell seem measurably worse.

Does anyone else have similar experience or advice?
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Re: Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:58 pm

Try taking a series of deep connected breaths. Start with 10. Then just feel the reality of being. No analysis. No affirmations. Just 'feel' aliveness. Take 10 more breaths and repeat. Do this several times. Some beautiful background music can be helpful. No lyrics. Something deeply enjoyable.

Welcome to the forum. Let us know how it goes.

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Re: Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby Zizitop » Fri Mar 20, 2015 8:54 pm

Maybe you try to be too much in the now. I don't know how much time you spend on this, but a few moments a day is already enough,
when feeling too much tensions or when feeling you must recharge your batteries or as relaxation. Trying to be in the now can in my opinion even be an obstacle
as other daily activities ask your attention. This is because the human mind is limited and cannot focus on more things at once.
So then give fully attention or focus to those activities you are busy with (certain tasks, work, other people,...), ideally to that extent that the time passes that fast without realizing it. In that state there is no perception of time, and so in that period you've also been in the now, even though you were not aware of it.
I bet that you now start thinking about this :) , observe this thinking mind for a few moments, accept that it's there (it will always be), don't get irritated about it (if you do then feel the irritation), and then refocus on your activity (reading this message at this moment :) ). For me this works. Let us know how it works for you.
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Re: Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby ashley72 » Sat Mar 21, 2015 1:18 am

splats wrote:Hello,

I've read Eckhart Tolle's books and they had a profound impact. About 1/3rd of the way through "The Power of Now" I realised all my suffering was false. It was truly blissful and I spent several days at complete peace without a care in the world.


PON had the same impact on me initially. But what I found over time, was the book makes a lot of claims which frankly don't hold water!

I came to PON because I was suffering from chronic anxiety which was limiting the amount of satisfaction I was deriving from my own life.

What I discovered - nervous illness is not being caused by my EGO (self-reference) nor by my habitual thinking mind... these conditions were more the symptoms not the root cause.

The root cause was my nervous response had become dysfunctional because of a "positive feedback loop" that had become part of my nervous behaviours.

A positive feedback loop forms when the output cycle of any system is fed back into the input cycle causing an increase in the total output.

In respect to nervous illness, anxious or intrusive thoughts are sometimes a symptom of the nervous response. If the nervous sufferer treats these symptoms as "dangerous" that feeds back into the input cycle causing more anxious or intrusive thoughts. In other words, there is positive gain in overall symptoms which leads towards a panic cycle in respect to nervous illness.

splats wrote:However, I am a serial "thinker". I've spent 36 years thinking/worrying and fantasising about the past and the future. This manifests in irritability, a short fuse and generally being "up tight". Most people that know the egoic me would describe me as a live wire. So powerful is my thinking mind that it has now taken over again and I cannot find my way back. I try to get myself into the "now" again to rediscover that peace but my brain just won't shut up.


It sounds like you suffer from nervous illness... i.e excessive worrisome or bothersome thoughts.


splats wrote:If I try to concentrate on my breathing my mind is saying, "in....and out, in.....and out"

If I try to feel my being, my mind says, "hmmm, that's your hand. That tingles. There's something there"

If I try hard enough to silence/ignore thoughts and remain still I find a sort of "false peace" - then my mind says, "hmmmm, that's nice...you are at peace now" (when I'm not really).


These kinds of meditative methods don't work because they are merely distractions. They work for a short period, but ultimately the nervous illness comes back because you haven't understood the nervous response cycle.


splats wrote:None of these are truly the "Now" - my mind has found away to put itself in the drivers seat and I cannot shut it up. I liken this whole experience to those Magic Eye 3D pictures; when you first try them it's really hard to see the image and then one day you relax your vision, look through the page and BINGO, it's as clear as day. Then a few days/weeks later, you try again and for some reason just can't "get it". Sometimes you see bits of the 3D coming through but it's often not as clear. That's how I feel just now, I've felt the peace and freedom of detaching from my ego driven mind and now I can't get myself back to that place. In many respects, my situation is worse than before - I feel a constant stress and longing to get back to that peaceful place. In short, I glimpsed heaven and that just makes hell seem measurably worse.

Does anyone else have similar experience or advice?


What you need to do is stay with those worrisome or bothersome thoughts and let or the "nervous feelings" which accompany them be allowed to be fully felt and accepted.

A lot of nervous sufferers at this stage may still be perceiving those nervous symptoms as "dangerous"..... this is the crucial part.... you need to re-frame those nervous feelings as merely discomfort which is transient & stay with the nervous feelings or worrisome & bothersome thoughts until they subside. You watch them come & you watch them go. In that process you seem they are not dangerous at all, you don't need to do any kind of safety or avoidance behaviour to deal with the nervous response.... you just want to fully feel and embrace it... then let it float by.

That my friend is how you overcome a dysfunctional nervous response.

Don't worry about being in the NOW or your thinking mind.... those things just happen spontaneously. You can't stop thinking nor should you avoid thinking. Thinking helps us communicate with other beings both verbally and nonverbally.

BTW, recover takes time. I had my first panic attack 8 years ago now... which led quickly to more acute forms within weeks (agoraphobia & dissociative disorder).

I would probably classify myself still in the recovery stage.... about 90% better these days. I go to business meetings, social events, parties etc. I still get anxious thoughts, but rarely does it lead to avoidance behaviours or panic attacks. I'm still seeing improvements in my recovery even now... but "little" incremental improvements.... mainly in the way I drop all forms of avoidance or safety behaviours which can be very subtle things a person does to avoid behaviours because of nerves.

For a deeper understand check out this website: http://www.anxietycoach.com
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Re: Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby lmp » Sat Mar 21, 2015 4:59 pm

Realizing that all your suffering is false is a powerful realization and peace followed from the realisation. But it wasn't quite true because now there are the problems still and the wish to go back. So now there is the problem of contradiction, there is a lot of thinking and wanting it to go away at the same time. In contradiction any clarity goes away. Thoughts contradict themselves, which is part of pain. You say you want the now, but the now is the racing mind, which is again a contradiction. I would just patiently go into the problems one at a time, if it interests you, if not, then listen to what somebody else has to say.
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Re: Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby splats » Tue Mar 24, 2015 6:04 pm

Thanks for the reply's everyone. Sorry, I've not been in touch again sooner. I was away over the weekend and then feel ill for a few days.

Upon reading the responses it seemed somewhat obvious that my usual obsessiveness was kicking in. Having read PON and NE I gravitated towards an all-in approach where I tried to live every moment "in the now". Of course, the upshot of this is most likely a radical change in personality and life goals. Sudden and dramatic change is often something to be cautious of and I think the best advice is to try and integrate some of Eckhart's teachings more slowly as a means of 'resetting' or relaxing.

Rather than worry about 'not being present' maybe it's a better idea to simply take a few deep breaths and allow myself to be present any time I a) remember to b) notice myself becoming stressed. If being in that state has true value I'm sure that, over time, I will become more and more aware of my state of presence.
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Re: Glimpsed the Now....Now Stuck in the Mind

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Mar 25, 2015 2:03 pm

splats wrote:Rather than worry about 'not being present' maybe it's a better idea to simply take a few deep breaths and allow myself to be present any time I a) remember to b) notice myself becoming stressed. If being in that state has true value I'm sure that, over time, I will become more and more aware of my state of presence.

Very good self-advice. Integrate and evolve. It's far more about the journey than the destination.

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